Brace for Impact

This was me yesterday when I saw the Charcoal Uniforms make a re-appearance:

We get it Coach Fritz!  You're trying to make us get over our stupid superstitions and show that we are in control and that change is possible.

But Aslut(Tulsa)+Homecoming+Charcoal Uniforms is just a volatile combination that is impossible to overcome.

Woullard went down.  Nico went down. Ade Aruna went down.  Special Teams muffs another punt. Dirocco misses a field goal. We throw an interception on a 2 point conversion that gets run back for a touchdown. Ay yai yai!

I'm all for turning a new leaf and dismissing our past. But there's several things about yesterday's loss that are nagging me.  The biggest one obv is the uniforms. So please, please, no more.

The second thing that makes me pause is our rush to light up the ticker tape parade that we're all good now that Dickson and Cowen are gone and CJ was dismissed.  We've trotted out the meanie greenie and celebrated and clinked champagne glasses that all is right in GreenwaveNation.  Meanwhile forgetting that this is Tulane we are talking about here and that there are some harsh realities here. Like that we actually need to recruit players that can succeed in our conference and that we actually have to play against Houston and Temple and other New Years 6 contenders.

While I think exciting developments like the Meanie Greenie Water Feature are interesting, these pronouncements remind me of the time when they made a big deal and brought out Mardi Gras floats into the Superdome at halftime in the 80's to bring a crowd to the game. I think we lost that game.

We've lost to teams in some pretty shoddy stadiums that don't boast Water Features.  Tulsa's Chapman Concrete Bleacher Corral being one of them.  I had to laugh when I read on Gotula someone posting that the new water feature going up on our scoreboard just in time for homecoming is actually a sinister plot to waterboard the remaining Tulane fans.

Like I'll be more excited about wins in recruiting battles and wins on the field with or without a lifesize meanie greenie that spits out water.  As long as someone in a powerful position reading this henceforth insists that Sodexo purvey hot chocolate at Tulane sporting events - I'm totally okay if we manage without a water feature.

Anyways, me and my gals are soldiering on.  We are making our homecoming mums and menu preparations are under way for tailgating which includes stocking up majorly on the booze.  Jello shots from Wasted Fruit and our infamous Skip & Go Naked Punch are on the menu.

So watch out!

We Should be 3-0

Now it's happened.  NOW, I'm gnashing my teeth.

Why lawd why!?

We should be 3-0 and currently being able to cherry pick the next three wins. I should be able to start planning my bowl activities (which shant be the Nola Bowl, because wretched).

The refs were horrid.  THIS was an interception.

And that WAS a pass interference later in the game.  And that WAS a horse collar.  But as it is with the all the service academies, the service academy players are beyond reproach and considered perfect in every way and never ever never could possibly ever commit an error or heaven forbid a penaleous (made up word) infraction.

This photo is of the Navy Middies that came in for the game.  It is unrelated to my rant other than Tyrone Power and I got to have some eye candy.

However, Tulane has veterans! We have many many many veterans. We have alumni Greenies who serve and have served.  We have an amazing ROTC program that is the 3rd oldest program in the United States and is considered one of the most prestigious. Tulane has Seals, Purple Hearts, yes you betcha.  But yet the service academies are treated like they are the only people on the planet who serve their country and are given way too much deference on the field in my personal and opinionated opinion.

This here Greenie played football at Tulane and also spent 6.5 years as a prisoner of war in the Hanoi Hilton after being shot down from his plane.  Thank you to Nola Dave for the photo.

We got passes to share Colonel Jones' suite in Glazer Club and Coach Hullabaloo got to go on the sidelines during the game too.  I got to ooh and ahh over Colonel Jones' signed helmet from Coach Fritz.

I just love Coach Fritz.  He is such a classy person and always goes above and beyond with every single thing he does.  I guess the one fortunate thing about this loss is that it simmers down some of the Twitter chatter of people who already married him off to Missouri or other openings at the end of the season. So there's that.

Anyways yes, we were very fortunate to be invited to be in Colonel Jones' suite. I wandered around Glazer and nibbled on chicken wings, and chocolate+coconut Plum Street Snoballs.  I even stood over the platter of miniature sweets like a total fool and took a bite out of most of the options to sample which one was my favorite.  Even Birmingham Wave came over to make sure and poke fun at me for being in Glazer Club after I ho-humed it last season.

Anyways, so as I was saying .... my above complaints about officials tripping over themselves for the service academies are some of the reasons why I hate, hate, hate, loathe, detest, abhor playing service academies.  We can't do nothing about omitting Navy since they are in our conference, but every time we willingly schedule Army a litter of cute puppies silently dies somewhere. Army is always so completely over the top.

But alas sigh, we could certainly point some fingers at ourselves for not taking a victory that we earned. If one more 70-something numbered player got called out on a penalty I was going to take Coach Hullabaloo's sideline pass and go roll my eyes on the sideline.  or something.

And holy where did our passing game go?  In one year, it's like poof gone.

And lastly, the new powers that be are not yet fully aware how precarious the juju situation is in New Orleans.  While in other parts of the country they may not believe in spirits or observe our careful respect of superstitions, you know that we in New Orleans take this stuff seriously.

Coach Rick Jones sort of took it to the extreme and was a little over the top on some of his gameday mandates for sure (What is Love?! Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me, No More...). But anyways, while we were still leading Navy late in the second half, one of the powers that be walked into the suite we were in and just thought outloud that this was going to be Coach Fritz' signature win of the season. Us veteran fans were like, omg NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What did you just do!  Stuff that thought cloud back in your mouth!

And then we missed the field goal and then Navy scored.

Oh well. Anyways, one thing that we stuffed in our mouths was our best tailgate menu yet.  Some of our tailgaters asked that we have this same menu again next week lol.

Crabcakes with remoulade
Blueberry Goat cheese
Rachel Ray's Green Bean Salad
Sub sandwiches
Crab Dip
Crab boil potato chips
Old Bay potato salad
Smoked Oyster Spread (such a cheater recipe!)
Smith Island Cake (overnighted from Maryland)
Bloody Marylands

The Bloody Marylands were amazeballs. Perry Mason said that people were still coming up to him during the game to lay praise on him about the Bloody Marylands.  Do these for your next bloody mary event and you will have people on their knees in praise.

PERRY'S BLOODY MARYLANDS
One container or can of lump white crab meat (drained/rinsed)
Low sodium V8 tomato juice
Clamato juice
Worcestershire
Hot Sauce
Old Bay
A-1 Steak Sauce
pat of butter
Garnishes of choice

Finely chop the crab meat. Even though it is cooked, sauté with small dab of butter and plenty of Old Bay seasoning.  Chill over night in the fridge.  Mix equal parts of low sodium V8 and Clamato (low sodium because Clamato is very salty).  Add a splash of Worcestershire, a splash of hot sauce (to taste), more Old Bay, and splash of A-1 Steak Sauce.  Then add the crab meat....and vodka. Voîla!

Perry Mason would like it noted that there is not a single solitary valid reason for any person to ever have Zing Zang at any bloody mary event. Ever. He would consider it a grave personal insult.  I had to laugh at that. I also laughed that he was more aggravated with the Tulane fans who told him to sit down when recovered that fumble in the second half than he was about the loss.  We could totally spot him jumping up and down in the crowd from way over in the suite lol.  Whoever those "Tulane" fans were that dared asked Perry Mason to take a seat during one of the more exciting portions of the game need for me to go eye roll at them for being party poopers.

So this was me and Coach Hullabaloo before he changed into his cute statue of liberty T Wave shirt.  If you didn't get to see it at the game, it's super cute.  I found it on Amazon.

The other things we loved from the game was the flyover.

I also loved loved the Anthem sung by the Victory Belles. Photo by Nola Dave.

So next up we will shall have gumbo with potato salad. Yumm-o.  Because that is how proper gumbo is eaten.

And I will be doing candles all week in hopes that we beat the tar out of USL.  Because I am still having PTSD about the New Orleans Bowl and the very thought of having them defame Yulman and give us another loss would just be heinous.

I won't tolerate that.

The Wet T-Shirt Contest Game

First of all, I would like to issue a formal apology to the poor women of Wake Forest whom I maliciously maligned last week for not wearing a proper game day dress.

I was SO wrong and completely out of line.  So very very wrong. The universe is making me humble for pointing fingers and laughing.  Je m'excuse!

I would trade my beloved "Hey Tigers" shirt that I paid $80 bucks for (yes, there's a story) in exchange for your entire school of co-eds in their non-team colored rompers. Because a) they were still cute, and b) at least there you actually had more than an a couple of threads and dental floss masquerading as an article of clothing.

I mean, did you see that on Saturday?

My retinas will never be the same.  Our tailgate krewe sat there with our jaws on the gound expecting to see someone walk by next in pasties and a thong.

What Tulane co-eds thought that they looked like VS. What they actually looked like

Luckily for our eyes and since Gameday is actually family and locals event, the students made their typical cameo for the first half of the first game and then they will bail for the next four years.

Au revoir! See you again in 2018 little greenies!  Can't wait to see what next year's fashion fails will stumble out of The Boot for our viewing pleasure.

So this year's home opener was against a BAND that brought a football team.  The Southern University Human Jukebox was Off. The. Chain.


And the Dancing Dolls!  Oh my goodness! They were ahhhh-mazing! Their gold outfits! Their white gloves!  Their gold headbands!  At the finale of their halftime show when the Human Jukebox played "Do Whatcha Wanna" and the Dancing Dolls second line jam'd with their blue & gold umbrellas! I died.  I just simply died!

And just look at that Tulane "student section" almost empty, missed the entire thing.

One thing we did not miss out on was our tailgating.  Even through that unexpected monsoon lol.  We sat in the tent for the whole thing!

This was before the deluge.

And then this was after. Sort of a hot mess (omg the tablecloth all kinda ways and muddy), but it was the wonderful company and the delicious food that counted. We put down a few of the cardboard trashcans that survived the rain to save us from some of the mud and carried on.

And thank goodness we stayed because without fail, some students came in our tent to try and loot. Our group that was huddled under the tent had evacuated just over to the nearby stairwell during the heavier parts of the monsoon. It was just a few steps away, but the students took that as their cue to invite themselves to our things. Oh hell to the no.

I mean, just last week the national guard had to be practically called upon because they can't lock their apartment doors but it's okay for them to help themselves to other people's property without asking permission or introducing themselves.

Anyways, we had a feast. And if you weren't there, you missed out on Leslie's Crawfish Mac and Cheese, which I think was by far the best thing we have had thus far during the LBC Quad Tailgating Era of Hullabaloo Huddle.  We also made a pretty boss version of Banana Pudding with nutter butters and drizzled dulce de leche (heaven).  And we had pulled pork sandwiches, chicken tenders, watermelon, sweet potato potato salad, and a Kool Aid Drank. Yummm-o. Recipes will be below.

So this is how Coach Bad Ass's first home opener started.  66-21. Yes, indeed.

Way to Geaux Coach Fritz! Whatever we did to deserve you, our prayers all these decades have payed off. Hallelu!

My favorite parts of the game?  Parry Nickerson's pick six.  and Sherman Badie's kick off return for a touchdown.

Actually I loved that all our running backs made their touchdowns.  Josh Rounds, Lazedrick Thompson. Tanzel's fumble recovery!  I would have loved to have seen the big guy take it to the house.

This was the first game we have gotten to kneel out since Toledo's last victory when we beat UAB 49-10.

So next week we'll get to see if we really have this option thing down.  We play Navy who've shellacked us with the option.  And then the following week we'll get to have a crack at embarassing USL so that we can finally put our last two games with them behind us.

Recipes!

Banana Pudding Crack
2 packets of instant Banana Pudding mix
Milk according to the packet instructions
One package of big Nutter Butters
Plus a tub of Nutter Butters minis
Can of Dulce de Leche
Couple handsful of dried bananas, crushed up

Mix the banana pudding packets and set in the fridge. Line the bottom of your dessert tray with the big nutter butters and break them up slightly so that people can scoop easily.  Layer your pudding on top and then sprinkled the mini Nutters all about and sprinkle the crushed dried bananas about as well.  Put the dulce de leche in a zip lock bag and cut a smallish hole and drizzle away.  If you want to be super decadent, you could add a few white chocolate chips on top for good measure. I dusted a smidge of cinnamon on top of everything before packing the tray away to take to tailgating.

Sweet Potato Potato Salad
2-3 sweet taters, peeled and cut in cubes
red bell pepper, choped
half sweet vidalia onion, finely chopped
2-3 stalked of chopped green onion
womp of Mayo
tablespoon orange juice
cumin
paprika
salt and pepepr

Berl the sweet taters in salted water for about 15 minutes.  Drain and let cool.  Meanwhile mix the veg, the mayo, OJ in your bowl.  Sprinkle cumin and paprika over the taters.  Combine everything.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Sprinkle with dried parsley.

Kool Aid Drank
2 packets of Berry Koolaid
One 750ml bottle of Gin
Half cup of Lime Juice
Cup of sugar
Quart of Water
2 Cans of Ginger Ale

Next week: Navy and Crabcakes!  See you in 7 days my Greenies!

Dumpster Fire No Mo'

That was so weird yesterday!  A loss that was actually encouraging.  That ridiculous excuse/prediction that Toledo kept promising would happen where we would start losing better actually happened.

And the weather held out for the game too! #Winning

I have decided that Moral Victories of the Coach Fritz Era are vastly superior to being completely despondent over the hopeless haplessness of the Days That Are Behind Us.

Yes, indeed Coach! We are loving you!

Anyways, leaving the game last night the Wake Forest peeps were all trying to convince themselves to enjoy their victory, but they all sort of just shuffled out of there. No like HELL YEA or Rebel Yells, or WaaaHooo's!  Y'all Houston would have kicked their ass into the next millenium and they would probably still be trying to figure out what the heck happened.

All the dozens of them that were there anyways.

Listen up members of the Greenwave Nation hereby reading this blog.  I do not want anybody complaining to us again or thinking outloud about our attendance or the size of our band.  Because Wake Forest was so sad.  It was sad sad.  Like really sad.

I don't know if it was because it was a Thursday game, or the sketchy area that BB&T Stadium is located, but that was by far the most depressing P5 conference team and stadium I have visited. Although the people of Wake Forest are all lovely. I must preface by saying that we did not encounter a single solitary idiot fan.  They were very well behaved. They were pleasant. and they kept to themselves.  Well, they reminded us of us honestly.

People were telling me that Wake Forest is the most spectacular campus ever, but I did not get to see that.  I was picturing in my head something similar to Duke's lovely and delightful gameday atmosphere and stadium. But this was nowhere near that.

I would describe the environment as, well, Listless.  Their mascot even stalled his motorcycle at the 50 yard line and had to scoot it off the field.

Embarrassing! Speaking of Mascots and being embarrassed, ours was actually in attendance! Oh thank you Sweet Yahweh for all your gifts you are raining down on us!

What! Yes, it's true! Not an impostor.  The actual Riptide (and I think they fixed his eyes too so he's not like a scary clown.)  I even took this photo to document it because if I hadn't seen it you wouldn't believe me.

Ok, so the band....The Wake Forest band had less members than ours and what was more sad was that they were in T-shirts and shorts. For an ESPN televised game.

I don't know if we just get all excited about even just having a band that we go all out the box with putting ours into actual uniforms, but Wake Forest Band's sad little shorts reminded me of the post-Katrina years when our cheerleaders wore shorts because...well, I don't know why exactly our cheerleaders didn't get to have proper uniforms.  Because if someone had asked me for funds we would have certainly gotten them proper uniforms somehow someway.

Before the game, I don't know who decides their music line up, it was this endless stream of totally random rap/hip hop mishmash.  Like as if Wake Forest was trying to prove their street cred. Child, please. Wake Forest pregame << FAU.

The Wake Forest students line up on the grassy knoll and then they all run over across the stadium to the gates where they let the team run out and they form these messy lines to cheer the team through. I mean look at that Green jacket?  Could you imagine someone wearing a purple jacket on the field at a Tulane game?

It reminded me of the Rice Marching Owl Band running around doing their haphazard routines.  I way much prefer our blow up air tunnel with the sparklers and the team running over to the student section before going to the home sideline.  One thing I do wish is that Riptide would go back to leading the team out in the SeaDoo just like how their Demon Deacon does here on his motorcycle.  Except not the stalling out in the middle of the field part.

The Wake Forest dance team - who don't even have a cute Southern name, like the Tempting Tartlets or something cleverly related to their mascot - dances on the dugouts (not really dugouts, but it looks like dugouts), which was really cute.

And at the end of the game they do a super cute performance while the jumbotron exclaims "WAKE FOREST WINS!".  We so need to copy that victory dance for Shockwave.  But again - the Wake Forest dance team outfits were absolute yawners. They might as well have been in nun habits out there.

Wake Forest in general is just screaming for a makeover. Especially in the food and drink department.

At Wake they do an "Alcohol Check" when you walk in so that you can purchase "alcohol".  Some adults with a card table and a stack of purple wrist bands, they look at your ID (yes mister! I am 40somethingish! Don't look at me sideways) and then they mark you as a sinner around your wrist.  Except that was major false advertising because all we ever found was beer, and it was being sold by the good Catholics with the local Knights of Columbus chapter as their fundraiser. Hurray for Catholics!

Maybe an enterprising person brings their own so that they can spruce up the smoothies from the Coffee Truck for a tasty daiquiri.

So there was dipping dots, some horrid funnel cakes, a gyro cart, a burger food truck, and the interesting coffee truck with smoothies and lattes, and then blah popcorn and pepsi products. No barbecue!  Not even barbecue flavored chips. In a state known world over for their barbecue! And I barely saw any tailgating.  No cute tailgating decorations for me to ooh and ahh over, no yummy grilled goodness for me to sniff on vicariously like at University of Hawaii with their huli huli chicken and paper boats of pineapple fried rice. No walking from fraternity row to sorority row like at Georgia Tech or the cute booster tents like at Duke. Nothing.

And they can't say "but Thursday game" because we played Louisiana Tech on a Thursday and it was on ESPN too and they totally turned out in Ruston.

And no gameday dresses! Not one.  I was like, we are in (north) Carolina, right?  We didn't take a wrong turn off the interstate and wander over north of the Mason Dixon line or something?  I mean at Georgia Tech I was just in h-e-a-v-e-n admiring all the spirit, and the pomp, and the circumstance and then in Winston-Salem it's like the Witch landed on the house at Oz instead of the other way around.

Anyways, the game.

We will get better, and that makes me okay with the outcome.  I was vastly impressed with the improvements in instilling discipline in the team.  

The twister mat thingie, the grad assistants in color coordinating outfits so that they were easily identifiable on the sidelines.

People be eye rolling at me that these additions are high school things, but whatever.  I'm not knocking it.  CJ Johnson seemed to prefer playing with 9 players on the field, so if the twister mat fixes that bad habit then I'm behind it.

Should we have gone for the field goal on 4th down?  Should Cuillette have incorporated hand offs to our stable of running backs instead of Up The Middle (or what's it actually called with the option?). Coulda woulda shoulda.

But if you had told me on Wednesday that we would have been up on Wake and then held them to one score the whole game I woulda said "Get Outta Here! You Lyin!" and laughed.

I know that our new powers that be are upset that we didn't take that win away from Wake Forest because they hate losing and expect to win.  But that just makes me even more happy.  Because it means we are finally finally FINALLY governed by winners and that should make everyone in Greenwave Nation proud.

No more BS press conferences, no more putting lipstick on a pig and trying to sell us waterfront property in Arizona.  It's over, it's finally over.

Happy Dance

I is so happy, I may actually forget how much next year's schedule sucks and how furious I was that they cancelled our away game to Starkvegas to play Mississippi State. Or was it Ole Miss that they cancelled?

Anyways, today was like the first time in like ever, that Tulane managed to put out the announcement of our future opponents prior to the celebration of Purim. And they also actually included the date of the American Conference championship game on the list of games, omg ha!

This is no longer your same ole Greenwave y'all!

My WAY too early predictions? Southern, UL (please let it be a humiliating payback, puh-leeze!), Massachusetts, SMU, UConn, and Tulsa. Go out and buy a powerball ticket y'all.

So yes! We had a press conference announcement today over in the Glazer Club. Hullabaloo Ray Ray!

Coach Fritz went all ARGGG! on us tossing a ROLL WAVE into his introduction speech. Most of us Greenies are still so shellshocked by all the losing from the Dickson Era that we didn't quite know how to respond and just gave him our polite golf claps in response. The moment captured by the Times Pic. Look at President Fitts. lmao. He's so cute.

LOL. I wish that Buggy lived in Nola so that he could have stood up and lead a spontaneous round of Hullabaloo for the occasion.

It was a decent crowd, Gail Benson was there and she looked fabulous. Another photeaux by the Times Pic.

They had cake and cookies again, and the infamous Sodexo fudge brownies and lemon bars.

Another neat thing is that I got to finally meet and chat with Glenn Cuillette.

And I got a photo with Coach Pierce's wife who I have such a crush on.

She is the cutest wife ever. I told her she needed to come watch me ride in Cleopatra since Mardi Gras is early this year and baseball doesn't start til later in February.

And I got to steal Coach Fritz' wife for a second and chit chat with her.

We chatted shopping since she admired my sweater and phone case. Lawd, she has no idea. Mrs. Hullabaloo shopping for Greenwave outfits is like a full time gig. I have a whole pinterest board for Tulane outfit shopping and everything. If you perused the board you can probably tell I have a Greenwave Mobile (VW combi truck) thing going on right now.

Anyways, I thought the #1 Jersey thing that they did was such a cute touch. First photeaux by Times Pic, second by Parker Waters.

The #1 Fritz

So, can I tell you I just cannot wait for the winning portion of my Greenwave career to begin? It's like the last 17 years were a dark nightmare and we are finally seeing sunshine.

Before the announcement that Coach Fritz was our guy I was getting umpteen texts about the pending Optioncapolypse that could potentially befall Greenwave Nation. I did stop and hesitate about that for like not at all, because we lose to the Option regularly so I wouldn't mind being the one embarrassing an opponent for a change. It is refreshing that we are hiring a guy who has a football philosophy from this century and he knows how to coach his scheme and has a staff that potentially would include a special teams specialist among them. There's not like a question mark that he maybe may have to go dig around amongst the Grad Assistants to paper scissor rocks it on who gets to coach things. No, those days are O-V-E-R.

Hallelu! I foresee lots of Booty Shaking by Mrs. Hullabaloo next fall. Woo hoo!