Tailgating Rules

from Memphis Commercial Appeal. Coach Jim Pittman and two Greenwave football players graciously greeting Miss Liberty Bowl, Linda Thompson (future Miss Tennesse, girlfriend of Elvis and mother of Brandon Jenner)


I ran across this today

Virginia Tech VTcageTailg8ors Official Tailgating Etiquette

which I found hilarious. Luckily we have not gotten to the point of being out of hand at Tulane tailgating to warrent so many "official" rules created/enforced by individual tailgating clubs.

So I decided to comment upon them. What do you think?

P.S. This list is from the VTCageTailg8ors (I promise it is not mine. I do, however, claim the snarky comments).

1. Everyone is welcome to come and tailgate.
(mmmm...I don't know about that. We are snobs and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that. We have a weird sense of humor, so you need to have a very thick skin to fit in. You also need to be a foodie, this is a deal breaker on any invitation to join the Hullabaloo Huddlers. Also, trespassing on our tailgating space is verboten, that is some serious lack of manners to just squat in Peggy's Patio).

2. Everyone needs to help out by bringing food or financially assisting. It's not fair for a few individuals to always supply/prepare food for everyone. Suggested contribution if tailgating is $10 per game.
(Lord have mercy, this is New Orleans. When have you ever run out of food brought and generously shared at a gathering? I am usually the opposite and asking guests not to bring one more morsel. We tend to prepare obscenely generous quantities like it's the last meal for an army and share with strangers and friends alike. Most NOLA folk's tailgating supplies include mandatory ziplocks so that everybody can please take leftovers home with them, or you'll be reheating jambalaya until next football season. I can assure you that I will not show this list to Coach Hullabaloo or this last part of the rule will trigger some stupid idea on curtailing my tailgating spending. Seriously. Coach H used to host "Rent Parties" in college. You buy a keg of beer and then charge admission to your apartment (!). I was mortified to learn of such practices. I can assure you none of the Fiji, Sigma Chi, or Alpha Tau Omega boys I fraternized with EVER charged for their parties. )

3. Drinks out of the round silver cooler and kegerator are for everyone.
(fair enough, although we in New Orleans should have AA on speed dial, so there is always plenty of adult beverages to share).

4. When you arrive at the tailgate, chairs will be in the trailer. Chairs that have a red label around them are reserved chairs. Those that have a silver label are for general/public use. When you leave the tailgate, put your chair back into the trailer where you found it. You may store your tailgating chairs in the trailer, please make sure you put your name on the chair.
(what if I wanted to be ornery and use a fuscia label or something? anyways, all New Orleaneans keep folding chairs in their trunk ready at a moments notice because every weekend is a different festival, parade, game, crawfish or shrimp boil etc.)

5. We will start putting things back in the trailer approximately 45 minutes prior to kick-off of each game, PLEASE HELP WITH THE CLEANUP. Trailer doors will be locked 30 minutes prior to kick-off.
(I hope the designated driver is in charge of watching the time, cause we are usually having too much fun to be timing things with such precision).

6. Alcohol consumption is acceptable, but stupidity/out of control is not.(my one and only LSU game in which they were not playing Tulane, Coach Hullabaloo and I left about 3 minutes into the first quarter. Drunk is normal. Idiots are unacceptable. This one woman kept spitting daiqiuiri while screaming incomprehensibly while this other dude kept jumping around screaming "Who Let the Tigers Out?! Hoot! Hoot! Hoot!" to the chant of the Baja Men. ummm...quelle annoying. and they were both wearing jorts, ugly tee-shirts and crocs. which was both stupid and out of control just right there.)

7. No Smoking or cursing in the immediate area of the tailgate as we try to respect everyone
(also, no peeing on our cars. That applies to you Mesdemoiselles Co-Ed Underclassmen who get too drunk to stumble to the ample number of portolets paid for by Tulane. Because we aren't shy and will call you out and you will look stupid since everybody is watching you flash your cooter)

8. Please be respectful of everyone around. (If the jerk alert goes off, you will be asked to leave)
(ahem, COUGH, UofH and UCF peeps)

9. VTCAGETAILG8ORS is not responsible for any lost/stolen/damaged items left in the trailer.
(Koozie has got some stories to tell about some jacktard underclassmen that up and took our things during one of the games. So now everything just gets stored in cars and brought back out after the game.

10. Please RSVP by 12:00 pm Wednesday of each week if you plan on attending the tailgate for that Saturday. We want to ensure we have enough food for everyone.
(these tailgaters have clearly never received a Mrs. Hullabaloo mailed invitation creation to have to be giving out reminders about RSVPs)

11. If you see something that appears odd in or around the trailer, please question.
(at the Gormley tailgating, we caught a student's father come up and start making himself a bloody mary like we knew him or something. Friends and Friends of Friends are clearly always welcome, but if we don't know you, ummm...stay away. and much less make yourself a drink. We almost thought about instituting a bracelet policy. But usually we are all well-mannered and you know, make sure to introduce new peeps to all the regular Hullabaloo Huddlers so that we know who is who)

12. If you don’t see something, just ask.
(I do not see a special teams coach. or a new offensive play caller. while I'm at it, I don't see an indoor practice faility or an on-campus stadium)

13. If you see an area of improvement let's discuss...
(see #12)

14. Everyone needs to attempt an Irish Car Bomb during the season :)
(I raise you that Irish Car Bomb and give you The Koozie White Russian)

15. Have fun and Go Hokies!
(phew, I was going to ask if FUN was allowed here)

The Koozie White Russian
Extra Large Stadium Cup
Drink Ice (VERY important, regular cooler ice is just sub-par)
Browns Dairy Half+Half
Whipped Cream in a Can
Vodka
Kahlua