I swear. Saturday after Tulane pummeled UCF in baseball 20-5 and invoking the mercy rule, we cheered the Tide on to victory over BRCC. It was a glorious day. It is always hilarious listening to the pompous commentators predicting a tiger rally only to just keep digging themselves a hole. It was a farce, an aberration, they were playing freshmen, the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, it's a midweek game. Whatever. You lost and it was delicious.
So I ran across this list of jokes, and laughed myself silly today. I'm only going to repost the g-rated ones. There's some very unlady like, yet very amusing, jokes. Click on the link though and share them far and wide.
Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Baton Rouge?
A: "New Orleans: 87 Miles"
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Q: What does the average Louisiana State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a LSU, a Tulane grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.
They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting “This is for the Fighting Irish!” as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for the Gators!”
Seeing this, the Tulane grad walked over and shouted "This one is for the Green Wave!" and pushed the Tigers fan off the side of the mountain.
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Q: What do you call a LSU player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good LSU joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a LSU grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a LSU grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a LSU grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
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An LSU Tigers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
(Mrs. Hullabaloo, that was terrible and unladylike! I know, I feel sorry for the frog)
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Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: In an LSU classroom. That's the last place you would find a football player.
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Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the LSU Tigers?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
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Q: How do you get a Louisiana State University grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
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It was reported that LSU head football coach Les Miles will only be dressing twenty players for the Tulane game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.
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Q: Why do Louisiana State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Louisiana State University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
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One day in an elementary school in Baton Rouge, LA, a teacher asks her class if the LSU Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Tulane Green Wave "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Green Wave fan, my mom is a Green Wave fan, I guess that makes me a Green Wave fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a LSU fan."
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Q. What did the LSU graduate say to the Tulane graduate?
A. "May I take your order, please?"
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Q: Why don't LSU Tigers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
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One foggy night, a Tulane fan and a LSU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near New Orleans. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The LSU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I'm lucky to be alive!”
Likewise, the Green Wave fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived. The LSU fan walks over to the Green Wave fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.” The Green Wave fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck.”
The Green Wave fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Tiger fan, “I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Tiger fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Tiger fan hands it back to the Green Wave fan and says, “Your turn!”
The Green Wave fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up.”
My favorite shot from Tulane's 2005 trip to Omaha for the CWS (big mike of the greenbackers):
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