This is primarily a Tulane football blog, although I do occasionally comment on all matters Tulane that may or may not be any of my business. I love following Tulane Greenwave football, zing-zang Bloody Marys, hostessing cute tailgating parties, and life in New Orleans. It's fabulous. oh and I adore Mr. Hullabaloo. PS This blog is not affiliated in any way "officially" with Tulane University or Tulane Athletics. It is purely the crazy antics and obsessions of Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo who love them some greenwave (I say tee-ay (!) y'all).

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Brace for Impact

This was me yesterday when I saw the Charcoal Uniforms make a re-appearance:


We get it Coach Fritz!  You're trying to make us get over our stupid superstitions and show that we are in control and that change is possible.

But Aslut(Tulsa)+Homecoming+Charcoal Uniforms is just a volatile combination that is impossible to overcome.

Woullard went down.  Nico went down. Ade Aruna went down.  Special Teams muffs another punt. Dirocco misses a field goal. We throw an interception on a 2 point conversion that gets run back for a touchdown. Ay yai yai!

I'm all for turning a new leaf and dismissing our past. But there's several things about yesterday's loss that are nagging me.  The biggest one obv is the uniforms. So please, please, no more.

The second thing that makes me pause is our rush to light up the ticker tape parade that we're all good now that Dickson and Cowen are gone and CJ was dismissed.  We've trotted out the meanie greenie and celebrated and clinked champagne glasses that all is right in GreenwaveNation.  Meanwhile forgetting that this is Tulane we are talking about here and that there are some harsh realities here. Like that we actually need to recruit players that can succeed in our conference and that we actually have to play against Houston and Temple and other New Years 6 contenders.

While I think exciting developments like the Meanie Greenie Water Feature are interesting, these pronouncements remind me of the time when they made a big deal and brought out Mardi Gras floats into the Superdome at halftime in the 80's to bring a crowd to the game. I think we lost that game.

We've lost to teams in some pretty shoddy stadiums that don't boast Water Features.  Tulsa's Chapman Concrete Bleacher Corral being one of them.  I had to laugh when I read on Gotula someone posting that the new water feature going up on our scoreboard just in time for homecoming is actually a sinister plot to waterboard the remaining Tulane fans.

Like I'll be more excited about wins in recruiting battles and wins on the field with or without a lifesize meanie greenie that spits out water.  As long as someone in a powerful position reading this henceforth insists that Sodexo purvey hot chocolate at Tulane sporting events - I'm totally okay if we manage without a water feature.

Anyways, me and my gals are soldiering on.  We are making our homecoming mums and menu preparations are under way for tailgating which includes stocking up majorly on the booze.  Jello shots from Wasted Fruit and our infamous Skip & Go Naked Punch are on the menu.

So watch out!


Saturday, October 15, 2016

Wardrobe Malfunction


I'm out of words. You just know Coach Rick Jones would so have held a bonfire to burn those charcoal uniforms and they'd never see the light of day again.  He'd a ripped it off and flung it out on the field and stomped on it and then stomped off to the locker room.  Remember the all blue baseball uniforms?

Anyways, our performance made me so sad that I couldn't even watch other college games the rest of the weekend.  And with the election being all kinda ways, I'm like can we fast forward to Baseball Season please?

The bright spot? Ade Aruna. I was super impressed.



 I would like to mention that Coach Hullabaloo fancies himself to be an Honorary Adjunct Special Teams specialist and he is a firm believer in the fake punts.  Most teams don't give us credit for being fierce and so when we punt everyone runs, leaving us with at least 20 yards of green in front of the punter.  Ample room to make a 4th and 2 or a 4th and 3. But we've taken advantage of that like exactly three times in the past 10 years (remember Jonathan Ginsburgh's fake punt at Rutgers? It was so Epic! Dare. to. dream.)

I'm fixing to go invite myself to Special Teams preparations and start providing my own ad lib instructions. Or at least to bring a plate of cookies. (Just kidding Coach if you are reading this! I will bring a plate of cookies tho!)

What's more, bye weeks are just wretched for us!  And so our streak of losing after Bye weeks continues. Why, why, why?!  I'm fixing to start a Change.org petition that we only have byes the first week and the last week of the season.

My final complaint (for today anyways) which I'd like to lodge, is about our game announcing! I honestly didn't realize it until someone else in our krewe pointed it out.  OMG, can we have something to say over the PA when we make a first down?  Whoever currently has this task has absolutely zero to say to rile up our fans, it's like they're up there watching The Voice reruns or something and then they turn their attention our game "Oh yeah, Zeddy just ran 33 yards." Ho hum, everyone carry on. 



 I think they should just mic up Graff for the stadium as well as for the radio. Everybody in favor of that idea say "Aye!"

The pink meanie greenie koozies that were given away were so super cute too.  So there's that plus also, if you made the game.


Anyways, we didn't set up a tailgate since it was a Friday game and Coach Hullabaloo gets exasperated as it is with setting up Saturday tailgates.  So we just hijacked the tailgate by another club and their set up was so cute.  I loved how they tied the green and baby blue tissue flowers to bustle the tablecloths on opposite sides. Presh.


I am so stealing this idea.  They said they got the tissue flowers from the dollar store, so guess where I'm bee-ling to?

Ok, so in case you are wondering - we are so not going to Tulsa.  Coach Hullabaloo refuses because of his disdain for Tulsans and all things Tulsa.  And since we've been to Tulane games in Tulsa three times, that's plenty enough Tulsa for one lifetime thank you.  We'll be watching from the confines of Chateau Hullabaloo or a watch party if a watering hole hosts one.

One last nugget: I've been lobbying behind the scenes for a cleansing of Yulman like how Benson did at the Superdome with the nuns and the priestess. I think the Nimbys put a hex and we need to scrub it away.  The powers that be think I'm crazy (obviously), but I am serious. Even maybe like a long distance Reiki session, or hang a dream catcher with a dreidel somewhere in there. What do you say?

Well, my chamudis, hang tight til Homecoming!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Laughyette!

I see you Mildly Aggravated Bellpeppers!  We beat you ugly, so who cares! Series is now 22-6! p.s. I took these photeauxs from Nola Dave and Parker Waters and Steven Lewis


What! That was so exhausting yesterday (never mind the Corndog's Lost Touchdown lol and the ensuing firings elle eaux elle).  This emotional cycle was totally me from the first to fourth quarter:



When the game started I was blissfully ignorantly and just sashayed on up to Westfeldt all smug and ready for the winning to commence. And then slowly realized that no, things were indeed going to go sideways, and omg Toledo would have called that, and is that really gato negro Rick Dickson on the field, and what OMG a punted ball just hit one of our special teams players on the head, wait wait hold on 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9, NINE! THERE'S NINE PLAYERS ON THAT PLAY! what the Facundus is going on! where did the twister mat go!  omg HE DROPPED THE BALL, HE REALLY DROPPED THAT BALL! This Shit Show Continues!

I was so thoroughly aggravated that I left in the middle of the 4th Quarter. I walked a friend to their car on Broadway, wandered around campus, got more aggravated by that stupid loud speaker barking at people incessantly, and then when I realized it was like major overtime situation happening I came back to bite my nails some more for that fourth overtime. Coach Hullabaloo was still right where I left him standing in our section and screaming down at the field. Oh Coach Hullabaloo how I love you so!


When we got that first field goal during the first half of the game, I was so disgusted we couldn't manage a touchdown I didn't hullabaloo.  Yes, I am definitively the most cynical fan ever.  Here I've been dying sick the past two games unable to speak from some monster awful sore throat for two whole games.  Me, of all people! I could not hullabaloo for the Southern game when there was much hullabaloo-ing to be done. It was devastating.  And now here for the USL game I was so peturbed by our performance, it was like when Scelfo punted on 3rd down. I deemed it unhullabaloo-worthy.  0 for 13 in third down conversions!

Anyways, my beloved Greenies pulled out a win and I was much relieved.

Tanzel Smart! Beast!!



Andrew Dirocco! 48 yards where have you been all my life?! Clutch City!


Glen Cuiellette! Comeback Kid!!! We found our passing game finally!


Nicoooooo!!



When Richard Allen got that tackle to stop their attempt at 2 point conversion (quintuple overtime, omg) it was hilarious to see the explosion of spirit rain all over Yulman.  I giggled watching Perry Mason with his popcorn megaphone over on the press box side directing chants or whatever he was cheering.  Those students who bolted for their busy sidewalk flailing appointments outside of the Boot missed out on an EPIC celebration.  Years from now when fans talk about the almost quintuple overtime, they'll all be like well you must understand. loitering outside the Boot was just super important. #EyeRoll


I witnessed powerade bottles fly up into the Westfeldt stands, blue powerade shower for everyone! Huzzah!  Players were doing somersaults across the field. And the Yulman Leaps my goodness!  Oh it was awesome! That ending was worth the wait and aggravation of playing like fools for 4 quarters.




One thing - when watching the replay how funny is it that ESPN for the FOURTH GAME in a ROW has no friggin clue who the hades Willie Fritz is (or Tulane! Hello...they called us Tulsa, Troy, ITT Tech, Tazmania U, practically every T institute of higher education in the free world).  So yeah, ESPN pans their cameras to the sidelines and picks out whatever random person and coronates them as Willie Fritz. Every grad assistant, water boy, position coach, service personnel wandering the sidelines, has been identified as Coach Fritz.  I say, that instead of a ball cap, we should put a crown on Willie Fritz and give him a sash.



I'd be embarrassed about ESPNs faux pas, except that I want Willie Fritz to be ours a bit longer so if nobody knows what he looks like, they can't find him.  Kinda like a witness protection. So it's win-win situation.  He's hiding in plain sight just for us.

So anyways after the game, Coach Hullabaloo and I went and celebrated with Boot Pizza because it was the only thing I could think of still open.  Except that now it's "Broadway Pizza" and they have fancy options now. We ordered the Margherita pizza and waited.

My lord, what happened to the Boot.  There's a line to get in to the Boot. A line with metal barricades. For what reason or purpose I failed to see. Honestly, even in the throes of the hey dey at AT's or Rendon, did you ever remember metal barricades?

Except that now the students just mill about around in the street like burner homeless people with their pot vapers, drug vials, drinking straight from bottles (not even with a proper brown paper bag even!), falling all over grimmy sidewalks, and Holy Jamie Garza the crude and vile behavior of the little boys (because there weren't any gentlemen that I saw) towards the women.  And some of these young ladies were undergarment optional! My eyes!

Of course there's an NOPD officer in his cruiser that is parked right there on the corner to make sure that the drug fueled whatever could carry on without people's children getting mugged.  Because losing their wallets (and not their dignity) is of primary concern.  Those Jesus people on Bourbon Street are missing out on some prime opportunity here.

Out of the sea of horrendous behavior, there was one very sweet student who confidently walked up to Coach Hullabaloo and me to introduce himself and chat. He was so cute!  In addition to asking if we were students (lol), he invited us to party with him because it was his birthday and his friends were lost in the crowd.  Henry you were a doll!  Thank you for complimenting my cute gameday dress!  And I promise, if I smoked pot I totes would have accepted your offer to share a joint and get tokked up with you in honor of your birthday! Thanks for offering us a swing of your Boones Farm too!  Cheers!

Speaking of good dranks, we had us some at tailgating! Woot!  Our Greenie Gal whom I'm calling Queen of the Nile made some blueberry lemonade rum punch.  And it was deeeelicious.  Here are some of us drinking it in our cute tailgating cups.


Also deeelicious was the gumbo made by the Greenie Gent of my girl I'm calling Sarah Jane (because she loves Doctor Who).  We also had boudin, dirty rice, this yummy copy cat of the "cajun dip" from Texas Roadhouse, mini muffs, and y'all....these Butter Pecan Blondies. omg.


These Butter Pecan Blondies were off. the. chain. And Coach Hullabaloo and I totally invented them standing there at Rouse's on Saturday morning perplexed why nobody has boxed blondie mix. So we decided to make something up. Ingenuity.

Off The Chain Butter Pecan Blondies
Betty Crocker Butter Pecan Cake Mix
Water
Butter
Eggs
Pam Spray
Heath Bar crumbles
Tub of Caramel icing

Preheat the oven to 375. Mix the cake mix sans the oil listed in the instructions (apparently omitting oil makes cake mix become brownies). Mix in a half a cup of crumbled up Heath bar (buy the bag). Spray pam real good all over a 13 x 9 cake pan.  Sprinkle another quarter to half a cup of crushed up Heath bar over the top.  Bake for 21 minutes and then let cool.  Warm up a womp of the Caramel icing in the microwave for 20 seconds or so and then drizzle over the cooled blondies. Cut into small squares and then eat up all the random side pieces that nobody would have wanted at tailgating anyways.

To balance out the blondies and the other high carb food offerings, I also made roasted brussel sprouts with homemade creole honeymustard dip which I can attest was yumm-o.  And so easy!  I put toothpicks in the brussels at tailgating for easy snacking.


Slap Ya Mamma Brussels
Half pound of brussels sprout halves
Slap Ya Mamma cajun seasoning
Olive errl
Half red onion
Creole mustard
Balsamic vinaigrette
Honey
Powdered chicken bouillon

Preheat oven to 350. Slice the red onion, toss with the brussels sprouts halves, and a table spoon or so of olive oil.  Sprinkle with seasoning and then spread out on a roasting pan. Spray with extra olive oil to make sure that it doesn't burn or stick to the pan.  Roast in the oven for 25-30 minutes or so until starting to brown, but tender.  Meanwhile mix up a few whomps or creole mustard, about a tablespoon or so of balsamic, a generous squeeze or so of honey mustard, half a packet or cube of chicken boullion cube and quarter cup or so of olive oil.  I whizzed up the dressing in a bullet blender to emulsify. Bring the sprouts to tailgate dry with the dressing in a side container so that people can dip or drizzle as they chose.

Ok y'all.  I'm resting from tailgating for a few.  We may not make it to UMASS because life is crazy. And then we shant be going to UCF this year because, yawn, Orlando.  But I would like to take this moment to thank all of the Cajuns reading this post.  Because we beat you with 9 players on the field. I laughyette you!


Sunday, September 18, 2016

We Should be 3-0


Now it's happened.  NOW, I'm gnashing my teeth.

Why lawd why!?

We should be 3-0 and currently being able to cherry pick the next three wins. I should be able to start planning my bowl activities (which shant be the Nola Bowl, because wretched).

The refs were horrid.  THIS was an interception.


And that WAS a pass interference later in the game.  And that WAS a horse collar.  But as it is with the all the service academies, the service academy players are beyond reproach and considered perfect in every way and never ever never could possibly ever commit an error or heaven forbid a penaleous (made up word) infraction.


This photo is of the Navy Middies that came in for the game.  It is unrelated to my rant other than Tyrone Power and I got to have some eye candy.

However, Tulane has veterans! We have many many many veterans. We have alumni Greenies who serve and have served.  We have an amazing ROTC program that is the 3rd oldest program in the United States and is considered one of the most prestigious. Tulane has Seals, Purple Hearts, yes you betcha.  But yet the service academies are treated like they are the only people on the planet who serve their country and are given way too much deference on the field in my personal and opinionated opinion.

This here Greenie played football at Tulane and also spent 6.5 years as a prisoner of war in the Hanoi Hilton after being shot down from his plane.  Thank you to Nola Dave for the photo.


We got passes to share Colonel Jones' suite in Glazer Club and Coach Hullabaloo got to go on the sidelines during the game too.  I got to ooh and ahh over Colonel Jones' signed helmet from Coach Fritz.


I just love Coach Fritz.  He is such a classy person and always goes above and beyond with every single thing he does.  I guess the one fortunate thing about this loss is that it simmers down some of the Twitter chatter of people who already married him off to Missouri or other openings at the end of the season. So there's that.

Anyways yes, we were very fortunate to be invited to be in Colonel Jones' suite. I wandered around Glazer and nibbled on chicken wings, and chocolate+coconut Plum Street Snoballs.  I even stood over the platter of miniature sweets like a total fool and took a bite out of most of the options to sample which one was my favorite.  Even Birmingham Wave came over to make sure and poke fun at me for being in Glazer Club after I ho-humed it last season.


Anyways, so as I was saying .... my above complaints about officials tripping over themselves for the service academies are some of the reasons why I hate, hate, hate, loathe, detest, abhor playing service academies.  We can't do nothing about omitting Navy since they are in our conference, but every time we willingly schedule Army a litter of cute puppies silently dies somewhere. Army is always so completely over the top.


But alas sigh, we could certainly point some fingers at ourselves for not taking a victory that we earned. If one more 70-something numbered player got called out on a penalty I was going to take Coach Hullabaloo's sideline pass and go roll my eyes on the sideline.  or something.

And holy where did our passing game go?  In one year, it's like poof gone.

And lastly, the new powers that be are not yet fully aware how precarious the juju situation is in New Orleans.  While in other parts of the country they may not believe in spirits or observe our careful respect of superstitions, you know that we in New Orleans take this stuff seriously.


Coach Rick Jones sort of took it to the extreme and was a little over the top on some of his gameday mandates for sure (What is Love?! Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me, No More...). But anyways, while we were still leading Navy late in the second half, one of the powers that be walked into the suite we were in and just thought outloud that this was going to be Coach Fritz' signature win of the season. Us veteran fans were like, omg NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What did you just do!  Stuff that thought cloud back in your mouth!

And then we missed the field goal and then Navy scored.


Oh well. Anyways, one thing that we stuffed in our mouths was our best tailgate menu yet.  Some of our tailgaters asked that we have this same menu again next week lol.

Crabcakes with remoulade
Blueberry Goat cheese
Rachel Ray's Green Bean Salad
Sub sandwiches
Crab Dip
Crab boil potato chips
Old Bay potato salad
Smoked Oyster Spread (such a cheater recipe!)
Smith Island Cake (overnighted from Maryland)
Bloody Marylands

The Bloody Marylands were amazeballs. Perry Mason said that people were still coming up to him during the game to lay praise on him about the Bloody Marylands.  Do these for your next bloody mary event and you will have people on their knees in praise.


PERRY'S BLOODY MARYLANDS
One container or can of lump white crab meat (drained/rinsed)
Low sodium V8 tomato juice
Clamato juice
Worcestershire
Hot Sauce
Old Bay
A-1 Steak Sauce
pat of butter
Garnishes of choice

Finely chop the crab meat. Even though it is cooked, sauté with small dab of butter and plenty of Old Bay seasoning.  Chill over night in the fridge.  Mix equal parts of low sodium V8 and Clamato (low sodium because Clamato is very salty).  Add a splash of Worcestershire, a splash of hot sauce (to taste), more Old Bay, and splash of A-1 Steak Sauce.  Then add the crab meat....and vodka. Voîla!

Perry Mason would like it noted that there is not a single solitary valid reason for any person to ever have Zing Zang at any bloody mary event. Ever. He would consider it a grave personal insult.  I had to laugh at that. I also laughed that he was more aggravated with the Tulane fans who told him to sit down when recovered that fumble in the second half than he was about the loss.  We could totally spot him jumping up and down in the crowd from way over in the suite lol.  Whoever those "Tulane" fans were that dared asked Perry Mason to take a seat during one of the more exciting portions of the game need for me to go eye roll at them for being party poopers.


So this was me and Coach Hullabaloo before he changed into his cute statue of liberty T Wave shirt.  If you didn't get to see it at the game, it's super cute.  I found it on Amazon.

The other things we loved from the game was the flyover.


I also loved loved the Anthem sung by the Victory Belles. Photo by Nola Dave.


So next up we will shall have gumbo with potato salad. Yumm-o.  Because that is how proper gumbo is eaten.

And I will be doing candles all week in hopes that we beat the tar out of USL.  Because I am still having PTSD about the New Orleans Bowl and the very thought of having them defame Yulman and give us another loss would just be heinous.

I won't tolerate that.


Sunday, September 11, 2016

The Wet T-Shirt Contest Game


First of all, I would like to issue a formal apology to the poor women of Wake Forest whom I maliciously maligned last week for not wearing a proper game day dress.

I was SO wrong and completely out of line.  So very very wrong. The universe is making me humble for pointing fingers and laughing.  Je m'excuse!

I would trade my beloved "Hey Tigers" shirt that I paid $80 bucks for (yes, there's a story) in exchange for your entire school of co-eds in their non-team colored rompers. Because a) they were still cute, and b) at least there you actually had more than an a couple of threads and dental floss masquerading as an article of clothing.

I mean, did you see that on Saturday?

My retinas will never be the same.  Our tailgate krewe sat there with our jaws on the gound expecting to see someone walk by next in pasties and a thong.

What Tulane co-eds thought that they looked like VS. What they actually looked like


Luckily for our eyes and since Gameday is actually family and locals event, the students made their typical cameo for the first half of the first game and then they will bail for the next four years.


Au revoir! See you again in 2018 little greenies!  Can't wait to see what next year's fashion fails will stumble out of The Boot for our viewing pleasure.


So this year's home opener was against a BAND that brought a football team.  The Southern University Human Jukebox was Off. The. Chain.


And the Dancing Dolls!  Oh my goodness! They were ahhhh-mazing! Their gold outfits! Their white gloves!  Their gold headbands!  At the finale of their halftime show when the Human Jukebox played "Do Whatcha Wanna" and the Dancing Dolls second line jam'd with their blue & gold umbrellas! I died.  I just simply died!

And just look at that Tulane "student section" almost empty, missed the entire thing.

One thing we did not miss out on was our tailgating.  Even through that unexpected monsoon lol.  We sat in the tent for the whole thing!

This was before the deluge.



And then this was after. Sort of a hot mess (omg the tablecloth all kinda ways and muddy), but it was the wonderful company and the delicious food that counted. We put down a few of the cardboard trashcans that survived the rain to save us from some of the mud and carried on.


And thank goodness we stayed because without fail, some students came in our tent to try and loot. Our group that was huddled under the tent had evacuated just over to the nearby stairwell during the heavier parts of the monsoon. It was just a few steps away, but the students took that as their cue to invite themselves to our things. Oh hell to the no.

I mean, just last week the national guard had to be practically called upon because they can't lock their apartment doors but it's okay for them to help themselves to other people's property without asking permission or introducing themselves.

Anyways, we had a feast. And if you weren't there, you missed out on Leslie's Crawfish Mac and Cheese, which I think was by far the best thing we have had thus far during the LBC Quad Tailgating Era of Hullabaloo Huddle.  We also made a pretty boss version of Banana Pudding with nutter butters and drizzled dulce de leche (heaven).  And we had pulled pork sandwiches, chicken tenders, watermelon, sweet potato potato salad, and a Kool Aid Drank. Yummm-o. Recipes will be below.

So this is how Coach Bad Ass's first home opener started.  66-21. Yes, indeed.



Way to Geaux Coach Fritz! Whatever we did to deserve you, our prayers all these decades have payed off. Hallelu!


My favorite parts of the game?  Parry Nickerson's pick six.  and Sherman Badie's kick off return for a touchdown.



Actually I loved that all our running backs made their touchdowns.  Josh Rounds, Lazedrick Thompson. Tanzel's fumble recovery!  I would have loved to have seen the big guy take it to the house.

This was the first game we have gotten to kneel out since Toledo's last victory when we beat UAB 49-10.

So next week we'll get to see if we really have this option thing down.  We play Navy who've shellacked us with the option.  And then the following week we'll get to have a crack at embarassing USL so that we can finally put our last two games with them behind us.

Recipes!

Banana Pudding Crack
2 packets of instant Banana Pudding mix
Milk according to the packet instructions
One package of big Nutter Butters
Plus a tub of Nutter Butters minis
Can of Dulce de Leche
Couple handsful of dried bananas, crushed up

Mix the banana pudding packets and set in the fridge. Line the bottom of your dessert tray with the big nutter butters and break them up slightly so that people can scoop easily.  Layer your pudding on top and then sprinkled the mini Nutters all about and sprinkle the crushed dried bananas about as well.  Put the dulce de leche in a zip lock bag and cut a smallish hole and drizzle away.  If you want to be super decadent, you could add a few white chocolate chips on top for good measure. I dusted a smidge of cinnamon on top of everything before packing the tray away to take to tailgating.

Sweet Potato Potato Salad
2-3 sweet taters, peeled and cut in cubes
red bell pepper, choped
half sweet vidalia onion, finely chopped
2-3 stalked of chopped green onion
womp of Mayo
tablespoon orange juice
cumin
paprika
salt and pepepr

Berl the sweet taters in salted water for about 15 minutes.  Drain and let cool.  Meanwhile mix the veg, the mayo, OJ in your bowl.  Sprinkle cumin and paprika over the taters.  Combine everything.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Sprinkle with dried parsley.

Kool Aid Drank
2 packets of Berry Koolaid
One 750ml bottle of Gin
Half cup of Lime Juice
Cup of sugar
Quart of Water
2 Cans of Ginger Ale

Next week: Navy and Crabcakes!  See you in 7 days my Greenies!


Friday, September 2, 2016

Dumpster Fire No Mo'


That was so weird yesterday!  A loss that was actually encouraging.  That ridiculous excuse/prediction that Toledo kept promising would happen where we would start losing better actually happened.

And the weather held out for the game too! #Winning

I have decided that Moral Victories of the Coach Fritz Era are vastly superior to being completely despondent over the hopeless haplessness of the Days That Are Behind Us.


Yes, indeed Coach! We are loving you!

Anyways, leaving the game last night the Wake Forest peeps were all trying to convince themselves to enjoy their victory, but they all sort of just shuffled out of there. No like HELL YEA or Rebel Yells, or WaaaHooo's!  Y'all Houston would have kicked their ass into the next millenium and they would probably still be trying to figure out what the heck happened.

All the dozens of them that were there anyways.

Listen up members of the Greenwave Nation hereby reading this blog.  I do not want anybody complaining to us again or thinking outloud about our attendance or the size of our band.  Because Wake Forest was so sad.  It was sad sad.  Like really sad.


I don't know if it was because it was a Thursday game, or the sketchy area that BB&T Stadium is located, but that was by far the most depressing P5 conference team and stadium I have visited. Although the people of Wake Forest are all lovely. I must preface by saying that we did not encounter a single solitary idiot fan.  They were very well behaved. They were pleasant. and they kept to themselves.  Well, they reminded us of us honestly.

People were telling me that Wake Forest is the most spectacular campus ever, but I did not get to see that.  I was picturing in my head something similar to Duke's lovely and delightful gameday atmosphere and stadium. But this was nowhere near that.



I would describe the environment as, well, Listless.  Their mascot even stalled his motorcycle at the 50 yard line and had to scoot it off the field.




Embarrassing! Speaking of Mascots and being embarrassed, ours was actually in attendance! Oh thank you Sweet Yahweh for all your gifts you are raining down on us!

What! Yes, it's true! Not an impostor.  The actual Riptide (and I think they fixed his eyes too so he's not like a scary clown.)  I even took this photo to document it because if I hadn't seen it you wouldn't believe me.


Ok, so the band....The Wake Forest band had less members than ours and what was more sad was that they were in T-shirts and shorts. For an ESPN televised game.

I don't know if we just get all excited about even just having a band that we go all out the box with putting ours into actual uniforms, but Wake Forest Band's sad little shorts reminded me of the post-Katrina years when our cheerleaders wore shorts because...well, I don't know why exactly our cheerleaders didn't get to have proper uniforms.  Because if someone had asked me for funds we would have certainly gotten them proper uniforms somehow someway.

Before the game, I don't know who decides their music line up, it was this endless stream of totally random rap/hip hop mishmash.  Like as if Wake Forest was trying to prove their street cred. Child, please. Wake Forest pregame << FAU.

The Wake Forest students line up on the grassy knoll and then they all run over across the stadium to the gates where they let the team run out and they form these messy lines to cheer the team through. I mean look at that Green jacket?  Could you imagine someone wearing a purple jacket on the field at a Tulane game?



It reminded me of the Rice Marching Owl Band running around doing their haphazard routines.  I way much prefer our blow up air tunnel with the sparklers and the team running over to the student section before going to the home sideline.  One thing I do wish is that Riptide would go back to leading the team out in the SeaDoo just like how their Demon Deacon does here on his motorcycle.  Except not the stalling out in the middle of the field part.

The Wake Forest dance team - who don't even have a cute Southern name, like the Tempting Tartlets or something cleverly related to their mascot - dances on the dugouts (not really dugouts, but it looks like dugouts), which was really cute.


And at the end of the game they do a super cute performance while the jumbotron exclaims "WAKE FOREST WINS!".  We so need to copy that victory dance for Shockwave.  But again - the Wake Forest dance team outfits were absolute yawners. They might as well have been in nun habits out there.

Wake Forest in general is just screaming for a makeover. Especially in the food and drink department.

At Wake they do an "Alcohol Check" when you walk in so that you can purchase "alcohol".  Some adults with a card table and a stack of purple wrist bands, they look at your ID (yes mister! I am 40somethingish! Don't look at me sideways) and then they mark you as a sinner around your wrist.  Except that was major false advertising because all we ever found was beer, and it was being sold by the good Catholics with the local Knights of Columbus chapter as their fundraiser. Hurray for Catholics!

Maybe an enterprising person brings their own so that they can spruce up the smoothies from the Coffee Truck for a tasty daiquiri.

So there was dipping dots, some horrid funnel cakes, a gyro cart, a burger food truck, and the interesting coffee truck with smoothies and lattes, and then blah popcorn and pepsi products. No barbecue!  Not even barbecue flavored chips. In a state known world over for their barbecue! And I barely saw any tailgating.  No cute tailgating decorations for me to ooh and ahh over, no yummy grilled goodness for me to sniff on vicariously like at University of Hawaii with their huli huli chicken and paper boats of pineapple fried rice. No walking from fraternity row to sorority row like at Georgia Tech or the cute booster tents like at Duke. Nothing.

And they can't say "but Thursday game" because we played Louisiana Tech on a Thursday and it was on ESPN too and they totally turned out in Ruston.

And no gameday dresses! Not one.  I was like, we are in (north) Carolina, right?  We didn't take a wrong turn off the interstate and wander over north of the Mason Dixon line or something?  I mean at Georgia Tech I was just in h-e-a-v-e-n admiring all the spirit, and the pomp, and the circumstance and then in Winston-Salem it's like the Witch landed on the house at Oz instead of the other way around.



Anyways, the game.

We will get better, and that makes me okay with the outcome.  I was vastly impressed with the improvements in instilling discipline in the team.  

The twister mat thingie, the grad assistants in color coordinating outfits so that they were easily identifiable on the sidelines.


People be eye rolling at me that these additions are high school things, but whatever.  I'm not knocking it.  CJ Johnson seemed to prefer playing with 9 players on the field, so if the twister mat fixes that bad habit then I'm behind it.

Should we have gone for the field goal on 4th down?  Should Cuillette have incorporated hand offs to our stable of running backs instead of Up The Middle (or what's it actually called with the option?). Coulda woulda shoulda.


But if you had told me on Wednesday that we would have been up on Wake and then held them to one score the whole game I woulda said "Get Outta Here! You Lyin!" and laughed.

I know that our new powers that be are upset that we didn't take that win away from Wake Forest because they hate losing and expect to win.  But that just makes me even more happy.  Because it means we are finally finally FINALLY governed by winners and that should make everyone in Greenwave Nation proud.

No more BS press conferences, no more putting lipstick on a pig and trying to sell us waterfront property in Arizona.  It's over, it's finally over.