Mike Is Right

UPDATE: So Mrs. Hullabaloo has learned that TPTB decided to work on some solutions to some items addressed in this post. The Universe Works in Mysterious Ways. I don't believe that when TPTB embarked on their current evaluation of ticket sales that they anticipated The Can Of Worms that they opened up, it's like the little dutch boy with his fingers in the levee. But TPTB have reached out to a spectrum of the Greenie Dat Nation and Things Are Happening. So stay tuned my little chickens.

I honestly cannot be bothered with journalistic pre-season speculation about this or that. So blog posts like this are few and far between for me.

'Cause first of all, my little pumpkins, I'm over Nakia Hogan's drivel. For those of you outside of the New Orleans bubble, your reaction is WHO? Yes, I agree - except that I live here and sometimes I can't avoid actually having to read him in the Times Pic.

Nakia can't even write a bit about "local" football camps without a) putting down Tulane and non-BCS schools or b) focusing the article as if he were employed by the rag in Baton Rouge.

And second of all, I just have to point out the obvious and tell it like it is: well over half of the keyboard jockeys who flaunt their sports illiteracy in print KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE TEAM WHICH THEY CHOSE TO DENIGRATE.

So the idiots who think they are so clever to write "Tulane deserves to be #119 in our countdown because they suck" without any actual knowledge of players or game plans - and like that Times Picayune writer who hosted the "Online Chats" for Tammy without bothering to even know the correct players names (like that little detail wouldn't be important in a "Chat with Fans"), are a complete waste of my time and effort.

and I don't have to point out the obvious that they are a complete waste of time for all other serious Greenie Dats who do amazing feats like know who the head coach is and do things like, I don't know: buy tickets and sit their behinds in seats season after season. And some of these Greenie Dats actually bring their friends and children and try to pass along the legacy of Tulane sports. A-ma-zing.

Sigh. So it's for these reasons why I write here with you my dear Greenie Dats. We're like the Greenie Dat Resistance. Or more aptly in our situation: the Greenie Dats enslaved in Scott Cowen's Egypt waiting for our Coaching Moses to lead us back to the Temple. Shalom Y'all.

A few weeks ago I - being the straightfoward person that I am - called out the owner of a Tulane Spirit Shop for not even being a member of TAF. If Doug Lichtenberger can get away with kicking back just $75, I think that every alumni could be asked to at least do the same. Especially those who run "Tulane Spirit Stores" but yet neither actually support the Wave nor write about them. (I have to add that while chastising him for being a slacker, I had pointed out that the Saints already have droves of bloggers, so he should focus his blogging energy on his alma mater.)

So our Facebook conversation went like this:

Mrs. Hullabaloo: Excuse me Mr. Spirit Store Owner I am calling you out.

Spirit Store Owner: I'm being interviewed for a Tulane alumni magazine. But your proposal sounds interesting. How do I become involved?

Mrs. Hullabaloo rolls her eyes inside because like I just don't understand how these little lambs lose their way in supporting their alma mater. But I trudge on and respond: Here's the link. You can donate $150 and be a member of the Football Excellence Club. Better Football=More Fans=More Spending at your Spirit Store. Genius, I know.

Spirit Store Owner: That is outstanding! Thank You. I am now an officially invested member of the Greenie Dat Nation.

I was, truly, ever grateful for his enthusiasm. Plus, this transaction took all of about 5 minutes of my day.

So how does this all relate to what Big Mike had to say to the Times Picayune today?

Here's the rub: Cowen has announced he is greenlighting the fundraising for a 25,000-30,000 seat stadium.

I preface by declaring that am SO struggling with looking a gift horse in the mouth because while I am thrilled it's even being considered: 25,000 seats is a joke. I think at the very low end 35,000 is the very least that makes sense to go through all the effort. Otherwise: just upgrade Gormley and let's call it a day. [y'all I apologize for back tracking. I will eventually get to my point]. 25,000 seats is like sending out Black Tie invitations to a wedding and then having a cash bar. at some place like the Crystal Plantation.

Why oh why can't Tulane be upfront, come up with a Good idea and follow it up with a Good plan. All of the ideas have to be absurd and shrouded in secrecy among The Powers That Be (TPTB). and the plans have to be rolled out backasswards. and include pissing off everyone who wants to help. and then when TPTB can no longer shovel the inertia, TPTB come to realize that they did it wrong and then change everything at the last minute to do it the way it should have been done from the beginning, but they've shaved off that sliver of the fan or alumni base who decide they'd rather tune out. And then the piece of resistance is to come out and blame the fans. Or blame Coach Rick Jones. Remember THAT episode?

So we're like WTF, I give up.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat with the next item to mess up.

This happens with everything. Oh Mrs. Hullabaloo has got some stories. So I will go through the stages of 1. my mind just blowing up cause what took place was really messed up. 2. Then I'll cool down. 3. I'll remember how much I can't stand purple and gold. 4. Army will shank a field goal or Nick Pepitone strikes out LSU to win 8-7 and so then 5. I shake it off and ready for the next spectacle.

We, the true Greenie Dat fans, have outlived so many generations of TPTB and horrid Coaching decisions, that when TPTB open their mouths it's like that Snoopy teacher. Ok, yes we hear your noise, we are simply trying to outlive another one of you. Please let us enjoy our Greenwave in peace and give Jason Rollins a raise. Thank you. That is all.

Which brings me back to today's absurdity of fundraising for the Football Stadium. This is what Big Mike had to say in the Times Picayune:

"....Tulane relies on private donations and won’t proceed without at least 90 percent (!) of the funding secured. That’s a point of contention among many fans, including local booster club president Mike Johnston of the Greenbackers.

“I’ve never heard of any construction project in the history of mankind and time going back to the pyramids that demands they have all the money upfront before they start a project,” Johnston said.

It’s great that you are going to go find the Yahoo! (co-founder David Filo) for $10 million, the old widow (Phyllis Taylor) with $100 million or whatever, that’s wonderful but if you started a campaign with the grass roots fans they do have and you say, ‘Hey, we want a $1,000 or we want $1,500 pledges,’ I think you would find people would respond to that. But they won’t do it,” Johnston said.

Johnston said Dickson might have better luck securing a $20 million naming donor — something even the New Orleans Saints couldn’t muster for the Superdome — if he could show that donor the vast amount of common man support first. [!!!]

Dickson has traveled all over the country, inserting himself in previously unknown waters to raise funds for the football project as well as the Tulane Athletic Fund. He’s found himself on television series sets in Los Angeles and in investment banking board rooms on the East Coast."

Yes, big money is important DUH. But this is like the Medievil Days of the Clinton Limousine Fundraising. (I'm a liberal and a democrat, get over it, so I'm allowed to comment on this, ok?)

Great TPTB, go out and find someone who could care less but is willing to throw a pile of money down a black hole. And then what?

TPTB needs to come up with a 50 State Plan of "vested fans" and not just a Hollywood and Wall Street Plan of people who have no clue and won't ever attend a game in their life. You need both. and strongly. Regardless of the size of the darn thing, you can't have 90% financed by .001% of the fan base and then lock out everybody else.

Case in Point: Mrs. Hullabaloo suggested an X's and O's Summer Camp years ago to open up to casual fans to come in and experience what being a greenwave athlete is about. So TPTB co-opted my idea (yes they did) and advertised it to donors only. For $250 or whatever it was you can come do this. Guess what? Nobody bit. So then the week before they opened it up to everyone and attendance improved, but still there were bunches of fans who didn't hear anything about it and would have loved to have gone.

It's this kind of mentality of how we got into our current challenge in the first place. Tulane relied on a pile of money of some old blue bloods, so it didn't matter if there weren't a zillion fans. Well then the blue bloods kicked the can and now there's an atrophied donor base. Well, how can that be?!

My example above of the Spirit Store owner is CLASSIC. If nudged properly, I bet you that he would have forked over $1000 for the stadium. and while you're at it Coach Lichtenburger might be persuaded to donate $85 to TAF instead of just $75. (I just think this is hilarious, and I'm sorry for ribbing on Coach L, but really? $75?) Why couldn't TPTB round up a Possee of Stadium Pioneers so we can all go out as ambassadors of the Greenie Dat Spirit and bundle $1000 donations from our individual networks? I'm a big believer that if you don't ask, you're not going to get. and if you say You Can't, well then You Won't.

I think this would require outside of the box thinking. And since TPTB only want to build a 25,000 seat box this is gonna be very interesting to see how it all pans out.

So anyways, I have some barbeque rib recipes for my next post, so tune in. Love you Greenie Dats!