Blessings, Confessions and Lap Dances

Things I am thankful for:

Michael Parenton is a Jet (When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette, til your last dying day...). Signed as a free agent on Sunday.

Troy Kropog joins Patrick Ramsey on the roster as a Tennessee Titan (35th in 4th round, 135 overall!)

Craig Gelhardt has an offer to attend rookie camp at Jacksonville. It didn't quite work out for Lester Ricard there, but I'm sure Craig can party with Jack Del Rio.

USC and Ohio State kicked LSU’s derriere up and down the NFL draft board. That alone would have made my weekend. Even Tulane's only pick went ahead of 5 of theirs. Ha! (I cannot WAIT for Michael Parenton to embarrass Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson in the pros. Probably with his hand tied behind his back too. I’m sorry, I simply cannot explain why the Kansas City Chiefs have band-aided dumb with dumber on their roster)

Tulane took 2 out of 3 in the weekend series against Memphis.

There was a little drama after the game tied and went into overtime on Saturday. Memphis won. Sigh. One of our fans and a Tiger High fan had some words, next thing you know beer is flying, fists coming out in the middle of Ben Weiner Drive. TUPD whisked away the Tiger High fan (who refused to accept an apology) before anybody got hurt and things got more out of hand. Phew!

As much as we “hate” opposing teams who dare take on our beloved Tulane Green Wave, we in New Orleans love all of our visitors and in an effort to entice them to continue returning to our fine city, we want to make sure that they enjoy themselves as much as possible. Especially Tulsa during Southern Decadence, we hope they enjoy all of the free drinks bought for them by that very tall woman with an adam’s apple and man hands. We also hope that Houston Cooter fans choke on their gumbo. Just kidding. Not. Everybody else: WELCOME TO NEW ORLEANS!

I hate to say that I missed the Tulane football scrimmage after all of my talking about it. The T Club sponsored a crawfish boil and they brought in Mr. Mudbugs. So while I was busy pinching and sucking, the scrimmage got underway and ended right as I got settled into the bleacher next to the Sparks and the Moores. I barely was two words into a delightful conversation with Nell Sparks when the whistle blew and the gates opened to let fans out onto the field.

Last August Toledo staged the longest scrimmage in the history of America – almost 3 hours long, so I didn’t realize we’d have a book end with the shortest scrimmage in the history of America this spring with the team on the field for all of about 20 minutes. Well I did get to chat up the new Defensive End transfer from Iowa: Dezman Moses.

Tulane officially took the First NBC cup in this year’s baseball series with UNO. Hoo-ray!

There’s still one more game left to play out at Maestri in two weeks. But it really was no fun beating UNO completely last week. The thrill was gone. I kind of wanted a real opportunity to get back at UNO third baseman alumnus, TJ Baxter, for giving section 110 the bird last year (a little rude dontcha think?).

UNO beat Tulane badly last year, so I have not found much sympathy amongst the Tulane faithful about UNO's dismal performance against us. The score when UNO beat us last year was so embarrassing that Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo were still licking their wounds days after. This year Tulane won the first game by 8-3 and the second game by 14-0 with no mercy rule in place. Innings 6 through 9 were excrutiating to watch.

So now, for my confession.

My friends, Mrs. Hullabaloo needs an intervention. I am shopping ‘til I’m dropping.

At Target, I found some stylish paper plates for Tulane Homecoming next year. They will go perfect with this “serengeti” napkin pattern I found.

Which matches my new Tulane carry bag that I had monogrammed. Be jealous Tulane Hullabaloo-ettes!

See, I found the wonderfully talented Beth who embroiders. Embroidery Beth made this beautiful tote bag for her mother who attends the Tulane Baseball games. When I saw it, I squeeled “How Cute! I must have one!”

So I gave Beth my new insulated drink tub, my new zebra striped bag and she made me a replica of the bag she made her mom.

So while I was on a roll, I decided to keep window shopping online and I came across these things:

How cute for the Football Moms!

And won’t these be perfect for Peggy’s Sonoma Chicken Salad at homecoming next year?

I know Mr. Hullabaloo will just hate how impractical these BBQ skewers are, but they are just too cute to pass up.
I tell you this shopping has GOT to stop. Mrs. Hullabaloo needs to be restrained.

By the way, Nell called us on a Friday night at dinner to squeal about the insulator bags I found at Big Lots. She absolutely must have 4 of them. Apparently the east bank Big Lots are plum cleaned out, so I went and cleaned out the Gretna Big Lots.

Indeed, these insulator bags are fabulous. It small and compact, yet fits all of the important ingredients for Bloody Marys at Tailgating on Saturday, including the side pockets for a radio headset, toothpicks, bottle opener, knife, extra koozie, what have you.

And for the ECU series, it was perfect to tote some Hullabaloo Tailgaters tee-shirts for Comedian Al. Comedian Al had demanded a lap dance in return for tickets to Saturday’s game against ECU. Al claimed that he’d given Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo “dozens” of tickets – which I just recall 2, but far be it from me to deny Al a lap dance to be performed by Mr. Hullabaloo if he was up to it.

Needless to say Mr. Hullabaloo declined the opportunity to perform. I have to add that New Orleaneans have learned: Lap Dances cannot be expensed. As in: don’t try to add it to your expense reports like former Senator Derrick Shephard tried to do. So in lieu of, we decided to gift Al one of our tailgating tee-shirts which we had debuted at the Tulane-Alabama game. Gratuitous cute photo of Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo walking into Bryant Denny stadium sporting said cute tee-shirts.

We were so proud of the Greenwave that night! Tulane held Alabama to a shaky win and we walked out of the stadium just floating on air. Alabama fans were embarrassed about that win. It was ugly. We forced 3 fumbles, they missed an extra point and field goal. John “Sarah Jessica” Parker Wilson only completed 11 of 23 passes for 73 yards! Miss Parker did not get drafted this weekend. Can you tell I am anxious for Tulane Football season to get started?

UPDATE: The Ray Hester chapter has sold us the aprons. Egads, more shopping! But fortunately, we can finally take the scarlett THIEF tatoos off of our foreheads! Peggy and I are having the aprons embroidered for Mr. Koozie and Mr. Hullabaloo.

ROLL WAVE!