From the Tulsa
By Eric Bailey,
The director of the Rice University band issued a public apology Tuesday for his group's halftime performance during Saturday's Tulsa-Rice football game.
The 10-minute show, titled "Todd Graham's Inferno," mocked the TU coach, who spent one season coaching at Rice before taking the Tulsa job. The "MOB" (Marching Owl Band) performed music and a skit that paralleled Dante's "Divine Comedy," and acted like it was searching for Graham.
It ended with the band's announcer calling Graham a "douche bag" over the Rice Stadium's public address system. [hell to the yeah!]
"I always apologize when people are upset. It's just what you owe people," Rice director Chuck Throckmorton said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "When you're being creative and putting something out there, you know what you meant..."
Tulsa athletic director Bubba Cunningham [no, really, his name is Bubba. How very Tulsa!], who declined comment on Tuesday evening [because stringing together coherent words in Tulsa is, well, a stretch], said earlier this week that his
"The intent wasn't to be mean or insulting," Throckmorton said. "It was to poke fun and be funny. [Mrs. Hullabaloo thought this was genius and very very funny] Since it came across different than that, then I certainly apologize."
Rice president David Leebron and athletic director Chris Del Conte were unavailable for comment. [Because they were too busy rewatching the show and laughing!]
The show was scripted by students and approved by Throckmorton, who has spent the last six years as Rice's band director. The group is known for its satirical humor and mocking nature of opponents. [yeah aslut, so get over yourself!] Throckmorton said the Rice student body went through waves of emotions when Graham departed for Tulsa after only one season and plans for last Saturday's show began in August.
The show's script went through circles of Hell, with the band playing music and pictures shown on the stadium video board. The finale was when the group apparently found Graham in the 10th circle of Hell -- at the University of Tulsa. [Mrs. Hullabaloo wholeheartedly concurs: expert description. spot on. Bra-vo!]
The show ended with the announcer saying, "You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douche bag." [L-eaux-L]
Throckmorton said he was surprised at the reaction to the words "douche bag." [as was Mrs. Hullabaloo!]
"It was sort of a mild insult . . . it was used to get the point across but not dirty," he said. "In all common usage I see, it's devoid of any literal meaning. I looked it up and it means someone that talks big about himself and that is a jerk.
"Going through the show writing process, I thought it was a mild vulgarity."
Throckmorton said he was surprised with the attention that the show received.
"Tulsa won the football game and still has their coach," he said. "This was his first time back since he left, and we gave him a rhetorical public flogging. Everyone expected it. It was as mild as we could make it with it still being funny." [yeah, but aslut is just lame and cannot appreciate your fine humor, they probably don't even know what Dante is. and don't use fancy words like rhetorical either. Mr. Bailey probably had to look that one up]
BELOW - the famous script!
Script and Photos taken from the Marching Owl Band website
A Dark Forest; "Where is Todd Graham?"
Announcer:The MOB decided it was high time to give Todd Graham a piece of our mind. We searched high and low, asking "Where the hell is Todd Graham?"
Lucky for us, we found Dante, wandering in a dark wood, who told us we should be asking: "Where in Hell is Todd Graham?"
(music: Dies Irae)
2nd Circle: Your Mom
Announcer:We knew he wasn't in Limbo (since he had no spine), so we started our search in the second circle of Hell. We didn't find Todd Graham among the adulterers, but your mom suggested we go lower.
(music: YMCA as played incessantly in hell)
4th Circle: Franchione in Hell
Announcer:We thought we might find Todd Graham in the fourth circle with the greedy and the avaricious, but he was nowhere to be found. However, we did find his shredded Rice contract — leading like breadcrumbs into the inferno — and there, gathering the pieces, was Dennis Franchione.
Music:Sell Out (by Reel Big Fish)
8th Circle: A River (of poo) Runs Through It
Announcer:Since he had made all those pretty speeches about how much he loved Rice and would never, ever leave, we were sure to find Todd Graham with the flatterers in the eighth circle, wallowing in donkey dung. But the damned said they'd had enough of his B-S.
Music:Cotton-Eyed Joe
Tulsa: Damnation
Announcer:And lo, The MOB descended to the ninth circle of Hell — home of traitors and the Prince of Lies. Yet, of Todd Graham, there still was no sign. Cautiously, we approached Satan to inquire.
Demon:Todd Graham?! That oaf knows better than to hope for the sweet release of my ninth circle.
Announcer:We thought him scum, to be sure, but did he deserve an eternity beyond Hell's greatest depths?
Demon:If you wish to see his fate... come.
Announcer:A twisted path led down to a door, blackened by flame, inscribed with three frightful words: Welcome. To. Tulsa.
Music:Louie, Louie
Closing
Announcer:You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douchebag.
Ha! I don't know about you, but that Welcome to Tulsa certainly scares me! oh no, endless corn eating! Ha!
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