White Trash

When I started commenting out in the internets, letting my thoughts be known far and wide, it was mainly to salute this time honored tradition of intense humidity, parking lot hostessing, and my beloved Greenwave football, which I love so dear.

From time to time, Mrs. Hullabaloo might not be restrained in her assesments. I want all of my dear readers and fans to feel my raw and unfiltered enthusiasm for Game Day at Tulane Nation. Moses needs to add to the tablet "An Opportunity for a Party Should Never Pass." No matter how poorly your coach performs. and Moses, please also maybe add a short footnote in there about gossipping about our opponents. You know, that it's Okay. We aren't evil.

Apparently, the Houston Cooter fan who trolls around on our boards was so BURNED I had the nerve to point out the obvious and call their team trashy - a year ago - that he had to come back in 2009 and post this little gem. Just for little ole me, imagine!

"MsHullabaloo, I promised you this would be named after you for all of you derogatory spew months back. I quit rooting for Tulanes (sp) return to greatness and now hope the program goes belly up... Too bad the coogs didn't run it up... Live in misery MsHullabaloo... :D"

I welcome his hate mail because - despite Mr. Cooter Fan's attempted adeptness at social etiquette by using the neutral "Ms" - his message shows not only his neglect of proper punctuation and failure at posessives: it also shows just how classless those trashy Cooter fans really are. Well maybe he typo'd and missed the "r." I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Bottom line is this: They can pretend by trying to hide their sharpie eyebrow fan-ettes back at home. But they aren't going to fool Mrs. Hullabaloo that they might have a modicum of upbringing and pedigree.

I am time tested. Mrs. Hullabaloo was a rush adviser for her sorority. I can spot a fake before she even rounds the corner into our clapping parlors.

I have to say, I did not hear one peep out of those guys at tailgating and I had high hopes for game time (unlike wheelchair man at baseball who we almost rumbled with when he started cheering Hullabaloo). We did have some toothless people who claimed to be locals randomly come by our tent and announce that they were friends or family of someone with the Cooter marching band and that's why they were in red. I'm not sure if Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo looked like they cared or somehow appeared to be the official welcoming committee, but we nodded politely and then, you know, talked about them after they left.

Sadly, I think they put a hex on our tent, because a wind up and came and blew it in half. Bye bye Tent. We mourned you so. Worthy of a Jazz Funeral. Ye Who Hosted So Much Glee and Daylight Drunkeness. Ah, but just one more sacrifice to the Tailgating Gods. Just means we have to buy a new one! Shopping!

I was ALMOST impressed by the Cooter restraint and congeniality. But they just couldn't control themselves. As you can see by their written correspondence.

The Greenwave came out and played some impressive first half football. We held the Cooters to 3 points before we scored 2 field goals for a 6-3 lead. At which point, Mr. Hullabaloo went to get a beer. Some Classy Cooter fan sitting in 144 called out to us, "Leaving Already?!!" Clearly he doesn't understand Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo's resilience. So Mr. Hullabaloo pointed to the scoreboard said, "On my way to get a beer, cause we're winning!!!" Well, Mr. Hullabaloo done went and did it. Classy Cooter fan went BEZERK. Screaming behind us like they're taught to do at Houston. Next he dropped his drawers and started digging in to the entire 144 section with incomprehensible gibberish. That lasted all of about a minute cause he and his little friend got bounced by the cops. Hope he had a delightful weekend stay at Central Lockup. We were sad Classy Cooter did not get to stay and watch the Houston kicks go "dink" against our goal posts. 3 times!

Well despite such exemplary behavior from the Cooters, we here at Tulane-nation do not wish any of our fellow opponents "to live in misery." Yes, we are burdened by knowing we are the only lucky ones who live in this fabulous city bestowed upon our great nation, A Crown Jewel City. We are alummni, followers and supporters of the Greatest College EVER. Indisputably. Beer in The Rat? Mardi Gras? Football? and Marines? Sounds like a winning combination to me, where do I sign? said the former Miss Hullabaloo back in the day.

It is indeed a chore to get up each morning as The Chosen Ones. It is our burden to bear. We know you are ALL mercilessly jealous about your sad little predicament of life. But that is why we invite you to come to our fair city and play in our fabulous NFL caliber stadium.

If out of ALL of the opponents on the Cooter schedule, you valued Mrs. Hullabaloo's opinion the most, well, quite frankly I am Flattered!

Let me tell you, I have to mention I was also SO very impressed with the Marshall contingent, except for that cheap shot horse collar on Peyton Jason at the end of the game. Requiring a new tendon from a cadaver as replacement. That glaring episode aside, their coaches did not get ejected from the stadium for being idiots, their players did not flip the bird to Tulane fans, they did not spit on the turf. This year anyways. I think Tulane manners might be rubbing off, there has clearly been some improvement. There might be something to this C-USA thing. Put all of the derelicts with folks that have some manners and education, shake it up and see what happens.

Speaking of shaking it up...Nell provided us with THE most awesome of awesome-est dessert at Homecoming.

Don't you worry Hullabaloo Fans! Mrs. Hullabaloo has got some stories about Homecoming. Our homecoming-worthy festivities made the NEWS! We were broadcast far and wide across 3 parishes (!) Squeal! Just waiting on the video and pictures to share.

But I digress, Nell's White Trash
Cheerios
Rice Chex
Corn Chex
M&M's in green and blue (this is a MUST)
Almonds and Cashews
Small twisty pretzels
White chocolate chips
smidge oil
Put white chocolate in a heat-resistant bowl and place over another pot with simmering water. Drizzle a little bit of oil and slowly melt the white chocolate. Combine all of the dry ingredients and pour melted chocolate over them and then stir. Spread out on a baking sheet with wax paper to cool. Break it all up, put into a cute bag and tie with a cute ribbon.

Serve and become The Official Tailgatress for your tailgating nation. Far and Wide. Get yourself a crown. I am serious!