Postcard From The Edge

Welcome back, Mrs. Bad Fan here breaks her silence.

I almost asked Preacherman to just drive his minivan with all of us aboard straight into Bayou Lafourche last nite, but then I thought of you and how much y'all have missed me.

A group of us road tripped out to Thibodaux for our "away" baseball game with Harvard on the Bayou. Jesus, Joseph and Mary and all of the angels and saints: What is Going On Here?! We lost in the most humiliating fashion to a school who's press box is a card table set up on metal bleachers and a shed for a ticket window.

See, here's photographic proof. This is it. This is the expanse of Didier Field. Where we lost like fools.


I wish I'd snapped a picture of Graf in his hoodie trying to broadcast from that card table. It was hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious: On the way to Thibodaux Peggy was telling me the story about of Tulane's last away game at Didier Field which I did not attend. I was laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants. Did you know Coach Jones got kicked out of Nicholl's stadium? Twice! Apparently Coach Jones got hot about some call during the game, so the ump told him to leave. But as you can see this stadium is not exactly a fortress. So Jones snuck back in somehow into a corner somewhere in the stands and didn't even have a mustache disguise or potted fern to hide behind or anything. So he got discovered and walked back out to the bus, but Tulane fans made a human tunnel for him to leave through causing much aggravation to the Colonels and their fans. So afterwards a stupid LSU fan tries to taunt Big Mike because that's how they roll in Baton Rouge - you get aggravated with games and so you taunt the opponent's fans. So Big Mike turned to the sorry squirt and said "Yeah?! Well, I peed on your truck. So there." He didn't really, but OMG ha!

But alas...after the humiliation of the past 4 games, Coach Hullabaloo is going to refuse to go to Tuscaloosa for the series with Alabama and that makes me sad.

Anyways, I just have to say: All of you have been so kind and patient during my many months of silence following the end of that whackadoodle football season we had in 2012. After the umpteenth person asked about Hullabaloo Huddle last night and during our first weekend series at Turchin, I decided to just post already. My silence has been kind of on purpose, save a few outbursts on twitter. And save some some booty shaking over the Bowl Season Upsets that warmed my heart so. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank YOU Clemson and, well, um, thank you, begrudingly, Louisville. Bowl Season can make strange bedfellows of even some of us most hardened fans. But by the way, did you know that Tulane has a vastly larger endowment than Clemson?

So, anyways, what has mostly contributed to my silence has been the ever changing landscape of our future. Paying attention to and following conference negotiations, media deals and our recruiting inroads has been like running with the bulls. The fluctuations of each and every twitter newscycle has been like totally cray. At this point in our lives it even appears that the Big East is about to shred all sense of dignity and acquiese into selling it's name (!) to the Seven Whiny Babies also informally known as the Catholic 7.

Yes, you've emailed, texted and cornered me on social media for my opinions. I value that you value my ole little opinion so here is a summation:

To Whom It May Concern: Mrs. Hullabaloo approved of the Big East news. Made Lorenzo Doss' takeaway in the final game of the season a glimmer of the possibilities. But the shine's kinda worn off with the implosion that ensued and now that the 2013 schedule's been announced, plus with Robert Kelley being academically ineligible it forces me to remember that we are talking about Tulane here and not some mythical land of manna that has decided truly once and for all to get it's act together.

Plus, forgive me for not busting out a ticker tape parade about Aslut following us to the Big East and the whole excrutiating C7 Death Spiral. Although I did pause to do my best Vincent Price MUWAHAHA! that we were asked first over the remaining members of Ex-Cusa. Witnessing the apoplexy of the haters was d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s for the moments that it lasted.

But then, I was confronted with a most ratchet* development in Tulane Contemporary History: Our 2013 football schedule. It SO blows. I'm a schedule elitist y'all, so sue me.

*Ratchet is actually word y'all. It's the twitter bastardization of wretched. hilarous, right? kids!

Anyways, back to my regularly scheduled bitching: What has further cemented my gossip fueled and cynical opinions is that at the tail end of the conference capers and what not, Tulane's AD pipes up and finally "had something to say."

Ok, Listen up folks! A Member of TPTB Feels It Imperative To Announce, Above All Other Absurdity of Our Making, That - wait for it ........ Boisie State Is Inappopriate and Unreasonable.....

Y'all. !

With the awkward level of crap heaved at Tulane over the winter from every corner of ESPN and national newspapers (and that unfortunate Marquette interview) about how we were responsible for the demise of the American College Conferences As We Know It for daring to accept the invitation to the Big East, this is what merited an outburst of outrage from Wilson Center: That Boisie State's PTB aren't shy or demure about strong arming a deal to benefit themselves. Look who's looking out for number one! How Shameful. And We Won't Stand For That Behavior!

Talk about a lost opportunity to Jujitzu all of the bad publicity into something positive. When's the last time we trended in the newscycles?

Anyways, moving on. I gotta reserve some ire for this Inappropriate and Unreasonable Football Schedule and this just most truly sad start to the baseball season. (But honestly, lost in all this if you can take a break from your wrist slitting appointments, Tulane Baskeball has been winning. Shhhh! though. We can't mention it or it will break the mojo. So everybody remain silent ok.)

2013 HOME Southernmost Alabama, ULM, Jack(who?)son State, East Carolina, North(of Denton) Texas, Aslut, UTEP

2013 AWAY Boca Raton Community College FAU, Louisiana Tech, Rice, UTSA, Syracuse

This is what an inaugural member of the SEC has come to: Road trips to Ruston!. I won't lie: I won't be shedding a tear about going to Boca Raton with Coach Hullabaloo, we're big fans of Miami. I can't wait to make all of my favorite restaurant reservations and hit up my favorite shops. The lone bright spot. And what's more is that with the awfulness that has befallen my Slugger Birds, we now have to turn our minds and get pumped up about opening up against South Alabama. boo.

The silver lining in all of this is my spiritual edification. In that this all makes my fog of disappointment about morning games last season just all the more tragic. God sure learned me to question a game time against Ole Miss. (What was I thinking??!!!) A sure lesson in gratefulness and humility, because even if TPTB scheduled 6pm games to make up for this ratchet-ness, it is not going to rectify a schedule packed 100% with directional schools. Lord, please forgive me and show us mercy. There is still time though for TPTB to Rise Up and walk back an agreement with one of these schools like Alabama and the Outhouse did to us. Our Lady of Football Schedules, pray for us. Amen.

Anyways, my dears: 7 months to plan so I just need to get over it and Echa Pa'Lante!

The Cajuns Played a Bowl Game FYI

Yeah, yeah, yeah - this is stale news. But y'all I had presents to open, meals to cook, carols to sing and Coach Hullabaloo had his fireworks to burn.

I am still not all caught up yet on all the celebrating that needs to be happening. Twelfth Night is just around the corner and that means Mardi Gras! My life is a whirlwind. (plus, get this: the TU Alumni House actually called me a week ago to see what I thought about throwing a pre-game tailgate party for the TU v. USM basketball game. Which now it appears that the Saints will be in a Wilcard Game downtown the same day. I was tickled to be called nonetheless)

And speaking of celebrating - how genius is this invitation sent out by Big Mike to his holiday party?


LMAO - "more foot stomping music than a Saturday night at Shady's!" ha! ha! Tulane peoples are famously irreverent - we just love hatin on the tiggers - and Big Mike just cracks me up! He is so unaplogetically not PC and that is refreshing.

At a recent holiday party we were both at he was griping about Team Wilson Center on many recent issues, including their evasiveness in addressing whether or not the new stadium will have lights. One would think this would be a "yes" or "no" answer. But sigh, Team Wilson Center is scairt of the Audubon Boulevard homeowners and Big Mike rightly pointed out the obvious: "We have an entire law school full of Jewish lawyers. If Tulane can't figure out how to win that battle, we've got a lot bigger problems than 10 neighbors complaining about lights!" ha! Gotta love Big Mike - and his cocktail weanie recipe which I will share below.

So while on the topic of weanies: I had some words with some fellow "credentialed" members of the New Orleans area media. They were completely useless a few weeks back as evidenced by their email response. I also sent me a letter to the Times Picayune for finding new ways to be pathetic.

42,000 Cajuns and San Diegans in town for the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl and the Times Pic buries a story about the nail biter finish on page 11 the following day. The "Mighty 690" Weanies didn't even mention it at all. You'd think they'd need to have naked mascots or something to get some coverage.

Oh wait, but there were naked mascots. ha!

My rampage to hold "credentialed" New Orleans sports media accountable was quelle hilarious because after I sent me off that Letter to the Editor at the Times Pic-A-Sheet, my phone rang. The Times Pic actually called and asked me if I wrote it. Well, yeah - you gonna run it? Just because Scott Cowen won't say nothin to Board Member Ashton Phelps about the bull his paper runs, doesn't preclude me from offering a piece of my mind. Plus - Scott Cowen is too preoccupied approving purple and gold ads for the Medical School it seems.

Anyways, the Times Pic uh... chickened out and ran another, more ummm, congenial letter pointing out to them that they blew it. and Gawd do they bleaux! Because unless it involves purple and gold, the Times Pic and the "Mighty 690" Weanies don't know whether to scratch their watch or wind their butts.

So since every "credentialed" media outlet is completely cast into a psychotic purple haze for at least another week I shall have to pick up the slack and give you my most colorful post-mortem as possible of the other sporting events happening with "local" teams in "Our City."

My story begins the day before the New Orleans Bowl. I had asked Coach Hullabaloo if he was interested in partying with the Cajuns at the Dome. I was thrilled to see that I had indeed piqued his interest with the prospect and so I then immediately went in for the kill by mentioning that it is "prime" oyster season happening right now and we could pit stop at Drago's before going to the Dome for a date night. Totally genius.

My sorority color is cardinal red, so I have got all kinds of cute red outfits happening. Coach Hullabaloo's fraternity is also cardinal red, so with color appropriate outfits and delish Drago's ersters we were all set to go mingle with the Aztecs and the Cajuns.

Outside the dome, there were some very sweet cajuns who had plaza level tickets just one section over from our normal Saturday dome seats. They even had some kind of special booster club pricing so we got them at an awesome price. Excellent football karma happening for us.

Well....Then Coach Hullabalo waded his way through Champions Square hunting for the ATM machine and came back reporting all kinds of drunkeness happening amongst the Cajuns.

I admit I got scairt. Here I was envisioning this lovely evening with delightful Lafayette-ans and I hadn't quite thought through how these peeps would be unleashed after 45 years of not having a winning season. It's bad enough for us that we are approaching 10 years, but 45!? That's like centuries.

And y'all - were they unleashed* period exclamation point. Coach and I naively took our seats on the UL sideline in what turned out to be ground zero of Cajun madness and after about oh, 5 minutes looked longingly over to the San Diego sidelines and decided that it was more our speed over there.

(*So here's the perfect plan: Let's let the unleashed Cajun Fans and the Tiger fans just duke it out until there's nobody left standing.)

So we headed over to the SDSU side and ran into Coach TD Woods and also into Booty! Booty was selling programs, which she does in order to get into Saints games. But unfortunately she was a major party pooper and said she wasn't staying for the game. I am here to say that she. missed. out.

Coach and I had agreed earlier that we would be agnostic for the game, although we had a soft spot for the Cajuns. It was starting to be hard to not root for SDSU though because the level of immaturity coming from some of the Cajun fans was just really putting a damper on my evening. I was so sad about that. Near us on the SDSU sideline seats there were some particularly immature (and ungroomed) Cajun students who appeared to have come straight from their OccupyLafayette meeting. Lawd have mercy, these chirrens started acting all kinds of ways. Coach Hullabaloo initially thought they were hippies from San Diego, but they were using all kinds of foul language that can only be found I think in a backwater. After a few downs, Coach could tolerate it no more so he had them bounced.

First Coach Hullabaloo went over and told these Cajun chirren to zip it and that they were making the state look bad - he wasn't going to tolerate such behavior with our out of town visitors. They looked at him and said "Yes sir" and then as soon as Coach turned around they went right back to yelling foolishness to the SDSU families. Oy. So Coach Hullabaloo snapped up and went to go find him some cops. It took him for-ever and I was starting to get worried because SDSU men were getting up from their seats and yelling back and these Cajun chirren. Yes, it was escalating!

Finally Coach showed up with officers in tow and they snatched the kiddos right up. Cops shoulda been equipped with muzzles in addition to handcuffs because these kids continued to yell obsceneties the whole way out. Coach said he was delayed because the cops were busy breaking up all kinds of fights around the dome and he had to wait.

So back to the game: The first quarter I was somewhat glad that Mark Hudspeth and his baby momma, the UNA cheerleader he knocked up and divorced his first wife for wife decided to stay in Lafayette instead of accepting the offer to coach The Greenwave because he was dialing up some really lame plays and the Cajun Kicker, Brett Baer couldn't kick an extra point to save his life. SDSU was carving them up.

And y'all - the SDSU band was vastly superior to the Cajun Band. Bless their hearts the Cajuns have a lot of catching up to do on fun game day traditions. And gameday outfits. Because I saw all kinds of attire. This should be a rule: Tulle skirts are appropriate for toddlers, not adult women.

The Cajun Band only played "Dr. Who" it seemed like the entire game - I was about to poke my eye out. In contrast, the SDSU Aztec band was very lively. And their fans have a very cute cheer that they do to one of the band songs: S! D! S! U! S-D-S-U-FIGHT-FIGHT-FIGHT!

The cheer/song was sooooooooo cute that Coach Hullabaloo and I have decided that we are introducing this at Tulane. We even practiced by chanting our made up Greenwave version everytime the SDSU Band played it:

T!...U!...GREEN!...WAVE!
T-U-GREEN-WAVE-ROLL-WAVE-ROLL!

And the poor little Cajun Pepper Mascot - all he has is a little head piece.


I hope he earns a proper mascot costume after this bowl payout.

Well, I can't really say anything about not having enough costuming because SDSU peeps also seemed to have either lost their luggage or they dress half naked on purpose.

Just look at this woman.


The ripping up of gameday shirts into flashdance creations?

But then y'all - Mr. Aztec.

Actually I think his proper name is Monty, as in Montezuma. I immediately notified Booty that she had missed her opportunity for some kinda Mascot encounter.


Just look at this man's washboard abs. It made me want to stand up and applaud.


That kilt thing he was wearing looked like it was barely clinging to his hip flexors. When your mascot can be confused for a Chippendale's costume: clearly an indication that your mascot should be more appropriately attired.

Anyways: the game - I thoroughly enjoyed the exciting finish, despite being constantly distracted by the half naked mascot. When SDSU took the lead with 35 seconds left to the game, Coach and I looked at the sad Cajun fans, crying and witnessning the game slipping away from them. And well, we took pity on them. Then outa nowhere boom, boom, boom - the Cajuns manage to get into field goal kicking range and won it back. It was un-freaking-believable. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. Their poor kicker, Brett Baer had missed 3 extra points earlier in the game.

But win it they did and the celebrating in the dome was deafening. And the 690 Weanies missed out on some very fun post-game discussion that coulda been happening on Monday after the game. Instead, they act like fools.

And y'all - this cocktail weanie recipe care of Big Mike will bring a cascade of applause at your next gathering. I promise!

BIG MIKE'S FAMOUS COCKTAIL WEANIES
Little Smokies
pound bacon - cut strips in half
cuppa Brown Sugar or so
Toothpicks

Big Mike says this is a labor intensive party dish in that wrapping the bacon around the little weanies can be exhausting. So maybe have a friend help and roll em up with some cocktails to pass the time.

Soak your toothpicks in water so that they don't like catch fire in the oven. Then you wrap each weanie in a half strip of bacon and then secure with your toothpick. Line em up side by side in a caserole dish. Sprinkle brown sugar over the top until covered. Broil in the oven for a spell until the bacon looks cooked and crisp. Keep warm in a chaffing dish or a crockpot on low.

I think these weanies would be awesome for a brunch tailgate with a Hashbrown casserole. mmmm....

Alright - next up I'll take about the funnest game I've been to in for-ever: The ladies basketball tourney. Soooo much fun! Can't wait to share. It was great.

Big Loss According to Big Mike

"Thank God for Breast Cancer!"

"I WANT Breast Cancer, put me out of my misery!"

"Toledo and Price are Friends? WHAT a Friend!!!"

"BIG 12?! The SUNBELT won't want us!"

omg it was hilarious. Big Mike came out with his pink Tulane shirt, just spitting out a rainstorm. I could hear him across the parking lot.

Big Mike had some competition on the outrage though. Coach Hullabaloo came out of the dome because Robert Kelly's touchdown was taken away from him by the Zebras. and he was fit to be tied. I was a little concerned, so I made sure to have a plate ready for him by the time he got to the car. Distract him a little with the food.

You see, I was already perched in my tailgating chair before the game was over so I got to witness all of this. Yes, it was very un-Mrs. Hullabaloo of me. But ya know, we had good eats leftover from tailgating and an ice chest full of drinks still. I turned the car radio on, settled in my trusty tailgate chair and got to wave good bye to everybody else leavin.

Booty and I started cutting up, laughing and then starting singing "Good Bye! Farewell! Auf Weidersehn Good bye!" "Adieu, Adieu, To you and you and you!" ...you know, to Coach Toledo our athletic misdirector the departing fans as they drove out of the parking lot.

I wasn't that bad of a fan. at least I was still in the area of the stadium ya know. I still have a little bit of a pause though, cause I don't want to be sporting tire tracks yet again from getting tossed under a bus and trotted out again as the excuse for why we lost.

Anyways as insurance against being labeled a scapegoat, I resisted my "naysaying" ways and decided during the game to get behind Up The Middle TM. Cause honestly, I am tired tired of complaining about it. So I started cheering "Yay! Up The Middle!"

Hoo-ray, Hoo-ray, Up! Da! Middle!

Lisa and Mrs. VOW were cracking up. If I had pom poms, I would have been shaking them every time Toledo called Up The Middle TM.

But then Booty came off her shift and so I asked her if she wanted to help me polish off our ice chest and she said, but of course! So there we were just taking all of this in.

SMU just beat UCF by a. LOT. ya know. So instead of grabbing onto my ankles for the rest of the season I think I am just gonna have to continue to enjoy my tailgating. BBQ next week y'all. Always a fan favorite.

Roll tide? Wave!*

*did y'all catch that during the game? the stadium announcer?! what was that story?!

Blaze of Glory

pictures from Jimmy Mitchell for Tulane, Linda Stetler for the Birmingham News and Coach Hullabaloo just for fun!

UAB went dooooown, in our Blaze of Glory, UAB went dooooown, in our Blaze of Glory!

and while I loved, loved it (!), I am not allowing myself to celebrate until exactly 7 days from now.

When the Saints had their magical season in 2009, I think it was about 10 undefeated games in when I finally said "OK, this is for real!" My friends thought I was so funny, because it wasn't until the Patriots game that I finally started having fun watching the games, instead of just expecting something horrible to happen.

Do any of yous remember the 2007 game vs. Les Tigres at the dome? (Yeah, that one. The last "home" game in a "Home and Away" contract that Joe Activia broke). Anyways, I sat there shocked the first half. Just stunned and I kept asking Coach Hullabaloo "Wait, LSU has GOT to be throwing this game on purpose. Is this for real?" I even turned around to one of Scott Holt's cousins and asked her, "Is this for real?!" and she nodded "Yes!"

I swear I was prolly the only Tulane fan in the stand at that '07 game who was convinced this was all a joke, Ha Ha and then the real Tulane team would stand up.

So this might be blasphemy to some of yous out there, but I think that our for real test will be next week against Duke. I think that our win yesterday was a combination of UAB being on a downturn and luck. Like how many times did #12 have to break tackles and outrun us for us to start keeping him in check? He was giving me heart palpitations.

Our special teams was also giving me heart palpitations. At first I was throwing daggers in my mind to Coach Toledo for calling for a fake punt instead of a field goal, but then I realized it was a botched snap. Sigh. And I am not knocking Derrick Strozier: but what exactly is happening at Special Teams practices. In the NCAA you cannot signal a fair catch and then go running. Hello, what was that story.

So you can understand that at 35-10 I refused to stop biting my nails as I tend to do when we are ahead. Just waiting for the hatchet to fall and for us to lose. I wasn't comfortable until the score got to 42-10 and the scorching sun was finally behind the west sideline boxes. Listen: I was THERE at Michie in '07 when we were up by 17 in the final minutes of the game and lost due to bullsh&t officiating. That quote/unquote "Miracle" was a farce, so there. (can you picture me doing air quotes on miracle? cause I am ha ha). The bottom line is Tulane has mastered the art of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory for longer than I've been a Tulane fan.

Yesterday at UAB we got to sit with Mike Cammarata who was a guard for the Greenies from '65-69. His first college game was opening against Texas on the road. Da-um!

As Coach Hullabaloo likes to laugh about Nola locals: dang Messieur Cammarata could talk. New Orleaneans can talk to walls y'all. Anyways, Grandson Cammarata kept wanting to comment on the game and I kept shushing him. "SHHHHH! until the clocks says zero, zero, zero don't El Gato Negro us, this is a Tulane game!" You musn't comment while we are ahead and inadvertendly add some juju.

I even turned to one of the Greenbacker wives and said, Man I have so many comments in my head but I don't want to ruin everything by saying anything. And she agreed! "Don't! Rick Jones wouldn't want you to say anything either!" So I just zipped it.

The funniest comment though was Coach Hullabaloo bantering with the Greenbackers about the spread for the game. Coach admitted he had wanted to vote on the spread on Sportsbook, because he didn't feel that it would be 2 TD's. Now, y'all: I was confident we would pull this one out, just not by the margin that it was. I was expecting some crazy '07 SMU overtime situation. Big Mike chimed up and said "I bet on this game today too! I bet $10,000....Lira" LMAO, Lira.

Also my hesitation to start booty shaking about yesterday's win is that Duke just hung one on Boston College. Them devils gotta have some Mo happening to carry them into their own Homecoming. There is nothing more that I would love than to initiate a Homecoming Spanking Sweep TM. I am tired, tired of being everyone's homecoming bitches, time to feel like we did leaving the Mississippi State game in 2006 when State fans put "For Sale" signs up in Croomer's yard. tee hee!

So Mega props where Mega Props are due: 1. To the UAB Band for our awesome soundtrack throughout the game and playing the Darth Vader every time we made a first down.

2. Mega props to Wilson Van Hooser showing off to his family and friends by hanging on to catches and making a TD. Yaaay!


3. And Holy facundus on Trent Mackey's pick six, he is like the gift that keeps on giving.

4. and Mega props to the Running Back corps lead by Erleens.



Albert Williams leaps made me want to stand up and applaud, his backflips are starting to pay dividends. and Mrs. Hullabaloo can't wait to see Dante Butler unleashed, because he looks killer.

I was also pleasantly surprised how many Tulane fans and alumni showed up. Our player's families even showed up en masse. Here a picture of Flat Riptide with the LeBeau's (look at the little LeBeau's lmao)....


I am starting a Novena tomorrow, so I will include the Greenies to keep some of the Confidence and Swagger that they got from creaming UAB, showing up against Tulsa and having their way with Southeastern. And for Rick Dickson and Scott Cowen to finally just get over their myopia and just get us into the ACC already. Amen.

I Ain't Got Nothing to Say.

I right-clicked these pictures from the Times Pic. I claim no ownership, but ever thankful they sent Rusty Constanza as witness in case they need to prove that they cover -local- college teams from time to time.

What can I say my dear Chamudis! I ain't got nothing to say. Season starts next week.

I ain't got nothing to say to them Ducks neither. They can just Talk to the Hand!

So now my self-imposed media exile begins. What a downer. Cause All We'll Hear About this week is Purple, Purple, Purple. Gag me with a spoon.

I did take a chance and watched the 10pm news hoping that since their game wasn't final they wouldn't have highlights from Dallas. Thank You sweet baby Jesus for the reprieve for at least an evening. Cause I just know Scott Cody has got his ponytails all waded up from jumping up and down waiting breathlessly to get back to New Orleans tell his side of the story.

Anyways, our Game: I was trying to figure out the flashcards SLU had going on there. MO looked like Up the Middle. KX looked like screen pass to the right.


Is that the deal with a "Hurry Up Offense": Weird Signs? Cause I don't remember that from the 98 season when we had some kind of Hurry Up and Put this Game Away situation happening.

And how about Robert Kelley though?! Ke-lley! Ke-lley! Ke-lley! Westbankers Unite!


By the way, is this legal? Trying to disrobe our players when you can't stop them?

And did Wilson Van Hoosier have wheaties for breakfast or what?


Where did that catch and run come from? Of course then he turned right around and had a case of butter fingers on a bullet that Griffin nailed right to into his hands. Oy vey. But, if there's one thing that I can thank the Football Gods for the NFL lockout, it's that Drew Brees cast a spell over Ryan Griffin. Who is this cool, confident and accurate QB at the helm? I hope he sticks around and the OL holds up against Tulsa next week.

WGNO's highlights have great footage of Mr. Kelley and Mr. Van Hoosier (btw, is that Kristina Pink y'all?)

 

I must add that I am kind of numb and in disbelief that we blocked a punt. For a safety. Yes in-deed. The last time we did something, anything, on special teams was 7 years ago. Which is like 52 in cat years. or something.

That Safety should have been a TD imho but the Refs were just tripping over themselves to blow the spread instead of cooperating with us for once. Like what was the story with giving us a late hit penalty when we tripped and landed on our own player?

I'm also not going to say anything about the third down penalties for being off sides. Mr. Mozes and Mr. Mackey. I'll put that to the back of my mind.

But I will say that our Tailgating Brunch menu was a success. As well as our paired down tailgating inside of the dome parking garage.


Applause, Applause to our fabulous Hullabaloo Krewe of tailgaters. And welcome to Mr. Merida and his lovely wife. I simply must know how you prepare such beautiful grits. and I promise to get Tomarie's brownie recipe and post soon. My one regret from our menu is that I should have made more Praline Bacon (click for recipe) though cause apparently that was like crack around addicts.

As easy peesy as they are to make, I secretely hope that gameday Praline Bacon making is not like the superstition thing we need for good mojo. Like me having to hang out on the concourse during SLU's posessions or Peggy being exiled to a bathroom stall at Turchin. Cause I can figure out extaordinary ways to mess up a meal from time to time. This morning I burnt the first set of pecans I was trying to toast on the stove in a totally blonde kind of way. I was running around the kitchen as I tend to do on gameday mornings and kept thinking to myself What is that Burning Smell? After about 5 minutes I finally eye the charred black remains of pecans and then it dawns on me that there's smoke billowing and engulfing my kitchen. I don't think I could handle having to recreate burnt pecans every week as my contribution to the team. Coach Hullabaloo will kill me before I attempt to offer up our home in a raging inferno as our sacrifice in a quest for a winning record.

My last observation (for today anyways): One of the coolest things about being inside the garage for tailgating was that before heading in for the game everyone did a round of Hullabaloo in unison! It was a neat memory.

Next up is Aslut and lawd they got spanked by Oklahoma. Sigh...we shall see what the football gods have in store for us....

P.S. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Waveprofessora for offering up a parking space! And Thank you Big Mike for keeping Dome Security from driving us crazy another football season with their silly "no fun" rules.

The Search for "Anonymous_Tulanian"

I am on a mission y'all. and if there's one thing you, my dear readers, may learn from reading my drivel is that I am stupid stubborn. It drives Coach Hullabaloo nuts what I do and say sometimes. But I am persistent when I get my brain on something. Anyways, I'll let y'all know what I am up to in a moment.

So things have been a little unsettled in the Hullabaloo world the past few days. Instead of the anticipation-laden weeks leading up to football season with pre-tailgate paloozas and new recipe sharing, new outfits and such, the tubes are just awash in some soul searching discussions about the state of our football program.

Under condition of anonymity (just kidding, I just say this cause it makes it sound like I did some official investigating, which I did not. Nope, just your everyday New Orleans gossiping to blame) Mrs. Hullabaloo has learned that TPTB has hired The Aspire Group to lead their ticket selling and marketng efforts. Outsourced that task to "Experts." The search for a brand new Ticket Guru and Ticket Intern is underway. An Aspire consultant was brought in to New Orleans and a roundtable held with different factions of the Greenie Dat Nation: students, local fans, former athletes, and faculty for concerns and suggestions.

Clearly, Mrs. Hullabaloo has too many unvarnished opinions, so I was not included in these discussions. But the discussion seemed to have been interestng nonetheless without Mrs. Hullabaloo's input. I don't know if Aspire invited members of the Tulane family who do not attend games, because I think that discussion may have been more interesting in lieu of hearing Greenie Dats beat a dead horse.

First of all: are you sitting down? Because you need to be sitting down for this. I found out that Big Mike is the holder of a bonafide Bachelor of Arts in English from The Tulane University of Louisiana. Holy Facundus, right? What's more: on a full scholarship. Yes ma'am! And is the son of a former Tulane football player. That his father was a football player wasn't such a shocking discovery as that Big Mike is a multi-faceted individual. See: this is what I love about die hard Greenie Dats. Who knew, right? When I called Coach Hullabaloo and continued the gossip wheel about the Aspire Roundtables, halfway through my discourse he interrupted me and said "Hold On. I'm still trying to get over that Big Mike was an English major." Talk about LMAO.

All of the usual laundry list items were brought up with these poor Aspire consultants who I don't know quite expected the barrage of dysfunction that entails being a member of the Greenie Dat Nation. See, I'm not the only one with a complaint or something to say. While I bleed olive and blue and love it fiercely, this is hard work not just to endure foolishness, but you've got to have a the nose of an ardvark to uncover cute Greenwave gear in the market place, and master gameday tailgating under challenging conditions. I swear I don't know how Coach Toledo is able to remain a gentleman at all times and refrain from running screaming down Willow Street. But I pray to sweet baby Jesus that I be blessed his demeanor and manners sometimes. Cause this frustration can get the better of Mrs. Hullabaloo on more than one occasion.

As you know from my earlier post, Ticket sales is just but a mere symptom of larger systemic issues that have been documented on the Greenie Dat internet tubes all over. I need not rehash.

So then next on the list is that it came to Mrs. Hullabaloo's attention that Outreach Tulane is the same day as our opening game against Southeastern. You can just imagine that Mrs. Hullabaloo was fit to be tied, especially after this stadium size and 90% fundraising business and the stirring up of emotions from the Roundtables. Yes, I know that I may end up straight in hell for considering that a football game has higher priority than carrying out God's work thru charity. But as a well-raised Texas Girl I feel I have got my priorities straight.

(I feel like a stern parent here lecturing an unruly child. You WILL go to Tailgate. You WILL watch the Game. and You WILL enjoy it. I don't care if you don't wanna. Hilarious, right? LOL!)

Listen, Mrs. Hullabaloo is refusing a FREE trip in November to the very beautiful Buenos Aires to attend a baby christening (for the lovely couple who ruined the 2009 UTEP game for me by deciding to get married during football season). There is nothing in this world that I love (besides my husband. and my fur babies. and yes, of course the Wave) than good food eatin' and good shopping. Buenos Aires has these in spades. You have to want to find bad food and bad shopping in Buenos Aires. Yes Mrs. Hullabaloo will not budge. I do not take extraneous vacations during football season. It is too critical. I had surgery once the morning of a game and went anyways.

Now, to be fair - the ever-patient and hardworking, Jason Potuto and staff at the Wilson Center is working with Outreach to get kids to the dome in time for a tailgate lunch and then we all need to collectively hope and pray that the chirren actually stay to support and cheer the team.

But this is the tide that Greenie Dats labor with. So you can understand how frustrating it is to compete against a volunteer program that pulls hundreds and hundreds of students, faculty and family out to go paint an elementary school. Yes I will burn in hell for feeling this way. These wonderful and blessed souls are moving heaven and earth to do good will towards man. But it has to be on game day? and I can't help but wondering why the same fervor can't be made to round up these crowds to go say "We Support You" to their fellow classmates and students who represent them. It is quite a pickle.

Not all Tulane faculty is dense in the football schedule department. Waveprofessora is an exceptional exception to the general rule. I do love her and her Tailgating Krewe.

But all of this leads me to the title of today's post. WHO IS THIS MISGUIDED FACULTY PERSON AT TULANE? click to read his Nola.com comments. I am on a mission my fellow Greenie Dats. You must help me find this individual and stage an intervention! Putting all of his misinformation aside, can you believe what he said about the athletes? Or that he is annoyed by the offer for Free Tickets (well, then give them to me!)? Talk about OMG.

So Picture this: Mrs. Hullabaloo hosting Anonymous_Tulanian at a Hullabaloo Huddle tailgating. Serving him one of our fabulous tailgate concoctions, some of Priscilla's world famous brisket. and watching him eat his words. Or better yet - filling up his office with Greenwave gift baskets until he can bear it no longer. Or taping his eyes open and forcing him to watch the 98 season DVD over and over. Or The Greatest Play Never Made (Tulane-LSU 2009). Or Alex Carlton kicking WIDE RIGHT!

I'm on a mission - I am gonna find this character and kill him with kindess! My goal is to one day do a SuperFan profile on Anonymous_Tulanian.

You just see.

Mike Is Right

UPDATE: So Mrs. Hullabaloo has learned that TPTB decided to work on some solutions to some items addressed in this post. The Universe Works in Mysterious Ways. I don't believe that when TPTB embarked on their current evaluation of ticket sales that they anticipated The Can Of Worms that they opened up, it's like the little dutch boy with his fingers in the levee. But TPTB have reached out to a spectrum of the Greenie Dat Nation and Things Are Happening. So stay tuned my little chickens.

I honestly cannot be bothered with journalistic pre-season speculation about this or that. So blog posts like this are few and far between for me.

'Cause first of all, my little pumpkins, I'm over Nakia Hogan's drivel. For those of you outside of the New Orleans bubble, your reaction is WHO? Yes, I agree - except that I live here and sometimes I can't avoid actually having to read him in the Times Pic.

Nakia can't even write a bit about "local" football camps without a) putting down Tulane and non-BCS schools or b) focusing the article as if he were employed by the rag in Baton Rouge.

And second of all, I just have to point out the obvious and tell it like it is: well over half of the keyboard jockeys who flaunt their sports illiteracy in print KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE TEAM WHICH THEY CHOSE TO DENIGRATE.

So the idiots who think they are so clever to write "Tulane deserves to be #119 in our countdown because they suck" without any actual knowledge of players or game plans - and like that Times Picayune writer who hosted the "Online Chats" for Tammy without bothering to even know the correct players names (like that little detail wouldn't be important in a "Chat with Fans"), are a complete waste of my time and effort.

and I don't have to point out the obvious that they are a complete waste of time for all other serious Greenie Dats who do amazing feats like know who the head coach is and do things like, I don't know: buy tickets and sit their behinds in seats season after season. And some of these Greenie Dats actually bring their friends and children and try to pass along the legacy of Tulane sports. A-ma-zing.

Sigh. So it's for these reasons why I write here with you my dear Greenie Dats. We're like the Greenie Dat Resistance. Or more aptly in our situation: the Greenie Dats enslaved in Scott Cowen's Egypt waiting for our Coaching Moses to lead us back to the Temple. Shalom Y'all.

A few weeks ago I - being the straightfoward person that I am - called out the owner of a Tulane Spirit Shop for not even being a member of TAF. If Doug Lichtenberger can get away with kicking back just $75, I think that every alumni could be asked to at least do the same. Especially those who run "Tulane Spirit Stores" but yet neither actually support the Wave nor write about them. (I have to add that while chastising him for being a slacker, I had pointed out that the Saints already have droves of bloggers, so he should focus his blogging energy on his alma mater.)

So our Facebook conversation went like this:

Mrs. Hullabaloo: Excuse me Mr. Spirit Store Owner I am calling you out.

Spirit Store Owner: I'm being interviewed for a Tulane alumni magazine. But your proposal sounds interesting. How do I become involved?

Mrs. Hullabaloo rolls her eyes inside because like I just don't understand how these little lambs lose their way in supporting their alma mater. But I trudge on and respond: Here's the link. You can donate $150 and be a member of the Football Excellence Club. Better Football=More Fans=More Spending at your Spirit Store. Genius, I know.

Spirit Store Owner: That is outstanding! Thank You. I am now an officially invested member of the Greenie Dat Nation.

I was, truly, ever grateful for his enthusiasm. Plus, this transaction took all of about 5 minutes of my day.

So how does this all relate to what Big Mike had to say to the Times Picayune today?

Here's the rub: Cowen has announced he is greenlighting the fundraising for a 25,000-30,000 seat stadium.

I preface by declaring that am SO struggling with looking a gift horse in the mouth because while I am thrilled it's even being considered: 25,000 seats is a joke. I think at the very low end 35,000 is the very least that makes sense to go through all the effort. Otherwise: just upgrade Gormley and let's call it a day. [y'all I apologize for back tracking. I will eventually get to my point]. 25,000 seats is like sending out Black Tie invitations to a wedding and then having a cash bar. at some place like the Crystal Plantation.

Why oh why can't Tulane be upfront, come up with a Good idea and follow it up with a Good plan. All of the ideas have to be absurd and shrouded in secrecy among The Powers That Be (TPTB). and the plans have to be rolled out backasswards. and include pissing off everyone who wants to help. and then when TPTB can no longer shovel the inertia, TPTB come to realize that they did it wrong and then change everything at the last minute to do it the way it should have been done from the beginning, but they've shaved off that sliver of the fan or alumni base who decide they'd rather tune out. And then the piece of resistance is to come out and blame the fans. Or blame Coach Rick Jones. Remember THAT episode?

So we're like WTF, I give up.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat with the next item to mess up.

This happens with everything. Oh Mrs. Hullabaloo has got some stories. So I will go through the stages of 1. my mind just blowing up cause what took place was really messed up. 2. Then I'll cool down. 3. I'll remember how much I can't stand purple and gold. 4. Army will shank a field goal or Nick Pepitone strikes out LSU to win 8-7 and so then 5. I shake it off and ready for the next spectacle.

We, the true Greenie Dat fans, have outlived so many generations of TPTB and horrid Coaching decisions, that when TPTB open their mouths it's like that Snoopy teacher. Ok, yes we hear your noise, we are simply trying to outlive another one of you. Please let us enjoy our Greenwave in peace and give Jason Rollins a raise. Thank you. That is all.

Which brings me back to today's absurdity of fundraising for the Football Stadium. This is what Big Mike had to say in the Times Picayune:

"....Tulane relies on private donations and won’t proceed without at least 90 percent (!) of the funding secured. That’s a point of contention among many fans, including local booster club president Mike Johnston of the Greenbackers.

“I’ve never heard of any construction project in the history of mankind and time going back to the pyramids that demands they have all the money upfront before they start a project,” Johnston said.

It’s great that you are going to go find the Yahoo! (co-founder David Filo) for $10 million, the old widow (Phyllis Taylor) with $100 million or whatever, that’s wonderful but if you started a campaign with the grass roots fans they do have and you say, ‘Hey, we want a $1,000 or we want $1,500 pledges,’ I think you would find people would respond to that. But they won’t do it,” Johnston said.

Johnston said Dickson might have better luck securing a $20 million naming donor — something even the New Orleans Saints couldn’t muster for the Superdome — if he could show that donor the vast amount of common man support first. [!!!]

Dickson has traveled all over the country, inserting himself in previously unknown waters to raise funds for the football project as well as the Tulane Athletic Fund. He’s found himself on television series sets in Los Angeles and in investment banking board rooms on the East Coast."

Yes, big money is important DUH. But this is like the Medievil Days of the Clinton Limousine Fundraising. (I'm a liberal and a democrat, get over it, so I'm allowed to comment on this, ok?)

Great TPTB, go out and find someone who could care less but is willing to throw a pile of money down a black hole. And then what?

TPTB needs to come up with a 50 State Plan of "vested fans" and not just a Hollywood and Wall Street Plan of people who have no clue and won't ever attend a game in their life. You need both. and strongly. Regardless of the size of the darn thing, you can't have 90% financed by .001% of the fan base and then lock out everybody else.

Case in Point: Mrs. Hullabaloo suggested an X's and O's Summer Camp years ago to open up to casual fans to come in and experience what being a greenwave athlete is about. So TPTB co-opted my idea (yes they did) and advertised it to donors only. For $250 or whatever it was you can come do this. Guess what? Nobody bit. So then the week before they opened it up to everyone and attendance improved, but still there were bunches of fans who didn't hear anything about it and would have loved to have gone.

It's this kind of mentality of how we got into our current challenge in the first place. Tulane relied on a pile of money of some old blue bloods, so it didn't matter if there weren't a zillion fans. Well then the blue bloods kicked the can and now there's an atrophied donor base. Well, how can that be?!

My example above of the Spirit Store owner is CLASSIC. If nudged properly, I bet you that he would have forked over $1000 for the stadium. and while you're at it Coach Lichtenburger might be persuaded to donate $85 to TAF instead of just $75. (I just think this is hilarious, and I'm sorry for ribbing on Coach L, but really? $75?) Why couldn't TPTB round up a Possee of Stadium Pioneers so we can all go out as ambassadors of the Greenie Dat Spirit and bundle $1000 donations from our individual networks? I'm a big believer that if you don't ask, you're not going to get. and if you say You Can't, well then You Won't.

I think this would require outside of the box thinking. And since TPTB only want to build a 25,000 seat box this is gonna be very interesting to see how it all pans out.

So anyways, I have some barbeque rib recipes for my next post, so tune in. Love you Greenie Dats!

I'm a Fan of Two Teams

Tulane and Whoever Plays LSU.

I swear. Saturday after Tulane pummeled UCF in baseball 20-5 and invoking the mercy rule, we cheered the Tide on to victory over BRCC. It was a glorious day. It is always hilarious listening to the pompous commentators predicting a tiger rally only to just keep digging themselves a hole. It was a farce, an aberration, they were playing freshmen, the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, it's a midweek game. Whatever. You lost and it was delicious.

So I ran across this list of jokes, and laughed myself silly today. I'm only going to repost the g-rated ones. There's some very unlady like, yet very amusing, jokes. Click on the link though and share them far and wide.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Baton Rouge?
A: "New Orleans: 87 Miles"

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Q: What does the average Louisiana State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a LSU, a Tulane grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting “This is for the Fighting Irish!” as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for the Gators!”

Seeing this, the Tulane grad walked over and shouted "This one is for the Green Wave!" and pushed the Tigers fan off the side of the mountain.

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Q: What do you call a LSU player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!

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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good LSU joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a LSU grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a LSU grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a LSU grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

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An LSU Tigers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

(Mrs. Hullabaloo, that was terrible and unladylike! I know, I feel sorry for the frog)

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Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: In an LSU classroom. That's the last place you would find a football player.

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Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the LSU Tigers?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

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Q: How do you get a Louisiana State University grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

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It was reported that LSU head football coach Les Miles will only be dressing twenty players for the Tulane game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

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Q: Why do Louisiana State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Louisiana State University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

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One day in an elementary school in Baton Rouge, LA, a teacher asks her class if the LSU Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Tulane Green Wave "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Green Wave fan, my mom is a Green Wave fan, I guess that makes me a Green Wave fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a LSU fan."

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Q. What did the LSU graduate say to the Tulane graduate?
A. "May I take your order, please?"

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Q: Why don't LSU Tigers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

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One foggy night, a Tulane fan and a LSU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near New Orleans. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The LSU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I'm lucky to be alive!”
Likewise, the Green Wave fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived. The LSU fan walks over to the Green Wave fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.” The Green Wave fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck.”
The Green Wave fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Tiger fan, “I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Tiger fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Tiger fan hands it back to the Green Wave fan and says, “Your turn!”
The Green Wave fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up.”


My favorite shot from Tulane's 2005 trip to Omaha for the CWS (big mike of the greenbackers):