Mired in Bitterness and Disillusion

It's Sunday during football season and I know that I should not be so cynical on God's Day.

But it makes me sad when my reaction to last night's game was "hmmmm...what's the difference now, exactly?" 128 yards of penalties and 8 yards of rushing. Eight! So, like why did we go through the upheavals and drama 10 months ago demanding heads on platters? For this?!

Plus this Isaac edition blog post is made all the more difficult in that I am typing on an Ipad with Cox having decided to take down our perfectly functioning service last night in order to cause additional aggravation and burden in my life.

When Rutgers scored the late touchdown, Booty and I were terrible fans and went to polish off our ice chest from tailgating. I turned on the radio only to hear that our score went from 6 to 12. Clearly, we couldn't possibly have managed to march down the field twice and score two field goals. Which left the only logical possibility that we had indeed scored a Touchdown and then somehow managed the additional indignity of missing the Extra Point. But how?

When Coach Hullabaloo joined us after the game let out, he broke it to us that the missed point wasn't just your garden variety shank wide right or wide left. Oh but No. We made sure to include a blocked kick in our game script. For good measure. Just to ensure our humiliation was complete.

As Coach Hullabaloo said, one thing Tulane really excels at, what we are best known for: diligently finding new and extraordinary ways to score less points. That and our prowress when it comes to logistics. Like how much of a BAD idea was hosting an institutionalized Apartheid Tailgate in Champions Square? Where we couldn't even rent a tent if we had wanted to. And what was most egregious: holding Riptide's costume hostage for no truly legitimate reason that couldn't have reasonable been solved should someone had really wanted to solve it. Because like how embarrassing is it that Rutgers manages to pack Scarlet Knight from New Jersey, yet it's somehow an imposition to go 3 miles to Claiborne?

So, as you can surmise, I refuse to abide by the post-mortem spin offered by our professional sports commentators that we should be relieved that the team didn't tailspin and allow the score to get quadrupled on us. Well, alright then. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be thankful for that?

Ya know...the last time I can recall being genuinely (and not desperately or cynically) hopeful about a comeback was for the 2008 UTEP game. For the better part of the last 3 years, when I glance at the game clock, my thoughts are usually "hmmm, 10 minutes left in the game. Yeah, uh, that's not going to happen." Not with our signature glacial offense we can't seem to shake. The last time TU had an exciting offense in my recent memory was the Rice game in 2010.

Because OMG on Up The Middle.

Yes, I understand all of the travesties that have befallen us over the offseason. We are constantly playing freshman, year in year out. But at what point was someone going to toss their clipboard on the ground, take one of the zebras by the collar, and give him a talking to? The homeside was just gonna have to stomach watching Robert Kelley get swung about by his face mask the whole game?

And Mrs. Hullabaloo demands to know who is responsible for calling Up The Middle on First and Twenty-two?

And don't even get me started on the gameday programs! Of course it had my favorite wave momma's stepson featured, which caused me much delight (on top of his could-have-been-a-gamechanger interception). But did you notice that Rutgers and Houston teamed up to play this game? Yes, sir. Said so on the depth chart page. Tulane was playing Houston's special teams. Rutgers took the offense and defense duties though. Imagine this new twist to NCAA College Football. Maybe they are on to something in the Big East.

And while I was admiring the cutest portrait on the planet - I'm not being facetious, I genuinely LOVED LOVED LOVED the beaming picture of Coach Johnson and his beautiful wife, who is truly the sweetest woman ever - I noticed that #86 from Memphis has transferred? Errr? When did that transaction happen? And if so, why isn't he on the roster?

My dear esteemed members of the Greenie Dat Nation, it is my sincere and fervent prayer that one day, I will eat my words, that this is a long, forgotten episode, and that Tulane becomes an offense juggernaut. Or at least competitive and less error-prone. And that our safeties don't have the highest tackling statistics for the team. And when a receiver, one, just one, and I'm not particular about which one really, actually manages to keep his fingers and hands on a football. And when Up The Middle is retired.

I do have some positive commentary, I promise, just not today.

And P.S. please accept my apologies for not being consoled that the rest of Ex-Cusa lost all their games too. That just means we will suck more, when we lose to them if we continue this trajectory.

Tulane Tailgating Season May Commence

Come Aboard, We're Expecting You.....

Don't you worry cyberfans!  Mrs. Hullabaloo has got this Isaac thing all under control.

So today Coach Hullabaloo boarded up the house and I went to my office to pack and raise things  up. A vertical evacuation of my wares, if you will.  Athletics dispatched the Greenwave Football team to Birmingham so that they can continue practice before Rutgers.  I kind of think that was a dumb move to exhaust the team by trapsing about the countryside and driving back through a tropical storm. But nobody asked me my opinion.

Anyways, I had so many pressing items on my checklist to tend to to prepare for the approaching hurricane. Starting with this...

Putting decals on new serving pieces.  Too cute, right?  I found the blue bucket at Homeport in Burlington, Vermont.  And I think I picked up the white utensil caddy at Target....

and then I completed this....

Updated floral arrangement (which, I'm thinking I might add some cute penants or something to give it more height). I do love this vase so.  I comissioned it from Cindy who runs a traveling monogram tchotckie business at the wholesale gift shows.

Yes, these projects were dire. I couldn't just leave them unattended.  Tailgating starts in less than 5 days.

Hurricane Schmurricane!

Tablescaping for Football Season

I would love to post more pictures from our tea to show you all the fabulous tablescaping we did, but I am waiting for the Tulane photographer to finally release all of the images. So in the meatime I'll post some pictures of cute things I have been inspired by this pre-season. This cookie bouquet featured here, was lovingly commissioned and purchased by Preacherman's wife for our tea.  All the TU sports are represented, it was the cutest thing.

Great News! Coach Hullabaloo and I FINALLY got our season tickets.
 

Better late than never ya know.  It's not like Tulane Football season could like actually begin without us.

Of course, nothing can ever happen in my life without an appropriate dose of drama.  And yes, it took a childsized temper tantrum from me to get what I wanted, ha!  I wonder if I should go park myself in a certain office at Gibson Hall and have another throwdown tantrum and see what happens? 

My friend, whom I'll refer to as Ace's Mom, is involved with another very lovely organization at Tulane that has to have their guest lists reviewed by Gibson Hall.  Of course, their events are held at the exquisite Zemurray Mansion in the gated Audubon Place donated to Tulane for the use by the president of our fine institution. So you don't want unsavory elements being given open access to the most prestigious addresses in all of New Orleans.  But I wonder if Gibson Hall actually knows who I am and that I spout off on this blog the way I do.  Cause when I found out that their guest lists were reviewed, I was amazed I was ever let in over there!  Me, who called out Schott Cowen for attempting to feed us fuzzy math at the Newcomb Alumnae Board meeting in January 2006. (yes indeed, and he even asked me if I was insinuating that he was a liar. well, yeah, I was. but whatever, we're finally getting an OCS so I'm over it.)

Anyways, back to my story: what happened was that we, Coach and Mrs. Hullabaloo, received this in the mail initially.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can imagine my reaction.  Here I had been watching all my twitter and facebook friends post lovely pictures of their season tickets full of envy that they got theirs first.  I'd run home every afternoon to check our mail only to be disappointed and wonder where the hell mine were and what was taking so dern long.  Then I get a text from Coach Hullabaloo with the picture of the plain tickets.  Son of a Biscut(!) did I fly off the handle.

So Coach and I both whined like whiny babies to Justin at the ticket office and after at first offering a consolation pair of the pretty season ticketholder sheets, but blank, he changed his mind and offered to reprint ours from scratch. I would think so, ya know.  Don't want me bitching about the egregiousness of this situation on my blog or something.

So y'all - 12 days and counting!  Tulane Tailgating season begins!! Hoo-ray Hoo-ray Varsa Varsa tee-ay!

And y'all, Nell found these perfect TU inspired plates at Sam's!

Listen, men have their fantasy football leagues and whatnot and we women fans worry about the tailgating nest looking fabulous. Because men think that parties just spontaneously happen because thinking about and planning details makes their brains hurt.  But honestly, I just can not understand those random women who find football season annoying or who don't understand what is going on in the game.  What is wrong with your DNA woman?!! 4 chances to complete 10 yards! Air game or Ground Game! First Down means you Move the Chains! So with that I bring you some of my offseason inspiration. and some delicious recipes that I can't wait to have.

Cuteness from an Ole Miss function attended by my adorable friend Miss Glitter, which served as inspiration for our football tea.

Which speaking of Ole Miss, I have quite the quandry: traditional banana pudding which is always delicious or Nutter Butter banana pudding? Lawd have mercy, how genius was this idea?!

NUTTER BUTTER BANANA PUDDING
straight from Southern Living

3 cups milk
3 large eggs
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
5 medium-size ripe bananas
1 (1-lb.) package of nutter butters or peanut butter sandwich cookies
2 cups sweetened whipped cream
Garnishes: crumbled nutter butters, dried banana chips, fresh mint sprigs, caramel

Whisk together the milk, eggs, sugar and flour in a large saucepan on the stove to make pudding. Med-low heat.  We don't want burnt pudding now. Whisk that sucker for 15 to 20 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat; stir in butter and vanilla until butter is melted and combined.  Put the saucepan on ice to cool.  Pay attention to it every once in a while and stir it until the pudding is chilled throughout.

Take your serving dish and make alternate layers of pudding, bananas, nutter butters with the final layer being pudding. And then top this mound of magnificence with whipped cream. Possibly drizzle with caramel if you want to really sprout some horns.  Before serving sprinkle the top with crumbled nutter butters, dried banana chips and fresh mint sprigs.

At homecoming last year, Preacherman brought the most awesome banana pudding in the history of the world.  It was sooo good y'all I wanted to scream.  Here's the recipe:

PREACHERMAN'S NANER PUDDING

30 Vanilla Wafers
3 Ripe Bananas
Vanilla Pudding (below)
Whipped Cream (below)

Alternate layers of pudding like making a pudding lasagne.

Vanilla Puddding ingredients
1/3 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine the sugar, corn starch and salt. Add milk and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Add vanilla and continue to cook for 2 to 3 minutes.

Whipped Cream ingredients
1 cup heavy whipping cream
3 tablespoons confectioners' sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract  (knowing Booty Judy, she might suggest spiking this with banana liqueur! hmmmm....not a bad idea.... )

Chill a small mixing bowl and your mixing beaters by putting them in the fridge till cold. and y'all this was no average banana pudding, so you must follow every step of this copiously. With your chilled beaters and bowl, beat the whipping cream until it just begins to thicken slightly.  Don't mix too much because it will turn to butter as has happened to me on many ocassions. Fold in confectioners' sugar and vanilla; Mix until soft peaks form.

Another cute tablescape from the Fresh Chicks Design blog....

So how cute is this superbowl placesetting and tablescape from Denise over at So Many Tables?

She's got some other major cuteness there too, so I added her to my blog roll.  I will totally need to give her honorary Southern-ness for her clever and adorable themed tablescaping.

Also, just LOVED, loved this place setting from A Big Story blog.  Seriously, why can't I find some of these cute things at the dollar store when I go?

BROCCOLI AND GRAPE PASTA SALAD for the ECU game
adjusted from Southern Living

1 cup chopped pecans, toasted
half of a 16oz  package bowtie pasta
1 pound fresh broccoli
1 cup mayonnaise
third cuppa sugar
third cuppa diced red onion
third cuppa red wine vinegar
salt n peppa
2 cups seedless red grapes, halved
8 cooked turkey bacon slices, crumbled
maybe some chopped green onions and some shredded carrot if you want
perhaps some crumbled blue cheese might be fun here too

Toast your pecans using the method of your preference (oven or stove).  Keep an eye on them, or you can run the risk of burning them like I have been known to do.

This nex step is also real hard: prepare pasta according to package directions.  While your pasta's a'boilin, chop up your broccoli, separating the florets from the stems.  chop up the stems as finely as you can, and chop the florets into small pieces too. Or if you are lazy and impatient like I am - toss the broccoli into a food processor and be done with it.

Next up, whisk together the mayo, sugar, vinegar, salt n peppa.  If you are super pressed for time or just want to do a semi-home made thing, I think you could probably use poppy seed dressing or marzetti's coleslaw dressing just the same.  Add broccoli, hot cooked pasta, and grapes, and stir with dressing to coat. Cover and chill, about 3 hours. Add crumbled bacon and pecans just before serving.

The Karma of a Football Fan

So just wouldn’t you know it!?

Last week Mrs. Hullabaloo and some awesome Tulane fan-ettes got together and put us together a rockin’ afternoon tea to welcome the wives of the new football staff to New Orleans.

I’ll post more pictures soon, I promise!

It was an absolutely dee-lightful afternoon, a “great success”, with much merriment enjoyed by all.  Funnily, one of the wives mentioned that she knew when she walked in that she would just loooove us because we served Sweet Tea Vodka right alongside actual Earl Grey tea.  We love traditions and all here, but who doesn’t want to kick things up a notch?

I loved, loved meeting all of the wives, but wouldn’t ya know that I particularly enjoyed having the pleasure of meeting the daughter-in-law/wife of a coaching family I had mentally and in writing ripped to shreds for embarrassing us. And whose husband I have held minimal expectations in potentially leading us out of our Football Egypt.  I completely admit that I have prematurely arrived at this infantile opinion, without actually knowing a thing about his coaching philosphy, his body of work and based solely on where his stops have been prior to Tulane.

Anyways, I was all prepared to have this preconception of her based solely on marital affiliation, but she was simply just the awesomest, and genuinely seemed like someone that I would befriend immediately in real life.

Sigh, just my karma!

So I stand (or write ...oh, whatever) before you as a fallible human being with opinions who may be proved wrong, incomplete, controversial, what have you.  There. I have heaved this boulder off of my chest.

What’s more: in addition to having this karmic intervention, G-d also sent down another calamity to offset the loss (sniff! There just aren't enough tissues for my purple and gold tears!) of TAFKATHB. TAFKATHB?  The Athlete Formerly Known As The Honey Badger. He’s unfortunately got all up in the weeds ya know. har har!

Lawd, I just laughed and laughed in the Clearview Bed, Bath and Beyond last week.  Now stuck with all their displays of skunk pillows, skunk decor and skunk plastic crap from China.  Talk about one upping Les Miles’ grass eatin’ ways.  Peggy even came up with the most hilarious and clever of all retorts on TAFKATHB if there ever was one:  Cause Honey Badger TOKES What He Wants! Get it? Ha! genius, right?!

Well, now we, in the Greenie Dat Nation, are in mourning and eating our words.

 

Lawd. Trent Mackey, done got himself wrapped up in an entire heap of unbelievable crud right off the heels of TAFKATHB coming back down to reality that he cannot even have the option of going to McNeese. As a failed drug test in the NCAA means you can’t play nowhere. For a year. Of course that now means that Glenn Guilbeau and whatsit other commentators are breathlessly speculating/pressuring that Les Miles now has to take TAFKATHB back in a year because just what kind of message is this signaling to other New Orleans area recruits that if they break NCAA rules, Red Stick will just turn their back on them and choose instead to uphold the spirit of the rules and collegiate sportsmanship.  The nerve(!) of Les Miles for having a modicum of responsibility. (I swear on my cats this line of reasoning was expounded post-mortem on WWL for hours upon hours).

Anyways, so back at our glass ranch: I preface my discussion of Trent Mackey’s tribulation by saying that I don’t know nothing other than what is being generated in the gossip mill. That and what is being reported on breathlessly by Miz Nunez in the Sometimes Picayune.  But believe you me, I tried.  I worked all kinds of angles on getting the nitty gritty on that burglary.   I pressed every single one of my contacts in the undergraduate population at Tulane, including some who are friends with players.  I even know a work study student worker at TUPD. and No Ma’am, there was just no cracking that burglary story at any level.

I guess, um, spouting off the way I do on this blog would um limit my access to insider information, ha! Quelle dommage....

And ya know, it was some kinda top secret situation going on because I even had players’ moms ask me what I knew.  Information about the incident was just sketchy at first because the robbery was believed to allegedly be targeted at a “football player” and instead this poor co-ed got picked on instead, but there was not a peep out of anybody about any further details.

Meanwhile, everybody in Uptown is scared out of their wits, new students are twittering their concerns, etcetera, etcetera.  So of course, the players mommas panic about their children being potential targets and with kids these days who never answer their phones, return voicemails or generally keep in touch with their parents just results in parents then panicking even more.  And unfortunately, #1 gossip queen here, had nothing.

So. I really have nothing to add to the discussion on Trent Mackey other than I hope and pray that this is some messed up situation of the alleged perpetrator just talking out his mouth to take the heat off himself and that Trent Mackey has indeed not just thrown away an NFL career and a Tulane degree for $500 or whatever it is that this senseless stupid burglary netted.  And if it is the other way around, I hope and pray that some maturity is rained down onto his misguided soul pronto in order to move on with his life in a successful and peaceful manner. Amen.

Which to all of you haters who may bring up Toney Converse, or Lawrence Burl or Ray Boudreaux – here’s the deal.  Toney Converse, from what I have been told, had a pretty crappy home life and when Tommy Bowden left, he lost his support system at Tulane and just fell into a spiral, left school all together and then got caught up.  He used his time in the penitentary wisely and has, as far as I know, used his time constructively and even had a work out with the VooDoo recently to resurrect his athletic promise.  Much love and angels to Toney .

Ray Boudreaux was defending himself and his cousins from a group of bully gangbangers who were harassing them.  He sought help from law enforcement and bouncers and nobody would pay no mind to what was happening to him and his family.  So he did what I think probably 99% of the male population would have done under similar circumstances. or At least what the bumper stickers on the trucks of certain haters say they would do (see “Peace The Old Fashioned Way” or “We Don’t Dial 911”).

 

What’s more, Ray didn’t drag a U.S. Marine out of a car for honking at him in a parking lot and beat in his head with his foot.  The worst thing about the Ray Boudreaux situation was that he had a completely incompetent lawyer who somehow managed to have the actual footage of the entire ordeal tossed out of evidence on a technicality.  Because if you actually watch everything, and not just the tragic ending, you can see plain as day what the situation was. So much love and angels to Ray.

Lawrence Burl on the otherhand – I just roll my eyes at this and whisper a prayer for his guidance to the straight and narrow.  Here’s the son of a former New Orleans Chief of Police (yes, indeed. the top dog at NOPD), who was on the National Honor Society (my chickens, even I didn’t attain this lofty goal), who had a full ride to an elite Southern Ivy, and athletic promise, who allegedly decided to drive around Uptown, under the influence, in a busted up truck without plates, proper headlights, a dirty scale, a gun, and bags of cannibis.  Now that is what you call serious lack of judgment.  So, “next man up!” is what I gots to say here. And please, use your time wisely to hopefully get it together in the future.

As a side note: Do y’all know that I’ve had to bail Coach Hullabaloo out of O.P.P. twice?! Well, I’m being overly dramatic here.  No bail was actually ever needed or necessary.  Coach Hullabaloo had stupid outstanding traffic infractions that for whatever reason were deemed to be on the level of high crimes and misdemeanors by NOPD. But which, nonetheless, scared me to no end and caused me to place hysterical sobbing phone calls to well-placed friends who then placed additional phone calls to the levers of power in order to arrange for Coach Hullabaloo to be released before he was ever even processed.  Yes, I went through this twice and more than enough embarrassment for this lifetime, thank you very much.  Coach Hullabaloo does indeed have some hilarious stories (which are funny now) about characters he encountered during his sojourns at the O.P.P.  And as a seasoned professional of incarceration, he even figured out how “not” to get processed by pretending to go to the bathroom while they were moving groups along from the general intake holding area into processing.  So he was always cycled back in with a “fresh batch”, if you will, until he got fetched to be brought out to liberty. This knowledge came in quite handy for the second time he got picked up.  Y’all this is not a joke, I am serious!

Anyways, this “next man up!” attitude is sadly, kinda like our mantra in the Greenie Dat Nation these days: Erleens Darkwa has a high ankle sprain, Michael Pierce didn’t make grades, and we practically have to pull some random peoples off the street to play Center because we can’t seem to keep nobody on the offensive line.  or Defensive line neither. Lawd, let us pray.

Y’all such is the hand which G-d is dealing us.  It’s none different or worse than what other gridiron calamities we’ve had to trudge through. Same thing, different season.  But at least we can have ourselves some cocktails, some good friends, and y’all ..... I have to tell you that Angel and CJ Johnson are the most chipper peoples on this good Earth.  They are just delightful people! Angel Johnson’s  mom came to our tea in the most a-dorable white church outfit with this gorgeous white hat.  It was the cutest thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of admiring!  So I, thankfully, do not envision Coach Johnson turning around and shifting blame to the fans for our losses.

My biggest beef about our personal tragedies, though, is that the ULL chickens are all justa high fiving themselves and heaving sighs of relief that they have dodged a bullet with Mackey out.

Because ya know they just wanna make the following results a distant and hazy memory:

1997: 56-0, The Greenies. yes ma’am. fifty-six to nothin. at their house.

1998: 72-20, The Greenies.  At this game, Coach Hullabaloo and I started chanting “We Want 80!  We Want 80!” har har!

1999: 48-32. The Greenies.  Now y’all. I am positive that I was fully lubricated with Superdome Bloody Marys for this game, but I honestly can’t remember how this score got so close.  I do remember throwing Mardi Gras beads after each touchdown, or maybe that was the year before?

Anyways, I am fully prepared for the bullying that will inevitably ensue at ULL tailgates because you know with their "epic" bowl win, they’re now like a completely unstoppable juggernaut. or something. The House of Hudspeth. As a matter of fact, I think we should just not even bother showing up and give all them cajuns little tiaras for being so awesome in every way.

Not.

Our Ability To Accessorize

A very clever line from one of my favorite movies: "what separates us from animals is our ability to acces-so-rize."

Yes ma'am.

So I am west coast shopping this week and found this adorable little number at Old Navy

Yes, another store I could shop at on the westbank, but had to travel 2000 miles to finally take time to visit. But for $20? Buy it! Very cute for Tulane Gameday methinks.

I also found a pair of these adorable sandals at H&M

(H&M coming to Metairie soon, although I'll probably still shop at one out of town still, ugh traffic in Metry is just too brutal).

Sadly, these a-dorable tassel sandals are no longer on the H&M website online, so you'll just need to suffer and be jealous that I picked up a pair.

Of course wouldn't you know that during my adorable trip out here with the west coast hippies, who should I befriend on a ferry trip across San Francisco Bay? A Marshall Fan!  Lawd have mercy.

She was very sweet (yes I just typed this), so I humored her and chatted her up.  She was so sweet that I almost forgot how we can go about our season just fine and then Marshall shows up and all kinds of calamities happen.

Earlier this season when Marshall arrived, we took 2 out of 3, and we should have swept.  But game 3 on Sunday they played for pride and we, well, I don't know what quite we did, but it wasn't baseball, that's for sure. But it was either Friday or Saturday of the series when Marshall was attempting to stay in the game, their ever-obnoxious fans came down from their designated seats and sat behind the first base, screaming and being just awful.

Apparently they were also using distasteful language and Tulane season ticketholders who had rightful seats in that section were telling them to can it.  Words got heated and next thing you know - fists come out. From women Marshall fans. Maybe they were in drag, I couldn't confirm it for you, but they looked like women from the third base side.

Security had to be summoned, break apart the sides, bounce Tulane fans along with the thundering thighs herd and then not do a thing about these Marshall people not in their own seats.  We were so peturbed.

Anyways, recalling this dreary episode is putting a damper on my shopping here, so I'll share an idea with you: baklava cheesecake.  Sounds totally genius right?  Might as well call tailgating menu 2012, a study in cheesecake....ha!

I found this adorable cookie cutter during that ferry ride excursion, so cute - it will be perfect for my next Day of the Dead themed tailgate party.

Purchase here on Amazon.com if you'd like your own set.

Oh, and in other more relavant news: We Win. Nimbys can just suck it.  And you have to read this Quads and Sods article from Nola Defender to comprehend what we were up against!  Didn'tya know that Tulane was funding terrorist helicopter flyovers on Audubon Boulevard in their aggressive campaign to stop the IZD? and that these Nimbys left the tea room completely trash strewn afterwards. Ironic on so many levels.  Entitled!!

One of the funniest things from this stadium forum was Booty and I just busted out laughing inappropriately during the Q&A.  In addition to carrying on and on about trash and roving mobs of college co-eds defacing our neighborhoods, they wanted to know what Tulane was going to do to stop underage drinking.

Judy and I both choked with laughter.  Because if Tulane can figure out that, I'm sure that every community across our grand nation would like in on that secret.  Should we assign babysitters to each member of the undergraduate class? For reals!

OMG, if these people could've outlawed Mardi Gras, I think that they probably would.

A Sopranos Inspired Tailgate

How absolutely clever is this?!? A Soprano's inspired tailgate video for a Giants-Bills game. I love it! Way more fun and clever to expend off season energy with this than spouting off infantile and inappropriate "jokes" (you know who you are) and then hiding cowardly behind a keyboard all day......just sayin!




Pay attention to the opening credits, it lists some of the players and coaches I believe.  At first I thought it was the names of the tailgate krewe members scrolling by, but then I saw John Paul Losman scroll across the screen. JP was our wonder boy QB at Tulane who was still playing with the Bills back then.  He used to lob these heart attack inducing air balls out to Jajuan Dawson or Mewelde Moore for these insane touchdowns. Man, those games were fun.

Anyways, so in homage to the mancav-ey nature of a Soprano's tailgate I present to you, this fabulous Tulane Grilling Spatula/Tong set, which Coach Hullabaloo will love because I bought it for him.

How fab, right? You can purchase it here on Amazon.

So as you can see, I've been whiling away the dead period of summer with more shopping and more menu planning for a change (oh but you love it! admit it!).

Fall practices don't start for another month and the only drama left to ponder is what level of petulance the "save our neighborhood" nimbys will roll out at the next community forum over the stadium.  The next forum is about gameday arrangements and tailgating, right up Mrs. Hullabaloo's alley.  According to Preacherman and Booty, the nimbys have just been out the box obnoxious at these forums.  Well, the only thing that they have left in their arsenal is to remain immature and petulant.  Their last gasp.

Which honestly, between these nimbys and the LSU types who ruin perfectly lovely dinner parties (another story for another day) because of their infantile brains - it keeps me laser focused on busying myself with tailgating preparations. If only as a passive aggressive gesture to keep them completely annoyed while I fly above.  eeehh, minor distractions....


One of the things I came up with was how cu-te some "Bada Bing!" printed koozies would be the Rutgers game, right?

Or how about a poker card game during tailgate?

Check out these poker card guards on Ebay.....

So while I brainstorm through this Sopranos angle, I was inspired to add stuffed artichokes and Peggy's delicious red pepper dip to the line up. Cannolis might be fun too, or amaretto cheesecake with almond crust if I can gently coax Red into making it.  Red is such an awesome tailbaketress. ......we shall see how carried away Coach Hullabaloo and my fellow tailgatresses will actually allow me to get.

So with Rutgers coming together nicely, I christened our Rice tailgate, as "Greek-Mex."  Yes, a nod to the hellenic culture of the city of expressways. Our adorable Ta'Molly has wanted to generously reciprocate for all our tailgate hostessing by offering to bring in Omaha steaks to one of our tailgates. We are SO excited about the possibility - so I thought a make-ahead Omaha brisket would be perfect. and then I thought to expanded our Greek-Mex theme tailgate menu with Lamb sausage (or some kinda sausage) and BBQ sauce, because Texans just love their BBQd sausages.


I also thought about this fantastic cilantro dressing to go with a green salad.   Nell made this dressing for a visit we paid recently and I can attest is awesome and the instructions are fool-proof easy.

NELL'S CREAMY CILANTRO DRESSING
Packet of Ranch Dressing Mix
cuppa mayo
halfa bunch head of Cilantro, minus stalks
one jalapeno, minus rib and seeds
Salsa verde sauce (love this semi-homemade shortcut in lieu of worrying about lime, garlic and tomatillo preparations)
cuppa Buttermilk

Whiz everything together in a blender. You will want to sip this from a straw, because it is muy delicioso.

Finally I thought about easy menu items like dips, that won't frighten my fellow tailgatresses for difficulty: how about warm spinach dip that can be greek-ified and topped with feta? Almost like spanakopita. Because who doesn't like spinach dip?  Especially with salsa and corn chips like how they serve it at Houston's.  Yum-o.

And then I hit the motherlode when I ran across this idea: Greek Layered Dip.  Totally genius.

So just some background, about this layered dip inspiration.  It is no secret that Mrs. Hullabaloo is anti-layer dip.  Yes, I am and I don't care who knows it.  It's sold pre-packaged at the grocery and honestly, they're gross - usually either gritty tasting from the cheese being fridge burned or watery and mushy from the vegs being cut up and sitting around too long. Gag me.  I have yet to try a store-bought layer dip that tastes worthy of calorie consumption in my admittedly snobby opinion.  One of the most epic fights of Coach and Mrs. Hullabaloo's storied marriage was over layered dip.

Yes, indeed.  It was my very first attempt to host Thanksgiving dinner chez Hullabaloo.  So I composed a very elegant dinner menu and Coach Hullabaloo, being a man and prone to reverting to primal behavior, springs it on me that he wanted - wait for it - green bean casserole and seven layer dip. His thanksgiving memories would be dashed and incomplete with out it.  Quelle trashy, right?  I just could not bear the thought of opening up a can of cream of mushroom soup and soggy and limp canned green beans as a once a year treat.

So here we were in the middle of Winn Dixie and I absoloute drew the line in the sand at seven layer dip. How declassé. Not At My Thanksgiving Dinner Table merci beaucoup. Coach and Mrs. Hullabalo had quite the row in the middle of the store let me tell you.  I was not embarassed to be standing my ground amidst frenzied Thanksgiving shoppers.  Strangers could look at us all they wanted, over my dead and lifeless body was I serving canned refried beans with my Waterford china, thank. you.  So to make a long story short (because this story took another tragic turn), after our battle royale we came home to find that the cats had feasted on our defrosting turkey. OMG, right?  Well in the end, as a stalemate over the green beans portion of the menu, I found this amazing recipe for made from scratch green beans with frizzled leeks and portabella sherry sauce from the Hearty Boys, a gay couple from Chicago.  It is awe-some and Coach Hullabaloo humors me every year by devouring it at Thanksgiving. And now we have an interesting story to share.  Anyways the moral of all of this is that, once you cook something properly, store bought layered dip is insulting.  That, and don't leave poultry unattended.

So before you all think I'm completely terrible to Coach Hullabaloo by denying his mancav-ey urges for layered dip: for his fourtieth birthday celebration I made traditional seven layered dip for him that was "as from scratch" as possible. and it was good. so there.

Now, here, a greek layered dip that is Mrs. Hullabaloo-worthy

LAYERED GREEK DIP
a 10 ounce container of roasted red pepper hummus
cuppa fresh baby spinach, roughly chopped
halfa cuppa sundried tomaters, reconstituted and roughly chopped
cucumber, peeled, seeded and chopped
halfa red onion, chopped
quarter cup crumbled feta cheese
quarter cup crumbled chevre goat cheese
handful sliced and pitted kalamata olives
if you are adventurous, some chopped peperoncini peppers or chopped fresh parsley
quarter cup toasted pine nuts

layer hummus at the bottom of your dish or platter and then sprinkle remaining ingredients by layer with pine nuts at top. Make ahead and keep cool til serving.

AMARETTO CHEESECAKE
2 cups sliced almonds, toasted
1 cup sugar, divided
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
3 1/2 (8 oz) packs of cream cheese, room temp and soft
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
3 egg yolks
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/3 cup whipping cream
1/3 cup amaretto
garnish with extra chopped toasted almonds

This is definitely a make a few days beforehand dish, cause the oven instructions will drive you nuts.

Preheat your oven to 400 and remember to leave out the packages of cream cheese (I forget ALL the time).  Whiz up almonds in a food processor until roughly chopped (not like fine sandy flour, still chunky). Add 1/4 cuppa sugar and melted butter, and then give it a few more whizzes until the mixture comes together. Press, mush and continue to press the almond butter mixture into the bottom of a spring form pan and mush up the sides of the pan about an inch and a half up.  Even it out so that there's not super thick portions here or there.

Bake the almond crust at 400° for 10 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

Meanwhile beat your room temp cream cheese, the remaining 3/4 cup sugar, and vanilla at a medium speed with an electric mixer until smooth, but don't over beat. One at a time, add eggs and yolks, making sure to beat well after each addition (this may be a bit anal retentive chef, but I have trouble with pockets of cream cheese in my cheesecakes so you may actually have to do this). Add flour; and mix until smooth. Add whipping cream and amaretto; and mix until blended. Spoon cream cheese mixture into your cooled crust.

Bake at 400° for 10 minutes, enough time to enjoy some coffee and open your latest issue of Vanity Fair. Then reduce temperature to 350°, and bake another 30 minutes (set the timer!) or until center is firm or you just can't stand it anymore.  Continue perusing the pictures from the socialite parties in Vanity Fair.  Then turn off the oven and without opening up the door (!), let cheesecake stand in oven, with oven door closed (no peeking!) for yet another 30 minutes.  Seriously, busy yourself with the long Vanity Fair articles now. Remove from oven; let cool on a wire rack 30 minutes. Finally, cover and chill overnight before serving.  And cover up any Quality Control testing spots with some slivered almonds as garnish.