Blessings, Confessions and Lap Dances

Things I am thankful for:

Michael Parenton is a Jet (When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette, til your last dying day...). Signed as a free agent on Sunday.

Troy Kropog joins Patrick Ramsey on the roster as a Tennessee Titan (35th in 4th round, 135 overall!)

Craig Gelhardt has an offer to attend rookie camp at Jacksonville. It didn't quite work out for Lester Ricard there, but I'm sure Craig can party with Jack Del Rio.

USC and Ohio State kicked LSU’s derriere up and down the NFL draft board. That alone would have made my weekend. Even Tulane's only pick went ahead of 5 of theirs. Ha! (I cannot WAIT for Michael Parenton to embarrass Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson in the pros. Probably with his hand tied behind his back too. I’m sorry, I simply cannot explain why the Kansas City Chiefs have band-aided dumb with dumber on their roster)

Tulane took 2 out of 3 in the weekend series against Memphis.

There was a little drama after the game tied and went into overtime on Saturday. Memphis won. Sigh. One of our fans and a Tiger High fan had some words, next thing you know beer is flying, fists coming out in the middle of Ben Weiner Drive. TUPD whisked away the Tiger High fan (who refused to accept an apology) before anybody got hurt and things got more out of hand. Phew!

As much as we “hate” opposing teams who dare take on our beloved Tulane Green Wave, we in New Orleans love all of our visitors and in an effort to entice them to continue returning to our fine city, we want to make sure that they enjoy themselves as much as possible. Especially Tulsa during Southern Decadence, we hope they enjoy all of the free drinks bought for them by that very tall woman with an adam’s apple and man hands. We also hope that Houston Cooter fans choke on their gumbo. Just kidding. Not. Everybody else: WELCOME TO NEW ORLEANS!

I hate to say that I missed the Tulane football scrimmage after all of my talking about it. The T Club sponsored a crawfish boil and they brought in Mr. Mudbugs. So while I was busy pinching and sucking, the scrimmage got underway and ended right as I got settled into the bleacher next to the Sparks and the Moores. I barely was two words into a delightful conversation with Nell Sparks when the whistle blew and the gates opened to let fans out onto the field.

Last August Toledo staged the longest scrimmage in the history of America – almost 3 hours long, so I didn’t realize we’d have a book end with the shortest scrimmage in the history of America this spring with the team on the field for all of about 20 minutes. Well I did get to chat up the new Defensive End transfer from Iowa: Dezman Moses.

Tulane officially took the First NBC cup in this year’s baseball series with UNO. Hoo-ray!

There’s still one more game left to play out at Maestri in two weeks. But it really was no fun beating UNO completely last week. The thrill was gone. I kind of wanted a real opportunity to get back at UNO third baseman alumnus, TJ Baxter, for giving section 110 the bird last year (a little rude dontcha think?).

UNO beat Tulane badly last year, so I have not found much sympathy amongst the Tulane faithful about UNO's dismal performance against us. The score when UNO beat us last year was so embarrassing that Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo were still licking their wounds days after. This year Tulane won the first game by 8-3 and the second game by 14-0 with no mercy rule in place. Innings 6 through 9 were excrutiating to watch.

So now, for my confession.

My friends, Mrs. Hullabaloo needs an intervention. I am shopping ‘til I’m dropping.

At Target, I found some stylish paper plates for Tulane Homecoming next year. They will go perfect with this “serengeti” napkin pattern I found.

Which matches my new Tulane carry bag that I had monogrammed. Be jealous Tulane Hullabaloo-ettes!

See, I found the wonderfully talented Beth who embroiders. Embroidery Beth made this beautiful tote bag for her mother who attends the Tulane Baseball games. When I saw it, I squeeled “How Cute! I must have one!”

So I gave Beth my new insulated drink tub, my new zebra striped bag and she made me a replica of the bag she made her mom.

So while I was on a roll, I decided to keep window shopping online and I came across these things:

How cute for the Football Moms!

And won’t these be perfect for Peggy’s Sonoma Chicken Salad at homecoming next year?

I know Mr. Hullabaloo will just hate how impractical these BBQ skewers are, but they are just too cute to pass up.
I tell you this shopping has GOT to stop. Mrs. Hullabaloo needs to be restrained.

By the way, Nell called us on a Friday night at dinner to squeal about the insulator bags I found at Big Lots. She absolutely must have 4 of them. Apparently the east bank Big Lots are plum cleaned out, so I went and cleaned out the Gretna Big Lots.

Indeed, these insulator bags are fabulous. It small and compact, yet fits all of the important ingredients for Bloody Marys at Tailgating on Saturday, including the side pockets for a radio headset, toothpicks, bottle opener, knife, extra koozie, what have you.

And for the ECU series, it was perfect to tote some Hullabaloo Tailgaters tee-shirts for Comedian Al. Comedian Al had demanded a lap dance in return for tickets to Saturday’s game against ECU. Al claimed that he’d given Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo “dozens” of tickets – which I just recall 2, but far be it from me to deny Al a lap dance to be performed by Mr. Hullabaloo if he was up to it.

Needless to say Mr. Hullabaloo declined the opportunity to perform. I have to add that New Orleaneans have learned: Lap Dances cannot be expensed. As in: don’t try to add it to your expense reports like former Senator Derrick Shephard tried to do. So in lieu of, we decided to gift Al one of our tailgating tee-shirts which we had debuted at the Tulane-Alabama game. Gratuitous cute photo of Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo walking into Bryant Denny stadium sporting said cute tee-shirts.

We were so proud of the Greenwave that night! Tulane held Alabama to a shaky win and we walked out of the stadium just floating on air. Alabama fans were embarrassed about that win. It was ugly. We forced 3 fumbles, they missed an extra point and field goal. John “Sarah Jessica” Parker Wilson only completed 11 of 23 passes for 73 yards! Miss Parker did not get drafted this weekend. Can you tell I am anxious for Tulane Football season to get started?

UPDATE: The Ray Hester chapter has sold us the aprons. Egads, more shopping! But fortunately, we can finally take the scarlett THIEF tatoos off of our foreheads! Peggy and I are having the aprons embroidered for Mr. Koozie and Mr. Hullabaloo.

ROLL WAVE!

The Motherlode

What a DAY!

The best thing about life in New Orleans is that you just never know what the day will have in store for you. Carpe Diem!

Lately, the weather in New Orleans is simply GRAND. Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo have just been having a HOOT of a time lately at the Tulane baseball games, with friends, enjoying ourselves on the weekends doing this and that and to top it all off: I have found the motherlode.

First of all Mr. Peggy has respectfully requested that he no longer be addressed as Mr. Peggy. Despite all of the fan mail and input in Section 110 imploring that Mr. Peggy remain Mr. Peggy, he has asked to be called Mr. Dirtball for his DIRTBALL cheers during the baseball games. I, however, think I like Mr. Koozie better. So Mr. Peggy has been christened Mr. Koozie. Done.

Mr. Koozie is never sans a koozie. Even if the collapsible neoprene or hard insulator variety are unavailable, Mr. Koozie has rubber bands and napkins available to fashion a Kajun Koozie. I'm not kidding.

You just cannot be caught dead in Louisiana without a koozie. Stash some in your car, keep one in your purse, lap top bag, desk drawer. You never know when a mini celebration will break out, a band will commence playing or marching down the street, and you need to be prepared.

Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo keep folding tailgating chairs and sometimes a mini grill in the trunk of the car at all times, so we can tailgate at a moments notice. We also have a vast array of koozies for all occasions: football jersey koozies, homecoming koozies, sorority and fraternity koozies, mardi gras koozies. Here's our baseball season koozie - which we are now down to just one since in Mr. Hullabaloo's elation of the Tulane win over LSU in baseball, was left behind in the seat cupholder at Turchin. A Small Sacrifice to the Baseball Gods. whatcha gonna do.

(Speaking of LSU game - GEAUX NICHOLS STATE!
ROLL COLONELS ROLL! tee hee!)

So Mr. Hullabaloo had to go to Home Depot. How boring for Mrs. Hullabaloo. But then I realized I could wander Big Lots. It was like a calling. Serendipity. Kismet. Simply Meant to Be.

Because now we have.......THE SWEEP SHIRT KOOZIES!

During our last bowl appearance in football (Hawaii Bowl 2003), the ever fabulous Todd Graffignini, official voice of the greenwave, found these green aloha shirts with white hibiscus which everybody on the trip promptly purchased and a veritable fashion frenzy ensued. It was a stampede to the aloha shirt stands all. over. waikiki.

After returning victorious to the mainland, the shirt craze morphed into wearing these shirts on Sundays to the baseball games. If Tulane has taken the first two games in the series, on sunday the Green Aloha Shirt Army takes over in the stands. An official Sweep Shirt if you will.

So now you know the story behind the Sweep Shirts. We have koozies to match. How fabulous!

Let me tell you, I have plum. cleaned. out. Big Lots of green hawaiian shirt koozies. It's a literal run on the sweep koozies.

What's more: Big Lots at Elmwood had an entire endcap of Tulane items. Neck rolls, pillows, footballs and this very adorable insulated bag ($5) that is the PERFECT size for refreshments for the spring and fall scrimmages. Good thing too. Spring scrimmage is April 25th!

And then when it just could not get any better, I come back and the always effervescent and bubbly Nell Sparks has graced my email inbox with THE MOTHERLODE of Cajun entertainment recipes. Dips g-a-l-o-r-e my friends. a literal appetizer-apalooza.

http://www.cajun-recipes.com/index.htm

I'll let you know how some of them turn out.

ROLL WAVE!

I'm a Fan of Two Teams

Tulane and Whoever Plays LSU.

I swear. Saturday after Tulane pummeled UCF in baseball 20-5 and invoking the mercy rule, we cheered the Tide on to victory over BRCC. It was a glorious day. It is always hilarious listening to the pompous commentators predicting a tiger rally only to just keep digging themselves a hole. It was a farce, an aberration, they were playing freshmen, the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, it's a midweek game. Whatever. You lost and it was delicious.

So I ran across this list of jokes, and laughed myself silly today. I'm only going to repost the g-rated ones. There's some very unlady like, yet very amusing, jokes. Click on the link though and share them far and wide.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Baton Rouge?
A: "New Orleans: 87 Miles"

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Q: What does the average Louisiana State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: a LSU, a Tulane grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting “This is for the Fighting Irish!” as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for the Gators!”

Seeing this, the Tulane grad walked over and shouted "This one is for the Green Wave!" and pushed the Tigers fan off the side of the mountain.

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Q: What do you call a LSU player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!

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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good LSU joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a LSU grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a LSU grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a LSU grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

###

An LSU Tigers fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

(Mrs. Hullabaloo, that was terrible and unladylike! I know, I feel sorry for the frog)

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Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: In an LSU classroom. That's the last place you would find a football player.

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Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and the LSU Tigers?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

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Q: How do you get a Louisiana State University grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

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It was reported that LSU head football coach Les Miles will only be dressing twenty players for the Tulane game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

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Q: Why do Louisiana State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Louisiana State University library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

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One day in an elementary school in Baton Rouge, LA, a teacher asks her class if the LSU Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Tulane Green Wave "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Green Wave fan, my mom is a Green Wave fan, I guess that makes me a Green Wave fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a LSU fan."

###

Q. What did the LSU graduate say to the Tulane graduate?
A. "May I take your order, please?"

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Q: Why don't LSU Tigers fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

###

One foggy night, a Tulane fan and a LSU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near New Orleans. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The LSU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I'm lucky to be alive!”
Likewise, the Green Wave fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived. The LSU fan walks over to the Green Wave fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.” The Green Wave fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck.”
The Green Wave fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Tiger fan, “I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Tiger fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Tiger fan hands it back to the Green Wave fan and says, “Your turn!”
The Green Wave fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up.”


My favorite shot from Tulane's 2005 trip to Omaha for the CWS (big mike of the greenbackers):

The Drama of the Traveling Aprons

Just Where has Mrs. Hullabaloo BEEN?

Girl, listen. Work has been getting in the way of enjoying Tulane baseball season and tailgating in the beautiful sunshine in March. But not too much you know. I got my priorities.

The Houston Cooters came into town last weekend. and stank. up. the. place. They can never be classy. An old idiot sitting in the handicap seating above 103 started desecrating the “Hullabaloo.”

We almost tossed him out.

Anyways, the morning of the Sunday game we joined the Ray Hester chapter to tailgate. Master Chef Ed grilled up my BYO-turkey burgers (made with the “no mess up” recipe). Delish, thank you Ed! Mr. Hullabaloo had his requisite hot dogs. and Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo brought all the trimmings for some fine bloody marys to share: our adorable “Hullabaloo!” throw cups, celery sticks, queen olives, Zing Zang mix, Three Olives vodka (essential) and Mr. Hullabaloo’s favorite: The Snap Beans. yummmmmm.

Of course we forgot the pickled asparagus, but we soldiered on.

Mrs. Hullabaloo also whipped up her tried, but true, corn salad from Williams-Sonoma’s fabulous, must have book: Backyard Barbecues.

Mrs. Hullabaloo has been making this corn salad for years to resounding reviews and a smattering of applause. Priscilla and Peggy requested it be posted, so I have obliged:

Williams-Sonoma Southfork Salad
(don’t quite remember why it’s from Southfork)

can of sweet corn (whole kernels)
one green bell pepper chopped into bits
one SMALL red onion chopped into bits
dozen chopped cherry or plum tomatoes (or one big beefsteak)
one minced up green jalapeno (DISCARD THE SEEDS OR YOU WILL WANT TO DIE)
one large rib of celery chopped into bits
handful FRESH chopped cilantro
handful FRESH chopped parsley
whomp of mayonnaise
few splashes from a can of chicken broth
few splashes red wine vinegar
salt and pepper to taste

and then place into adorable serving bowl – I used a plastic baseball bowl from Party City that is fabulous.

I also leave the salad sitting out of the fridge for a bit (while I’m packing up for tailgating) and then put into the cooler. Refrigerating it right away stops the flavors from getting mingled together properly.

So after the series with Houston is where the Drama Begins.

Mr. Hullabaloo was unavoidably detained from attending the Tulane Golf Classic due to business. Mrs. Hullabaloo had volunteered (a moment of weakness) to help serve Jambalaya to be lovingly prepared by Mr. Scott of the Ray Hester Chapter fame.

How boring to be alone.

So I called in the girls for reinforcement. Peggy, the one and only Patti Terranova (she of “Fourth and New Orleans fame”) and then the very lovely Terry from baseball.

We had a lovely day being silly and laughing like girls tend to do when grouped together.

See. Here’s a picture of Peggy licking the Jambalaya paddle.


To properly prepare for an appearance amongst English Turn's finest, I had stumbled into K-Mart of all places Sunday evening and hit the jackpot. Cute top, cute flip flops and fashionable carry-all bag:

Adorable.

Well, then Mr. Scott presented us with THE APRONS.

These are not just ordinary, won’t-be-caught-dead-in-that!-aprons. These were glorious dark evergreen aprons with a stunning embroidered crested T logo.

The very instant this apron is placed over your shoulders one is transformed from ho-hum into Fabulous. The powers of this apron transcends gender and race. Mystic these aprons are.

And we were NOT giving them back.

So Terry, Peggy and I frolicked around all afternoon, complimenting each other on our aprons (You look fabulous! No. YOU look fabulous! OK, we both look fabulous!). We used the English Turn Green as our catwalk.

We did pause to take photos of NFL superstar Matt Forte.

See, this is me trying to casually hide behind Peggy to take a photo after he left our station. All I got was Peggy's ear and then all background.

When he had arrived moments before this "candid shot" was taken, we all hugged him and peppered him with questions about this and that. So we chickened out on taking a photo in front of him because we didn’t want to look like complete stallker/groupies. It somehow would look better for us to act like fools while he's trying to play golf.

Luckily Patty has known Matt since he was in diapers so when he passed by later, we promptly tossed our phone cameras at her and dispatched her to take his photo so we didn’t look like complete fools. I won’t mention that I missed Mewelde Moore, superbowl champion, when I had to run an errand. I have put that disappointment out of my mind.

So at the end of the day, Mr. Scott and his wife start asking for the aprons. I had told Mr. Scott earlier in the day that the apron would have to be pried from my dead and lifeless body. I had even offered to PAY for the apron, but Mr. Scott said “No.”

There was just one acceptable solution: Liberate the Aprons.

When they started asking for the aprons, Peggy and I did what we had to do. We tossed them in the back of my trunk (yes, Mrs. Hullabaloo drove her car out to our station using the golf trail) and pretended not to hear her.

Mrs. Scott became more persistent! I got into my car. Terry had stashed her apron in her bag in the backseat, but had gone to powder her nose in the ladies room.

Peggy wandered over to help putting away everything. Then she was acting silly by doing mime instructions on how to manuever the car in the tight golf trail. She was dancing all around and frolicking. All the while Mrs. Scott would not cease from pestering about The Aprons.

I kept motioning to Peggy to Get. In. The. Car. Finally through gritted teeth: I yelled GET IN THE CAR!

We squeeled off.

Peggy starts screaming that we left behind Patti and Terry. Patti can get a ride with Mr. and Mrs. Scott! We needed to just save ourselves and leave them behind!

We were laughing so hard I about pee’d my pants. Meanwhile Terry heard the car squeel away so mid-nose powdering she busts out of the ladies room and takes off running behind the car. Patti calls us and yells at us to stop because poor Terry is running behind us. What. A. Hoot!

We spent the post-golf reception ducking and hiding from Mr. and Mrs. Scott behind plants and under the tables and such. Of course I called Patti and explained our bizarre behavior.

So then for the Tulane-LSU baseball game and - in rare form - Mr. and Mrs. Hullabaloo arrive completely empty handed.

Our poor refrigerator has nothing. That seems to happen when one does not grocery shop in a timely manner. We did not want to miss a second of the afternoon's festivities. So we grabbed two koozies and decided to see what the evening would have in store for us.

Luckily our wonderful friends, the Brothers B, had a delightful set up. Real rocks glasses, an impressive array of spirits, lick your fingers blackened ribeye and barbecue shrimp.

Quick thinking I remembered The Aprons and that it would be an acceptable offering to our hosts. Being that we were empty handed and showered with such generosity. I LENT the Brothers B the stolen aprons. Big Mistake.

Because they weren’t giving them back.

Ha ha! ROLL WAVE!!

The Brother's B “Lick Your Fingers Ribeye”
meat of your choice cut into bite size pieces
2 sticks butter per pound
generous handful of Prudhommes blackened seasoning
a ziplock bag
marinate overnight

at tailgating heat up a cured cast iron skillet glowing red. Add your meat, toss about, have a few sips of your drink, toss about some more and then serve.

Barbecue Shrimp
Hi-Do bakery french bread (they're on Terry Parkway)
pound Large heads-on shrimp or small prawns (we like the Westwego market)
stick of butter (American Beauty)
chicken broth cube or packet
packet italian dressing
smidge chopped fresh parsley
tons chopped thyme
massive scoop of Cajun seasoning (we use a secret blend from a friend)
generous shakes of cracked black pepper
generous splashes of white wine
dashes of water

Toss everything (except the bread and shrimps) together into a long deep pot or roasting pan. Adjust ingredients (add more of this/more of that) until you are happy with the flavorings. Maybe add some plain cayenne and some paprika if you want. Once the sauce is to your liking, add in your shrimps and simmer until they are cooked. Put some on a plate with some scoops of the sauce, break off pieces of the Hi-Do bread and make a mess!

Nifty New Plunger

This story is hilarious.

Frank, a member of the Tulane Greenwave Nation, ran across an ebay auction for the Skull of Mike IV back before Katrina. When we had a more carefree sense of humor (we are slowly getting back to that).

Mike IV I guess would be great-grandfather of the current Mike. I cannot speak with authority on that lineage since I don't keep count or detailed data on goings on in Baton Rouge. I much prefer talking about them behind their backs. and making fun of them.

Because... as I told one of Mr. Hullabaloo's friends, MJ, who lives and breaths by what happens in Baton Rouge and ACTUALLY called me at my office, interrupted my very busy career, to notify me of an appearance in some chicken finger bowl or whatever it was: "but MJ, they're such an easy school to make fun of." Isn't that the truth!

Frank apparently even made a cameo with the Skull of Mike to the Ole Miss-LSU football game a few years ago. Replete with appearance schedule and all. Put a baseball cap on him. The Skull even has a bowling bag it travels in.

So yesterday was the baseball game against LSU. and of course our very own Nadine had to make an appearance. She made a splash.

Leaving the game, we were inspired to lead the crowd on the ramp in several rounds of "GREEN! WAVE!" and a finale "HULLABALOO!" Mr. Peggy kept saying "oh, gaoooh tigaaaas!" like a sissy to all the LSU fans. We were imature. It was great.

In the parking lot, Mr. Hullabaloo offered photographs with Nadine for $5. We had no takers.

Actually we had one taker. Peggy spent much care making sure that Nadine was captured from the perfect angle by this young professional photographer (he had a case, several lenses draped around his neck and all). When he walked away we noticed he had an LSU sweatshirt tied around his behind. Hilarious!

Anyways, cheers, from the Times Picayune we can enjoy these photographs for posterity.

ROLL WAVE!!!