Welcome back, Mrs. Bad Fan here breaks her silence.
I almost asked Preacherman to just drive his minivan with all of us aboard straight into Bayou Lafourche last nite, but then I thought of you and how much y'all have missed me.
A group of us road tripped out to Thibodaux for our "away" baseball game with Harvard on the Bayou. Jesus, Joseph and Mary and all of the angels and saints: What is Going On Here?! We lost in the most humiliating fashion to a school who's press box is a card table set up on metal bleachers and a shed for a ticket window.
See, here's photographic proof. This is it. This is the expanse of Didier Field. Where we lost like fools.
I wish I'd snapped a picture of Graf in his hoodie trying to broadcast from that card table. It was hilarious.
Speaking of hilarious: On the way to Thibodaux Peggy was telling me the story about of Tulane's last away game at Didier Field which I did not attend. I was laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants. Did you know Coach Jones got kicked out of Nicholl's stadium? Twice! Apparently Coach Jones got hot about some call during the game, so the ump told him to leave. But as you can see this stadium is not exactly a fortress. So Jones snuck back in somehow into a corner somewhere in the stands and didn't even have a mustache disguise or potted fern to hide behind or anything. So he got discovered and walked back out to the bus, but Tulane fans made a human tunnel for him to leave through causing much aggravation to the Colonels and their fans. So afterwards a stupid LSU fan tries to taunt Big Mike because that's how they roll in Baton Rouge - you get aggravated with games and so you taunt the opponent's fans. So Big Mike turned to the sorry squirt and said "Yeah?! Well, I peed on your truck. So there." He didn't really, but OMG ha!
But alas...after the humiliation of the past 4 games, Coach Hullabaloo is going to refuse to go to Tuscaloosa for the series with Alabama and that makes me sad.
Anyways, I just have to say: All of you have been so kind and patient during my many months of silence following the end of that whackadoodle football season we had in 2012. After the umpteenth person asked about Hullabaloo Huddle last night and during our first weekend series at Turchin, I decided to just post already. My silence has been kind of on purpose, save a few outbursts on twitter. And save some some booty shaking over the Bowl Season Upsets that warmed my heart so. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank YOU Clemson and, well, um, thank you, begrudingly, Louisville. Bowl Season can make strange bedfellows of even some of us most hardened fans. But by the way, did you know that Tulane has a vastly larger endowment than Clemson?
So, anyways, what has mostly contributed to my silence has been the ever changing landscape of our future. Paying attention to and following conference negotiations, media deals and our recruiting inroads has been like running with the bulls. The fluctuations of each and every twitter newscycle has been like totally cray. At this point in our lives it even appears that the Big East is about to shred all sense of dignity and acquiese into selling it's name (!) to the Seven Whiny Babies also informally known as the Catholic 7.
Yes, you've emailed, texted and cornered me on social media for my opinions. I value that you value my ole little opinion so here is a summation:
To Whom It May Concern: Mrs. Hullabaloo approved of the Big East news. Made Lorenzo Doss' takeaway in the final game of the season a glimmer of the possibilities. But the shine's kinda worn off with the implosion that ensued and now that the 2013 schedule's been announced, plus with Robert Kelley being academically ineligible it forces me to remember that we are talking about Tulane here and not some mythical land of manna that has decided truly once and for all to get it's act together.
Plus, forgive me for not busting out a ticker tape parade about Aslut following us to the Big East and the whole excrutiating C7 Death Spiral. Although I did pause to do my best Vincent Price MUWAHAHA! that we were asked first over the remaining members of Ex-Cusa. Witnessing the apoplexy of the haters was d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s for the moments that it lasted.
But then, I was confronted with a most ratchet* development in Tulane Contemporary History: Our 2013 football schedule. It SO blows. I'm a schedule elitist y'all, so sue me.
*Ratchet is actually word y'all. It's the twitter bastardization of wretched. hilarous, right? kids!
Anyways, back to my regularly scheduled bitching: What has further cemented my gossip fueled and cynical opinions is that at the tail end of the conference capers and what not, Tulane's AD pipes up and finally "had something to say."
Ok, Listen up folks! A Member of TPTB Feels It Imperative To Announce, Above All Other Absurdity of Our Making, That - wait for it ........ Boisie State Is Inappopriate and Unreasonable.....
With the awkward level of crap heaved at Tulane over the winter from every corner of ESPN and national newspapers (and that unfortunate Marquette interview) about how we were responsible for the demise of the American College Conferences As We Know It for daring to accept the invitation to the Big East, this is what merited an outburst of outrage from Wilson Center: That Boisie State's PTB aren't shy or demure about strong arming a deal to benefit themselves. Look who's looking out for number one! How Shameful. And We Won't Stand For That Behavior!
Talk about a lost opportunity to Jujitzu all of the bad publicity into something positive. When's the last time we trended in the newscycles?
Anyways, moving on. I gotta reserve some ire for this Inappropriate and Unreasonable Football Schedule and this just most truly sad start to the baseball season. (But honestly, lost in all this if you can take a break from your wrist slitting appointments, Tulane Baskeball has been winning. Shhhh! though. We can't mention it or it will break the mojo. So everybody remain silent ok.)
2013 HOME Southernmost Alabama, ULM, Jack(who?)son State, East Carolina, North(of Denton) Texas, Aslut, UTEP
This is what an inaugural member of the SEC has come to: Road trips to Ruston!. I won't lie: I won't be shedding a tear about going to Boca Raton with Coach Hullabaloo, we're big fans of Miami. I can't wait to make all of my favorite restaurant reservations and hit up my favorite shops. The lone bright spot. And what's more is that with the awfulness that has befallen my Slugger Birds, we now have to turn our minds and get pumped up about opening up against South Alabama. boo.
The silver lining in all of this is my spiritual edification. In that this all makes my fog of disappointment about morning games last season just all the more tragic. God sure learned me to question a game time against Ole Miss. (What was I thinking??!!!) A sure lesson in gratefulness and humility, because even if TPTB scheduled 6pm games to make up for this ratchet-ness, it is not going to rectify a schedule packed 100% with directional schools. Lord, please forgive me and show us mercy. There is still time though for TPTB to Rise Up and walk back an agreement with one of these schools like Alabama and the Outhouse did to us. Our Lady of Football Schedules, pray for us. Amen.
Anyways, my dears: 7 months to plan so I just need to get over it and Echa Pa'Lante!