Schedule is Out

Attention!

The Tulane football schedule has been announced. Six Home Games. Start your engines, the tailgating preparation clock begins.....

Friday, September 4th we play Aslut at home. The very same weekend as Southern Decadence. Now THAT should be interesting mix and mingling in the french quarter for the aslutians. I don't think we shall point that detail out to them. Let them find that out for themselves.

Friday night game though. Plus, despite my faint, fond memories of dinner at the Polo Grill in Utica Square last year and the double whammy of Mr. Hullabaloo securing THE mega suite at the hotel due to his VIP mileage status, this kick off highlights that I am already less than pleased with this schedule.

(mental note: will personally write to the CUSA commissioner and IMPLORE that Tulsa, Houston and Marshall be forced to undergo class and etiquette indoctrination).

Ladies: the idiot Azerbaijaini from Bravo's "Millionaire Matchmaker," the one who proposed on the first date after a helicopter ride over Vegas to view his so called real estate projects and who turned out to be a complete farce and totally broke? He is a Tulsa alumni. He also claimed to have pledged Sigma Chi.

ESPN is supposed to televise the game. So I will just need to forge ahead and find something absolutely stunning for the cameras.

Saturday, September 12th is BYU at home. Thanks Alabama. We are SO looking forward to tailgating with the mormons. Yes, that seems like an even trade. Sorry we embarrassed you last year. Now you've saddled us with a lame home game. This is not looking good.

Saturday, September 19th is McNeese at home. We are nearing the end of the inferno, we will be emerging from pergatory after this game in the schedule.

You will need to excuse Mrs. Hullabaloo for her patronizing-ness on this schedule situation.

See we played McNeese in baseball this week. Yawn. The game was essentially over in the 4th inning. Because it started to look tacky to keep doing the Hullabaloo after 15 runs, Mrs. Hullabaloo started cheering for the McNeese hitters. Having been on the receiving end of an ass-whipping after ass-whipping for 20 years, I can feel their pain. Gotta liven it up a little and show some encouragement. The McNeese fans might were totally short changing their players by being all droopy. Drive all this way and you don't say a peep for 3.5 hours? You gotta show some love to your kids!

Going into the game McNeese was 8-3 and leading the Southland Conference, while we were 9-5 and scared to death of entering our conference schedule. As we walked out of the park, we watched their coach giving them a serious tongue lashing. Poor guys.

Anyways, I am still unsure about scheduling a football series with McNeese. With their "we shall have NO fun crowds" and all.

We loose a couple of recruits a year at the last minute to McNeese. We lost a big one (3 stars by Rivals) last year, something about his girlfriend and wanting to stay at home (please? Lake Charles over New Orleans? because of some girl?). I just cannot imagine sitting in silent stands game after game. Coach Toledo hired away Jason Rollins from McNeese to coach Defensive Backs for the greenwave. Anyways, here's to hoping that the football crowds travel well. Maybe Mrs. Hullabaloo will whip up a batch of skipngoneekids to share with the visitors and liven up their mood some.

September 26th we go Boulevarding at SMU in Dallas! Major Exclamation Point! Now We Are Talking! Is this not the most adorable tailgating couple EVER? A red carpet moment of Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo at SMU in 2007.

I need to start shopping for the most adorable tailgating outfit. Like right now. An appearance at SMU is serious stuff.

Can I tell you how jealous Mrs. Hullabaloo is with SMU and their Boulevarding and their stadium. Ford Stadium is jaw-dropping with that sea of suites and every seat a chairback. Now I have seen my share of college football stadiums throughout our great nation and other than our Dome, nobody even comes close to touching SMU's stadium. Although I don't think that they serve adult beverages in Ford Stadium. It's like they pretend to not be sinners. Well us out and proud sinners would like a drink with our football, thank you.

SMU's tailgating is totally on par with The Grove at Ole Miss. Except better because it's in Highland Park in Dallas. Sorry, Oxford. No competition with the Big D.

October 3rd we begrudingly must go to West Point and that dump Michie stadium. Just hook me up to an IV of bloody mary right now.

Mr. Hullabaloo will need to make some serious hotel and restaurant reservations in Manhattan that weekend because I am seriously pumped to commence some serious ass-whipping against those black knights. Starting by sprouting horns at Zara's and Century 21. I will need to take my frustrations out on my credit card. A) they are a bunch of cheaters and they did NOT make the first down or the touchdown and WE WERE ROBBED. B) last year was entirely our fault, but regardless. Mr. Hullabaloo is a former marine (yes ladies, eat your hearts out and be jealous) and he doesn't care much for army.

Mrs. Hullabaloo is already penciling down a shopping itinerary for the days surrounding the game.

The next two games: Oct. 10 at home against Marshall, Oct. 17 at home against Houston. I just don't have the energy to expend writing a syllable about those teams. October 10th is Homecoming though. Green v. Green. I am not feeling the love on that color combination.

Home or away, games against Houston are not high on my list of "fun." Years ago Mrs. Hullabaloo was tackily propositioned by a 1000 year old Houston booster. Honestly. I still have nightmares over the encounter. In 2007 Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo almost found themselves in a knockdown fist fight with some typically trashy Cooter fans while minding our own business picking up our tailgating order at Mother's. For real. Oh, and this idiot player tore his jersey off and climbed up their director's stand to belt out their fight song while our band was playing our alma mater to the team at the conclusion of the game.

Last year it must have been Cryps/Bloods vs. Latin Kings Knight at UH Homecoming. Or UH really is just ghetto.

They are just ghetto.The females all had their hair gelled into ringlets, carefully painted ^ for eyebrows, grillz in their mouth and shorts that could have passed for underwear. The men wore the latest in ghetto baggy pant fashion. We even spotted a guy wearing a spinner tire rim as bling on a chain around his neck. and then the team viciously attacked Joe Kemp on a cheap shot during a dead play. Classy the Cooters are not.

Oct. 24 at Southern Miss. Mr. Hullabaloo is so excited about going to Hattiesburg. We already have plans to take the Southern Crescent train. I can already picture us lazily sipping a cocktail as we gaze out onto South Louisiana and South Mississippi. Even though it will take twice as long as driving. Mr. Hullabaloo picked out a wonderful cookbook from Robert St. John recently. We are very much looking forward to a delightful evening at a Chef St. John establishment. Now if Hattiesburg had a cool boutique hotel we'd be set.

Oct. 31 at Baton Rouge. Halloween. How fitting. We'll be able to complement for real everybody's costumes (is that a derriere face mask or what happened to you?). Ha! Hope Mr. Frank will consider unveiling The Skull for this frightful occassion.

Nov. 7 at home against Texas-El Paso. The miners. I always think of that super hot Bachelor from the Meredith season who formerly played for the Miners. Matthew Hickl. Remember the almost last episode: the getting ready scene and all's Mr. Matthew is wearing is a towel? yummy. He played in NFL-Europe, pre-season with the Seahawks and even got a tryout with the Saints. Anyways. Mr. Hullabaloo is reading over my shoulder (plus Matthew married this ugly model 2 years ago), so time to stop drooling and get back to this football schedule.

The last two games of the season we go to Houston and to Orlando. Nov 14 is at Rice and November 21 is at Central Florida.

The Hotel Zsa Zsa is directly across the street from Rice Stadium. I can't wait!

The Central Florida trip I will need to give some thought to, having never been there. Patti Terranova told me this hilarious story about how she and Bridget Holt drove non-stop by themselves from New Orleans to UCF the Katrina season to watch Bubba and Scott. They are crazy those two.

OK Greenwave nation: 7 months til September 4th!