The Search for "Anonymous_Tulanian"

I am on a mission y'all. and if there's one thing you, my dear readers, may learn from reading my drivel is that I am stupid stubborn. It drives Coach Hullabaloo nuts what I do and say sometimes. But I am persistent when I get my brain on something. Anyways, I'll let y'all know what I am up to in a moment.

So things have been a little unsettled in the Hullabaloo world the past few days. Instead of the anticipation-laden weeks leading up to football season with pre-tailgate paloozas and new recipe sharing, new outfits and such, the tubes are just awash in some soul searching discussions about the state of our football program.

Under condition of anonymity (just kidding, I just say this cause it makes it sound like I did some official investigating, which I did not. Nope, just your everyday New Orleans gossiping to blame) Mrs. Hullabaloo has learned that TPTB has hired The Aspire Group to lead their ticket selling and marketng efforts. Outsourced that task to "Experts." The search for a brand new Ticket Guru and Ticket Intern is underway. An Aspire consultant was brought in to New Orleans and a roundtable held with different factions of the Greenie Dat Nation: students, local fans, former athletes, and faculty for concerns and suggestions.

Clearly, Mrs. Hullabaloo has too many unvarnished opinions, so I was not included in these discussions. But the discussion seemed to have been interestng nonetheless without Mrs. Hullabaloo's input. I don't know if Aspire invited members of the Tulane family who do not attend games, because I think that discussion may have been more interesting in lieu of hearing Greenie Dats beat a dead horse.

First of all: are you sitting down? Because you need to be sitting down for this. I found out that Big Mike is the holder of a bonafide Bachelor of Arts in English from The Tulane University of Louisiana. Holy Facundus, right? What's more: on a full scholarship. Yes ma'am! And is the son of a former Tulane football player. That his father was a football player wasn't such a shocking discovery as that Big Mike is a multi-faceted individual. See: this is what I love about die hard Greenie Dats. Who knew, right? When I called Coach Hullabaloo and continued the gossip wheel about the Aspire Roundtables, halfway through my discourse he interrupted me and said "Hold On. I'm still trying to get over that Big Mike was an English major." Talk about LMAO.

All of the usual laundry list items were brought up with these poor Aspire consultants who I don't know quite expected the barrage of dysfunction that entails being a member of the Greenie Dat Nation. See, I'm not the only one with a complaint or something to say. While I bleed olive and blue and love it fiercely, this is hard work not just to endure foolishness, but you've got to have a the nose of an ardvark to uncover cute Greenwave gear in the market place, and master gameday tailgating under challenging conditions. I swear I don't know how Coach Toledo is able to remain a gentleman at all times and refrain from running screaming down Willow Street. But I pray to sweet baby Jesus that I be blessed his demeanor and manners sometimes. Cause this frustration can get the better of Mrs. Hullabaloo on more than one occasion.

As you know from my earlier post, Ticket sales is just but a mere symptom of larger systemic issues that have been documented on the Greenie Dat internet tubes all over. I need not rehash.

So then next on the list is that it came to Mrs. Hullabaloo's attention that Outreach Tulane is the same day as our opening game against Southeastern. You can just imagine that Mrs. Hullabaloo was fit to be tied, especially after this stadium size and 90% fundraising business and the stirring up of emotions from the Roundtables. Yes, I know that I may end up straight in hell for considering that a football game has higher priority than carrying out God's work thru charity. But as a well-raised Texas Girl I feel I have got my priorities straight.

(I feel like a stern parent here lecturing an unruly child. You WILL go to Tailgate. You WILL watch the Game. and You WILL enjoy it. I don't care if you don't wanna. Hilarious, right? LOL!)

Listen, Mrs. Hullabaloo is refusing a FREE trip in November to the very beautiful Buenos Aires to attend a baby christening (for the lovely couple who ruined the 2009 UTEP game for me by deciding to get married during football season). There is nothing in this world that I love (besides my husband. and my fur babies. and yes, of course the Wave) than good food eatin' and good shopping. Buenos Aires has these in spades. You have to want to find bad food and bad shopping in Buenos Aires. Yes Mrs. Hullabaloo will not budge. I do not take extraneous vacations during football season. It is too critical. I had surgery once the morning of a game and went anyways.

Now, to be fair - the ever-patient and hardworking, Jason Potuto and staff at the Wilson Center is working with Outreach to get kids to the dome in time for a tailgate lunch and then we all need to collectively hope and pray that the chirren actually stay to support and cheer the team.

But this is the tide that Greenie Dats labor with. So you can understand how frustrating it is to compete against a volunteer program that pulls hundreds and hundreds of students, faculty and family out to go paint an elementary school. Yes I will burn in hell for feeling this way. These wonderful and blessed souls are moving heaven and earth to do good will towards man. But it has to be on game day? and I can't help but wondering why the same fervor can't be made to round up these crowds to go say "We Support You" to their fellow classmates and students who represent them. It is quite a pickle.

Not all Tulane faculty is dense in the football schedule department. Waveprofessora is an exceptional exception to the general rule. I do love her and her Tailgating Krewe.

But all of this leads me to the title of today's post. WHO IS THIS MISGUIDED FACULTY PERSON AT TULANE? click to read his Nola.com comments. I am on a mission my fellow Greenie Dats. You must help me find this individual and stage an intervention! Putting all of his misinformation aside, can you believe what he said about the athletes? Or that he is annoyed by the offer for Free Tickets (well, then give them to me!)? Talk about OMG.

So Picture this: Mrs. Hullabaloo hosting Anonymous_Tulanian at a Hullabaloo Huddle tailgating. Serving him one of our fabulous tailgate concoctions, some of Priscilla's world famous brisket. and watching him eat his words. Or better yet - filling up his office with Greenwave gift baskets until he can bear it no longer. Or taping his eyes open and forcing him to watch the 98 season DVD over and over. Or The Greatest Play Never Made (Tulane-LSU 2009). Or Alex Carlton kicking WIDE RIGHT!

I'm on a mission - I am gonna find this character and kill him with kindess! My goal is to one day do a SuperFan profile on Anonymous_Tulanian.

You just see.