Hawaii on Crack

or as Coach Hullabaloo has been saying: this is some Crazy A$$ Place.

First, I have to say: I love Hawaii. Love it. Love it. We definitely saved the best for last, and I say that with complete honesty.

The seedy, unkept areas kinda put a damper on the experience, but once you get past that: it truly is gorgeous here. I share these thoughts with you while watching the sun rise over Diamondhead. The sky is turning from onyx to sapphire blue. A supple balmy breeze is skimming around me like feather massage. Waikiki hasn't started bustling yet. It is just delightful.....and Channing Tatum is calling for me from our canopied bed - okay, okay, okay, Mrs. Hullabaloo is getting carried away ha! but really, Hawaii is stunning.

It makes me wish that Hawaii were in our conference (as well as keeping Utep despite Mike Price. Because I really loved how unique and "autentico" El Paso was - it was such an adventure! and you know how Coach and Mrs. Hullabaloo love them some adventures!)

How awesome would it to be able to come here to Oahu every other year? Heck, Hawaii just traveled to play Tech in Ruston, you'd think they'd be up on coming to New Orleans. And I would just love to do a cute polynesian themed tailgate with pineapple fried rice and satay. (Don't you just love that idea?!)

But anyways, back to what you came here to read. The Lowdown on the game. Y'all I can only describe it like being on crack or taking a hit of something if I actually knew what any of that was like. It was complete sensory overload and then some. Like a SNL Variety Show being performed amidst a college football game. And I say this in all earnesty despite living in a place like New Orleans!

First a preview: Coach Hullabaloo and I didn't make it to the Thanksgiving Luau, but we heard all about it 4000 miles away. When we got to the hotel Coach Hullabaloo shared an elevator with a player and when Coach asked him about the Infamous Tulane Luau, his eyes got as big as saucers - it wasn't until the player confirmed that Coach Hullabaloo was not some official from the University that he spilled the beans. Apparently a good time was majorly had by some, including a staff member we'll call Slye Lyka. Slye went toe up drunk at the Luau, but not before giving a rabble rousing speech about winning the game that shocked players and family members alike. It sounded like a classic moment and gawd I wished I had been there to see it.

So now back to the game: Hawaii is not your traditional crisp NCAA college town atmosphere with spirit shakers and cute gameday dresses. It's kinda more Jersey Shore than The Grove - it was telling how rough Hawaiians are by how many cops (not Security, I mean COPS!) there were. (As we were walking around the crowd during halftime Coach shared this story with me from his Marine Corps days when his ship docked in Hawaii. Something about an ill-fated bus ride to the wrong part of town and having to elude a gang of Samoans hellbent on picking a fight, an overturned Suzuki Samuri was involved)

The concessions at the stadium reminded me of a bustling street scene from Bangkok. Skewered pineapple pork satay, Teriyaki burgers, Huli Huli Chicken - and enough beer stands to lubricate decades worth of Mardi Gras. Steinlager, Heineken, Nutbrown Ale, Bud, Mikes Hard Lemonade, on and on and on. And y'all, there wasn't a Hawaiian that I didn't see clutching two 32 ouncers and washing them down in one gulp. It's like a dream sequence or soemthing where you notice one thing and then you notice a thousand of the same thing. It was a sea of Hawaiian beer drinkers. Bourbon Street would be scared of these people.

Earlier when I was assembling my cute GameDay outfit, I had found the perfect green and blue necklace while spending Coach Hullabaloo's money on Kalukaua Avenue to go with the perfect adorable green and blue tropical flower dress I had found back home - I was just loving how cute it all was. And then wouldn't you know God decides to humble me by sending a monsoon storm to the Aloha Stadium.

I have to say though - how awesome is this shirt?!


Belongs to a SuperFan who won the trip by being a lifelong TAF donor. I am coveting this shirt now.

Anyways, this monsoon just didn't just come and go. It would scream in, taper off, I'd uncover my head from the damn rain poncho I had to buy then the annoying drizzle would start back up again, winds would pick up and wham-o the deluge would ensue. You know that scene in Forrest Gump where he's describing the rain in Vietnam. Ok, that was us in Hawaii's stadium. We were sitting with the parents I'll call Fun Couple. Daddy Fun Couple sat through that whole thing with a towel on his head. I don't know how he did it.

So in the middle of this crazy weather situation happening, everyone in the upper decks of the stands would shred their game day programs (that weren't magazines, they were like copies of The Gambit) into confetti and toss it out in the wind so that the entire inside of the bowl was snowing gameday programs.

- I hope that I am building up this image for you because being here in Hawaii to watch the game live was something else -

I don't know if this was Hawaiian hospitality or what, but they put the visiting section in the endzone next to the UH Marching Band. And the UH Drumline. And their dance team, The Rainbow Dancers. And the "Vili The Warrior" Hawaii Mascot, who had his own polynesian drum corps.


With the monsoon, the confetti, the dance team and all the fights breaking out, nevermind the game - you didn't know where to put your eyes from one second to the next.

And y'all. That dance team.

Here's a pre-game picture of the Rainbow Dancers visiting the Tulane Tailgate.


Very innocent and sweet at first glance, yet eyebrow raising in that peephole top.


Those calendars they were selling (I can only imagine the car wash fundraisers here) were Holy Inappropriate-ness in my opinion and portent of things to come.

Coach Hullabaloo woke up still laughing this morning about The Variety Hour at Aloha Stadium. He started joking that they were probably all with chiropracters this morning. He even started imitating them by pretend whipping his hair around - I wish you could hear his "swishing" soundtrack he added as he tried some signature UH Dance Team moves. (Oh, my Coach Hullabaloo!). But y'all: those girls did not stop! They musta had a case of Red Bull each.

One minute the Rainbow Dancers are doing their interpretation of So You Think You Can Dance in that precarious peephole top, then they're lining up side by side and doing like a showdown of who can leap the best - you know one by one coming out like a game of Red Rover and doing leaping pirouettes and then - ouch- landing onto the ground in a split. Then the UH Marching Band would kick it into high gear for the next number. All while the confetti, the monsoon kicking up, and Vili, the Hawaiian Mascot, was doing his war dance thingie and our Zach Davis is bringing it back to the red zone on an interception. It was balls to the wall nuts.

This is an old 2006 video of the Rainbow Dancers amidst confetti to bring this to you as vividly as I can


The UH Drumline and the Rainbow Dancers didn't give it a rest the entire game. They just booty shaked on the sideline, marched right out and did their half time booty shaking in long form and booty shaked off the field to booty shake some more until the clock said 0:00. It was beyond impressive. I can not stop writing about it.

So towards the end of the third quarter, two fights break out simultaneously. To our right and to our left.

To our right this group of Hawaii fans (guys) I think stole a pizza or did something askew, because another Hawaii fan ("Hawaii Fan B") called the cops over and whatever sin it was, Hawaii Fan B called the perp ("Hawaii Fan A") a "F*&cking A##hole" (yes! Hawaii Fan B said this!) to the cops and well that was sufficient accusation for them. Hawaii Fan A was handcuffed up and literally dragged out the stadium.

The picture I have below is just when it was just 2 cops. Because Hawaii Fan A made himself dead weight and the two cops had to call for backup, so then there were like 7 of them at the scene.

Meanwhile Hawaii Fan A's friends are all video taping the scene with their phones and screaming "Pepper Spray Him!" and laughing at the developing drama (! Yes, they were doing that to their friend! what friends!!!). Hawaii Fan A is waving his Hang Ten Foam Fingers at the crowd and his friends (how funny were those foam fingers?) as he is literally being dragged out the stadium OccupyHawaii-style.

To our left, one of the Tulane Coach's wives had had enough of the Peanut Gallery comments from one of the player's parents who are just as fed up as the rest of the fanbase on the playcalling this season. So she got up and started screaming at the player's family that her husband had experience either playing or coaching 2 NFL Teams (? it was all happening so fast I can't remember her tirade. Besides, I can only do so much multi-tasking). She was causing such a stir that the cops who were tending to Hawaii Fan A and his drama, notice the commotion and come over to start putting the kibosh on her! OMG, it was high drama unfolding because I thought she was about to get handcuffed and whisked away. Luckily I think she identified herself and explained her beef and they let it be.

And all the while y'all the UH Dance Team, the Rainbow Dancers, didn't miss a beat like all this commotion is normal - shown here doing their conga-style Kick Line number while Hawaii Fan A is being dragged away.


This was by far the most entertaining Tulane Game of the Toledo-Hutson Era since we were 9-7 in the first half with LSU at the dome in 2007. It deserved a Tony or an Emmy or something. Jamar Thomas with that insane kick return run, Zach Davis interception, and another interception. All to the tune of the Hawaii 5-0 Score/Soundtrack by the UH Marching Band and their Rainbow Dancers (which was cute in my opinion that they included that in the repetoire). Yeah, I wished that the Wave could have pulled out a win, sigh. But this season is what it is and the only thing I can do is witness, enjoy as it unfolds and report back to you.

At the end of the game, Vili came over and then another Hawaii Superfan came over and thanked us for coming. I was honestly just grateful for the Magic Carpet Ride to have pulled back into the stop.

So I'm off to the beach now, R&R in Hanama Bay.....Mazel my petit choux!

Greenbackers in Hawaii

More to come, but here's a shot of the Greenbackers and Rick Dickson at the Tulane Tailgate here in Hawaii.

Aloha or bust!

With minimal threats to mutually divorce each other, we are packed with thanksgiving dinner in ice chests headed out for our Hawaiian holidays via Dallas.

Thanksgiving with Momma and Poppa Hullabaloo to give thanks that Wave Basketball is on a roll, the old man has opened his wallet for a real coach, and thankful for all that is Olive and Blue. Amen.

And then off to Hawaii for 6 days.

Tulane Alumni Office is hosting a tailgate in the Aloha Zone before the game Saturday, which I am totally looking forward to.

My friend Sugar gave me some recommendations and I'm sharing them with you! Sugar says to get Mai Tais at The Royal Hawaiian Hotel. The lagoon at Ko'Olina is a great non touristy spot for swimming. Duke's Waikiki serves tasty dinner and fish. The Hilton Resort is the perfect spot to catch the sunset. And a former Miss Hawaii can be seen at House Without a Key.

Sugar says I also should not miss shopping on Kalakaua Avenue.

Oh, so much to be thankful for!

Mazel Tov my petits choux!

The Weekend From Hell

Ha! It SO was, on so many levels....

Firsties, The Doberge Conspiracy in Reverse TM. I'm trade marking that term y'all, for real.

I know y'all were clamoring about my Rice Update earlier and I apologize. But I was unavoidably detained by gossipping duties. And Y'all: Shizzle. Was. Hitting. The. Fan. In the Greenie Dat Nation this weekend.

ALL kinda ways....

So it kinda all started going downhill for me when Wilson Van Hooser's TD was called back for a penalty. Oy! How many of those must we endure? Robert Kelly's TD taken away at Utep. Xavier Rush's TD taken away at Syracuse. That incomplete pass taken away for the Syracuse game...and then this final indignity! Especially when they were holding ALL DAY and we were the ones getting stuck with penalties. How does that work exactly? That's what I wanna know.


These photos have nothing to do with anything other than I took them at the game and I enjoyed them. So I am sharing.

(and then I just have to mention.....did y'all notice how those hurricane-force winds would die down just in the knick of time whenever the Rice kicker would boot the ball for field goals? !!!!! Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, What did we do wrong? Please let me know when our Karmic Debts have been paid in full!)

Ok, so then we are wrapping up to head home, we are sitting on the bus completely unaware of the impending fracas which would be The Flight Home. Football Operations peeps come on the bus and announce that our usual Modus Operandi* of getting off the bus on the tarmac and whisked away onto the plane unencumbered isn't happening because for some reason the Southwest Charter is making us actually go in to the Houston Hobby Airport, go through regular security and then meet up at the gate. All 100 of us or whatever. Yeah. That went sideways.

*Look at me acting like a professional here. I've done exactly 3 trips with the Team, and I am totally inflating this for my ego. ha!


....Yes, I have to point out here that the Rice Marching Owl Band are weird. In addition to these "tongues" hanging out of their tubas, they also zip lined this mannequin into their half time performance from the stands. It promptly broke in two upon impact from smash landing onto the turf...... I didn't get it. But, I digress....

Ok, so a friend of ours whom I'll call Matlock immediately starts freaking out and unpacking his laptop case, combing through each and every pocket because, he, like the rest of us tossed his luggage underneath the bus. Which means that his car keys now may or may not be held hostage with the other luggage underneath the bus and now he won't be able to just take his bags and get in his car at the New Orleans airport when arriving at the other side. This is because the luggage would immediately get put onto the buses and only unloaded out at Wilson Center. Prior to this his cell phone fell and black-screened completely. So that was a downer also.

So then we get to the general people Kiss and Fly departure curb at the airport, every man for himself ambles off the buses. There's no escort from Southwest waiting or nothing so it is like hearding cats trying to figure out where to go. This way, no that way. Up these escalators, down the other escalators. Down one hallway, Oops, turn around to backtrack. Oy. Then finally. Make it to Security.

Ok, well the players normally get gatorade or whatnot before getting on the plane with their boxed dinner. So now Security is all kinds of up in arms because everyone's got liquid. And toothpaste in their backpack. Cause don't you know Al Qaida has chosen to infiltrate the Tulane Football team (the weakest point in our national security system) in order to stage a terrorist plot. So what was supposed to be a 7:15 take off, now is approaching 8pm. I was dying.

So we get to Nola and Matlock has decided that his keys are most definitely lost so his car now definitively needed to spend the night at Moisant. Coach and Mrs. Hullabaloo were happy to bail him out on a ride home. Except that -again- the plane gets to Nola and there's no instructions so everyone starts filing out on the jetway into the Terminal and we're told to go back. So everyone files back onto the jetway where we stand, trapped, for another 20 minutes-half hour until someone else can give us instructions on what was happening.

In the interim, we're getting conflicting reports about exiting the terminal vs. going back towards the exit stairs to the tarmac. Back and forth we shuffle. In the midst of it, a staff member who was behind Coach Hullabaloo was chatting, not paying attention that the line of people had stopped and she bumps into him - but has her hand cupped about to get something out of her bag or something and so she GRABS my husband's ass instead.

OMG, we railed on her! We were so slap happy from the craziness of the trip, that Coach Hullabaloo starts joking with her about grabbing his butt, so then I embarass her further by going ghetto and telling her to get her paws off my man. There was about to be a cat fight. up. in. here! Players were making a circle around us - like I would really claw at her or something. Hello, I'm a Newcomb girl, really. I have a modicum of upbringing. It was so funny though.

Earlier in The Flight Home we told Matlock that these things happen in 3's and so hopefully 1. losing the game 2. his cell phone committing suicide and 3. losing his keys WERE IT and nothing worse would happen.

Well, no, it wasn't.

Up until Saturday, we had a lock on Coach Rod. So we thought. At first, when a Mountaineer Fan mentioned to me over the summer that Rich Rod would most likely be Tulane's next head coach, I thought he was nuts. But then I got a text at the UH game from a friend that I'll call SchmAl. SchmAl apparently heard from a former Greenie Dat coach that RichRod - who was up in the suites during the game - was accepting our offer. Yay, much jubilation in the Greenie Dat Nation ensued. It was a happy two weeks while contract details were being fined tuned and Tammy and the Mackel Twins remained in the dark not having a clue.

When we finally got home Saturday after Rice I start seeing some twittering that Arizona was now in the mix. WTH. So then it's a fierce gossip tree to try to sort this out all day Sunday. Sunday night we are confident that the Arizona thing was just a false rumor, everything is fine - Coach Rod was coming and an announcement was being planned for Tuesday. A friend whom I'll call Mayor has a son who went to AU. Mayor's son has another friend currently still in Tucson who works in a capacity close to the Wildcat athletics - he was told by the AU AD on Sunday that Rod accepted our offer and was headed to Nola for the Tuesday presser.

Well, how dumb were we not to see this one coming from the perennially-fickle Rich Rod: Arizona uped the ante, Rod accepted and their AD flew to Michigan before he could change his mind. Again.

The Doberge Conspiracy in Reverse.*

*for those not familiar with this famous story. In 1998 Coach Rod was lead to believe by Scott Cowen and Sandy Barbour up until the night before the press conference that the job was his. Except that overnight Sam Scelfo of Gambinos Bakeries talked Scott Cowen into hiring his brother Chris, a lowly OL coach at the time, instead. Voila The Doberge Conspiracy. At 6 am, Coach Rod shows up to the Wilson Center wearing a green jacket (where does one find a green jacket I ask?) and tie - only to read in the Times Picayune that Scelfo was being announced. He was literally left at the altar and humiliated.

So Coach Rod waited 13 years to stick it to Cowen, except that I am really pissed about this because in his quest for revenge and glory he stepped all over some very important members of the Greenie Dat Nation. And that would be the members of the 1998 Team whom I love dearly and who went full court press in rushing Rod to be our Coaching Messiah. Even going so far to coordinate sneaking Coach Rod via kitchen back doors and service elevators to elude the Mackel Twins attempt at trying to land their first story. Now Arizona fans are left scratching their heads wondering how the heck they got stuck with this choice and we are left emotionally bruised.

My final words on this and I'm over it. Coach Rod was tailor made for a comeback via CUSA and Tulane. He has the #1 recruiting ground at his disposal, a spread offense conference that would be a cinch to dominate, an easy schedule, and an adoring fan base that would have given him an enormous homecoming and an even lengthier honeymoon period.

But really, y'all I feel that whatever is supposed to happen is gonna happen and I have faith. I'm over him.

Really I am. Besides, how cute is this picture?


(a little league in Houston named themselves the Tulane Greenwave and they have a cheerleader. And they came to the game, it was cute.)

Oh the possibilities!

No I'm not talkin bout the Doberge Consiracy in reverse that was recently inflicted upon us.

This beauty is $99 at Rouse's and just screamin to be painted and bedazzled with TU flair.

Anyways, funny stories about our Rice weekend forthcoming. They'll turn your frown upside down. I promise!

Rice Rice Baby

A1A beachfront avenue! Ok....that doesn't quite work in this scenario, but whatever: Coach Hullabaloo and I are here in Houston with the team in our final mainland game of the Hutson-Toledo era. and Big News: we'll also be in Hawaii next week!

I'm preemptively writing now cuz we fly back today immediately after the game - literally they load us all up on the buses and zip straight to the airport. So I'll do a write up on Sunday since the Saints have a bye (just warning yous in advance cause y'all just race on to the webs and spike up the traffic here like a nano second after the game and I need some time to collect my thoughts).

Well it's a big day here in Houston regardless cause College Gameday is covering the SMU Houston game across town. Tis is a mini reunion of CUSA here in Houston. Hope Tulane brings it and we can therefor piggyback some media to counteract all of Tammy's bull the past few weeks. And all the blah blah about Old Man Keenum and his Cooters (aren't y'all like over it? a 40 year old up for the heisman! just kidding, he's not 40, but dernit I think I was still in college when he started playing).

And listen y'all what I want to counteract most: our woes this season are not cause we don't match up. No ma'am. Cuz after riding elevators with team members, our guys are most definitively "bigger, faster, stronger" (remember that ditty?). I was like WHOAH when I was standing next to them on the elevators. And the funniest thing was the plane ride. We took a Southwest charter and somehow the seating got bungled so instead of ample room allowing 2 to a row, everyone got crammed in side-by-side like sausages. To the flight attendant's credit, they did play our fight song over the speakers to get us riled up.

So it's almost time for kick off, so OccupyRice y'all! Let's finish strong!

Ice Hockey, Ice Hockey Hockey

Word. Tulane has a Division 3 Ice Hockey team. My next project! Squeal!

I just love, LOVE hockey. Well, in theory I love hockey. I don't like follow it professionally so don't call me out for being completely deficient in the hockey knowledge department.

I just heart trash talking, aggressive beat downs. So Hockey fits the New Orleans nature to a "T."

Coach and I used to geaux to the New Orleans Brass games when they occupied the New Orleans Arena. With all this dreariness of the NBA lockout I wish that they had just left the Brass alone. Much more fun, and the only drama was the performance on the court. It was awesome.

So I am rounding up a possee to hit the road to Decatur, Alabama for the last weekend in January to catch Tulane "Stick It" to Mississippi State.

Decatur appears to be near Huntsville, Alabama, so I shall double dip the trip and stop by Jim N Nick's Barbeque in Birmingham (sooo good!). Men's basketball is away that weekend, Women's basketball is off, so it's totally a win-win.

If you would like to support some smashmouth hockey - check em out here.