Talk about going "cold turkey" after a high. We got blow-ed by the "Snow" birds (get it, ha ha). Yes, the drug jokes abounded yesterday. a 3rd and 1, was 3rd and a blunt. "Just Say No" etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
But lawd have mercy, I really did wake up this morning and last night really did happen. And I really did spend the night at my monster in law's to come see this. It was not a drug fueled nightmare.
Mrs. Hullabaloo's list of things that totally blow:
1. Being more specific when requesting a takeaway derby.
More takeaways by Lorenzo Doss, please.
....Oh, but for lack of clarification.
2. Forgetting My Roll Wave Button. In my rush to get to the game, I left behind my Roll Wave button in our hotel room.
I coulda/shoulda dispatched Coach Hullabaloo back to get it. I even had the sinking feeling at tailgating that I didn't have it and bad things would happen and I tried to brush off the feeling. I should have known better! I'm going to get it permanently implanted onto my body. Or tattoo'd. Or both.
The one on the right I'ma tie to the back of my bumper and drag it all the way back to New Orleans, run over a few times in my driveway and then torch in a ceremonial ritual. My original plan was to wear it proudly to yesterday's game and to Rice in a few weeks. But evil is attached to it now so it must be destroyed.
3. EX-CUSA REFS!!!! Grrrr.....
You cannot not assess a penalty. Or review a review! Lawd have mercy do Ex-Cusa refs blow. Zach's daddy was yellin "HEY REFS, ARE YOU SMOKING SOMETHING!" .....har har
4. Tammy Nunez patronizing articles. Hula skirts and coconut dreams? Lorenzo Doss impersonator? I aint' sayin, but I am just sayin. She just loooooves all her witty little sayings she gets to come up with for when we lose. I still can't believe how awesomely funny she thought she was last year when she was caught off camera at the Coach's press conference bashing the Greenwave and giggling about how John Curtis could beat Tulane. She's just sooo funny y'all!
I'ma start calling her Sporty Nunez like that turd reporter from Cinderella Man. I can picture her writing "The only time the Wave was on it's feet was walking into the stadium...." this would so be something only Sporty Nunez could write.
4. Tropical Stadiums. Ok. weather patterns in tropical stadiums suck. I'd love to blame the weather on our interception rally, but I can still complain about it. It was absolutely sweltering and stagnant hot the first half, but nothing we aren't used to in September. And then just like that at the half it was like hurricane gale winds kicked in during the entire FAU momentum swing. Like weather was the FAU 12th man. Only to die down into a peaceful evening breeze as the final minutes ticked off the clock and our loss looming over us like a bad hangover. It was completely biblical. And reminiscent of that completely cray game we had in Hawaii.
Another thing like Hawaii was the FAU dance team. Lawd. Cover your husband's eyes.
The twerking they incorporated into their "Shake Your Groove Thang" halftime routine should have come with a "suitable for mature audiences only" warning. I am serious. Big Fredia woulda banned it for inappropriateness.
5. The demise of this game day maxi dress. The colors are so perfect. Now I can never wear it again.
I wore this dress to the 2011 Hawaii game. And now I am definitively never wearing it again (well, ......maybe. but I would agree with Coach Jones on classifying it as "ineffective" and therefor banished from ever seeing the light of day ever again. Like the "Roll Wave Roll" cheer).
6. All Access and 106.1. Just sayin! I hope the Greenies don't give up on whining and complaining to TPTB. A proper football team deserves to meet at least minimal standards in the media/broadcast department. Enough with the mickey mouse operation with rabbit ears, chewing gum, and coffee cans tied with string to only then get cut out by a high school game, puh-lease. Or 50 minutes of commercials during a 60 minute radio show. THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL.
For as small as a fan base as we are, we don't ask for much: a decent team, a decent broadcast. and a decent bowl game while we're aksin'. (ok. ok. I'm pushing it, I know.)
7. Homecoming "Miracles". I know that the team and the coaches are eager to accept blame and move on, but I need to work this out of my system a bit. BECAUSE I WAS THERE IN 2007 AT ARMY! Sitting in those crap seats in the endzone. Leading 17-7 and then losing!!!
This should be a glorious morning in South Florida, except that here we are. Reminiscing about how we managed to hand a downtrodden team a homecoming "miracle" at the end of the game. Coach L's wife and I were just so smug at tailgating laughing about that ruinous "Michie Miracle" officiating that handed Army that win (he was out of bounds!!!!). Clearly tempting fate and the impending doom that was to befall us in a few short hours. And against a team that didn't exist a few shorts years ago. We are getting good at that.
Now there's going to be all these "Miracle at FAU Homecoming" videos to look forward to for posterity. Yay!