There is No Plan B

Ha, I'm fixin to graffiti this at the Wilson Center until they agree to restructure our scholarship situation. Or at least schedule a discussion with Gibson Hall about it.

So freshman Tim Yandel delivered today and got us a win in overtime today in baseball. Lawd have mercy we needed that win. Without it, stick a fork in us we were done. d-o-n-e.

And just look! Times Picayune actually covered the game. And they actually suppressed their pre-pertubal urges and didn't select another infantile picture of a Tulane player getting hit in the groin as "Photo of The Day" like TP photog David Grunfeld did after the Northwestern game last Tuesday. We are so proud.

Bra-vo, TP!


photo by Peter Forest

Of course I must also breathlessly report that last night at Senior Night for the Greenwave basketball team the ever classy UH cooters, headed by their Etiquette Coach, James Dick-e, acted like the thug fools they are. It was a close game and Tulane was ahead most of the game, falling behind, battling back and then letting it heartbreaking-ly slip away in the final moments. So instead of saying "Great Game!" let's shake hands, Mr. Dick-e encouraged his thug team into cursing and flipping off the Tulane fans in the stands. Yes. Have I mentioned enough how simply awful that wretched institution is? And we have to be associated with them for the foreseable future until we can finally mercifully manage to get ourselves into a for real college conference and out of the "Awkward 12"*

*Yes I think the new name for the Big East is stupid, so sue me for being a cynical fan.

Anyways, on more pleasant topics: I am finally excited about 2013 tailgating. No, we haven't gotten a new schedule, although I continue to pray on that daily. TPTB spinning that this schedule includes 6 bowl teams just further exacerbates that we...um... have not quite been in that number. So today after the baseball game Coach and Mrs. Hullabaloo spent some social time with Booty to laugh and brainstorm what to do about tailgating themes for this very unfortunate schedule we are having heaped on us in less than five months time. Time is a ticking, so I need to hop to it.

I just have to say that Booty is a rock. Last season she walked me off the ledge about morning games (I wish we had simple problems such as this). And today she helped birth some fab ideas that has me truly excited about Tulane Tailgating for 2013.

I present to you, our Potential 2013 Tailgating Themes

August 31: Jamaican Me Crazy Already Playing Jack(ed)son State: Jerk Chicken Wings, Plantain chips and Lime Pepper Jelly over Cream Cheese, Fresh Fruit Kabobs, Pineapple Slaw, Black Bean salsa, Caribbean Crispix Mix, Coconut Curry Popcorn, Red Stripe Beer and Mint Lime Blueberry Gingerbeer Cocktail (with optional bourbon).

Since it feels like we tailgate on the surface of the sun in August and September, Booty suggested a luau theme. But with Bob Marley's grandson, Nico, now playing for the Wave, I thought of Jamaica and with New Orleans the unofficial Capital of the Caribbean, why, it's a perfect combination.

September 7: Challah-baloo TM (yes! aren't we clever): In honor of welcoming our Southernmost Alabamians and also in reverence that Rosh Hashana will be upon us soon, we're getting our Jew on. Kosher Deli Meat Roll, Sweet and Tangy Beef Brisket, Whitefish Salad, Kosher Pickles, Granny Smith Apple Wedges with honey, Sweet and Savory Noodle Kugel Casserole, Maneschewitz Sangria, Chocolate Matza Cracker Brittle, Almond Raisin Challah Rolls, and Coconut Macaroon Brownies.

October 5: Mean Green Octoberfest. Get out your leiderhosen and your cowboy boots. Reprise of a tried and true theme. Welkommen North Texans!

October 12 (ECU): Columbus Discovers Bacon (or Seafood). I'm still fleshing this Columbus Day theme out. A pork and bacon centric tailgate menu could be very fun with BLT pasta salad, or pulled pork sliders. But Coach Hullabaloo wants shrimp cake sliders. Hmmmm, we'll see.

October 27 (Aslut): Halloween. Boo: Aslut is coming to Nola.

November 23 (UTEP): Tex-Mex, because who doesn't like tex-mex?

So, my chamudis? What do you think? Cute, right?

YOU BETCHA

Postcard From The Edge

Welcome back, Mrs. Bad Fan here breaks her silence.

I almost asked Preacherman to just drive his minivan with all of us aboard straight into Bayou Lafourche last nite, but then I thought of you and how much y'all have missed me.

A group of us road tripped out to Thibodaux for our "away" baseball game with Harvard on the Bayou. Jesus, Joseph and Mary and all of the angels and saints: What is Going On Here?! We lost in the most humiliating fashion to a school who's press box is a card table set up on metal bleachers and a shed for a ticket window.

See, here's photographic proof. This is it. This is the expanse of Didier Field. Where we lost like fools.


I wish I'd snapped a picture of Graf in his hoodie trying to broadcast from that card table. It was hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious: On the way to Thibodaux Peggy was telling me the story about of Tulane's last away game at Didier Field which I did not attend. I was laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants. Did you know Coach Jones got kicked out of Nicholl's stadium? Twice! Apparently Coach Jones got hot about some call during the game, so the ump told him to leave. But as you can see this stadium is not exactly a fortress. So Jones snuck back in somehow into a corner somewhere in the stands and didn't even have a mustache disguise or potted fern to hide behind or anything. So he got discovered and walked back out to the bus, but Tulane fans made a human tunnel for him to leave through causing much aggravation to the Colonels and their fans. So afterwards a stupid LSU fan tries to taunt Big Mike because that's how they roll in Baton Rouge - you get aggravated with games and so you taunt the opponent's fans. So Big Mike turned to the sorry squirt and said "Yeah?! Well, I peed on your truck. So there." He didn't really, but OMG ha!

But alas...after the humiliation of the past 4 games, Coach Hullabaloo is going to refuse to go to Tuscaloosa for the series with Alabama and that makes me sad.

Anyways, I just have to say: All of you have been so kind and patient during my many months of silence following the end of that whackadoodle football season we had in 2012. After the umpteenth person asked about Hullabaloo Huddle last night and during our first weekend series at Turchin, I decided to just post already. My silence has been kind of on purpose, save a few outbursts on twitter. And save some some booty shaking over the Bowl Season Upsets that warmed my heart so. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank YOU Clemson and, well, um, thank you, begrudingly, Louisville. Bowl Season can make strange bedfellows of even some of us most hardened fans. But by the way, did you know that Tulane has a vastly larger endowment than Clemson?

So, anyways, what has mostly contributed to my silence has been the ever changing landscape of our future. Paying attention to and following conference negotiations, media deals and our recruiting inroads has been like running with the bulls. The fluctuations of each and every twitter newscycle has been like totally cray. At this point in our lives it even appears that the Big East is about to shred all sense of dignity and acquiese into selling it's name (!) to the Seven Whiny Babies also informally known as the Catholic 7.

Yes, you've emailed, texted and cornered me on social media for my opinions. I value that you value my ole little opinion so here is a summation:

To Whom It May Concern: Mrs. Hullabaloo approved of the Big East news. Made Lorenzo Doss' takeaway in the final game of the season a glimmer of the possibilities. But the shine's kinda worn off with the implosion that ensued and now that the 2013 schedule's been announced, plus with Robert Kelley being academically ineligible it forces me to remember that we are talking about Tulane here and not some mythical land of manna that has decided truly once and for all to get it's act together.

Plus, forgive me for not busting out a ticker tape parade about Aslut following us to the Big East and the whole excrutiating C7 Death Spiral. Although I did pause to do my best Vincent Price MUWAHAHA! that we were asked first over the remaining members of Ex-Cusa. Witnessing the apoplexy of the haters was d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s for the moments that it lasted.

But then, I was confronted with a most ratchet* development in Tulane Contemporary History: Our 2013 football schedule. It SO blows. I'm a schedule elitist y'all, so sue me.

*Ratchet is actually word y'all. It's the twitter bastardization of wretched. hilarous, right? kids!

Anyways, back to my regularly scheduled bitching: What has further cemented my gossip fueled and cynical opinions is that at the tail end of the conference capers and what not, Tulane's AD pipes up and finally "had something to say."

Ok, Listen up folks! A Member of TPTB Feels It Imperative To Announce, Above All Other Absurdity of Our Making, That - wait for it ........ Boisie State Is Inappopriate and Unreasonable.....

Y'all. !

With the awkward level of crap heaved at Tulane over the winter from every corner of ESPN and national newspapers (and that unfortunate Marquette interview) about how we were responsible for the demise of the American College Conferences As We Know It for daring to accept the invitation to the Big East, this is what merited an outburst of outrage from Wilson Center: That Boisie State's PTB aren't shy or demure about strong arming a deal to benefit themselves. Look who's looking out for number one! How Shameful. And We Won't Stand For That Behavior!

Talk about a lost opportunity to Jujitzu all of the bad publicity into something positive. When's the last time we trended in the newscycles?

Anyways, moving on. I gotta reserve some ire for this Inappropriate and Unreasonable Football Schedule and this just most truly sad start to the baseball season. (But honestly, lost in all this if you can take a break from your wrist slitting appointments, Tulane Baskeball has been winning. Shhhh! though. We can't mention it or it will break the mojo. So everybody remain silent ok.)

2013 HOME Southernmost Alabama, ULM, Jack(who?)son State, East Carolina, North(of Denton) Texas, Aslut, UTEP

2013 AWAY Boca Raton Community College FAU, Louisiana Tech, Rice, UTSA, Syracuse

This is what an inaugural member of the SEC has come to: Road trips to Ruston!. I won't lie: I won't be shedding a tear about going to Boca Raton with Coach Hullabaloo, we're big fans of Miami. I can't wait to make all of my favorite restaurant reservations and hit up my favorite shops. The lone bright spot. And what's more is that with the awfulness that has befallen my Slugger Birds, we now have to turn our minds and get pumped up about opening up against South Alabama. boo.

The silver lining in all of this is my spiritual edification. In that this all makes my fog of disappointment about morning games last season just all the more tragic. God sure learned me to question a game time against Ole Miss. (What was I thinking??!!!) A sure lesson in gratefulness and humility, because even if TPTB scheduled 6pm games to make up for this ratchet-ness, it is not going to rectify a schedule packed 100% with directional schools. Lord, please forgive me and show us mercy. There is still time though for TPTB to Rise Up and walk back an agreement with one of these schools like Alabama and the Outhouse did to us. Our Lady of Football Schedules, pray for us. Amen.

Anyways, my dears: 7 months to plan so I just need to get over it and Echa Pa'Lante!

Senior Game and a Retrospective

Our senior game tailgating was a-dorable.

I hope our wave mommas enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

I am really digging this tablecloth, which Booty tried to use as a poncho during our 4th Q early start on post-game tailgating. Ha! But fer reals: it's so easy to get together and it's cheap. And that's key to keeping Coach Hullabaloo from getting exasperated.

So how you make this tablecloth, you take two pieces of felt and then cut trims of fringe all the way around the border a few inches. I'd say about 3-4 inches. And then get busy knotting a single knot tie with all of the fringe pieces.

I think I'm gonna improve upon this and get it embroidered either with a major statement fleur de lis, or with "Roll Wave" in old school cursive. Will see what inspires me. But I very much liked this look.

The banner I loved also, so it won't be the last time you see it.

So this was the last game of Booty as Riptide. So I am sharing some pictures as a retrospective. (disclaimer: if none of my sassy sarcastic commentary makes any sense, disregard: I am being facetious)

Booty gagging from proximity to Mike

Booty modeling a swingline stapler in honor of the daughter of the creator of Office Space who was a member of Shockwave. (this by the way, is factual)

Booty graciously welcoming potential future CUSA members as deck chairs continue to be re-arranged.

Booty photobombed all of Memphis Pouncer's pictures at the Memphis game, but all I captured was her doing the chacha at the pregame pep rally at the Alumni Tent (which was still pretty cute).



Me relieved that Tulane didn't add to our gridiron woes by not having Riptide at the UL game.

MrsHullabaloo and Riptide doing a disco bump pre-game at the Senior Game.

Farewell Booty as Riptide! Thank you for your service!

This is An Outrage

Our Moral Victory was swept out right from under us.

Brent Comardelle WAS inbounds with both feet, Joshua Rounds DID go 25 yards, Robert Kelley DID make the first down.

and the pirates WERE facemasking ALL day.

It was such an outrage, I literally almost ran out onto the field and did something. What I'm not sure yet, but it would have been lights out.

Did you know I have fed some of these idiot zebras' wives this season?! Yes. at my tailgates. And this is the thanks I get.

Anyways, funniest thing all season is realizing two things. The cleverness of our injury time outs (I had an Aha! moment in Memphis. So sneeky!) and how I will always have to giggle after a Zach Davis tackle.

He seems to always do this Kung Fu move at his victim after slaying them.

I feel he must say "Namaste!" to them, or something like that.

Also, one new Tulane Tradition we started: instead of pumping a single fist for The Hullabaloo, we are pumping both arms up in the air in honor of Cairo Santos. You know, like the referee signal for "It's Good!" As in, the field goal was good and through the uprights.

Anyways, coming up later: a retrospective on the season. Hope you come check back tomorrow.

Yulfogelmelvin

It officially happened: We've reached the threshold where the team's given up and it's time to just mail it in. Stick a fork in us, we are done says Mrs. BadFan here.

Alls left is to read Rick Dickson's Dreidel Talk to explain away why the team stayed in a perpetual state of confusion and why it was such a brilliant idea to go UP THE MIDDLE FOUR FRIGGIN TIMES WITHIN THE 5.

Last week the Dreidel Talk was about how this was the greatest week of the history of Tulane Athletics. Two book end losses. Awesome. And some crazy names we gotta pretend to love. Yulfogelmevlin is what I'm christening it.

Losing so sucks! But I'm just terribly impatient here, watching this for 21 years. My fandom is old enough to no longer get carded.

Just to pour salt on the wound and further demoralize us, Memphis replayed highlights of the 1992 game. 62-20. I sat in the Superdome actually witnessesing that with some gorgeous J Crew catalogue models from Memphis State that my roomies and I were entertaining for the weekend. Yes, lucky us! I'd totally post pictures, but then I would digress from my pity party.

Anyways, while on memory lane: 10 years ago we went to a Bowl Game. Remember those? Oh, and UL almost beat Florida yesterday.

p.s. the Tulane Marching Band was awesome and I loved, having them with us here in Memphis. They totally rocked. Thank you TUMB for giving us some for real college moments.

That Gathering Formerly Known As Homecoming

Thank you very much to everybody who organized Champions Square, put up with my flagrant violation of "the rules," tried to iron out some major kinks and not only brought us chairs to replace our confiscated ones, but also offered to bring us tables even though we did successfully manage to get those past the very vigilant guards.

But, here's the deal. The Greenies haven't won a homecoming game in one of my cat's lifetimes. I am therefor o-fficially cancelling "Homecoming." Throwing my lot in with the Greeks and "boycot it" (in air quotes) like they did this year.

I commissioned these candy jars from Coach Hullabaloo. Via my new obsession: pintrest.

Y'all, Tulane enforcing the unbeknowst to everybody "rules" of Papa Benson's Champions Square went over as well as a fart in a synagogue. And add our having to contemplate a moral victory against Rice, just has me out of sorts!

Or at the very least we shall rename this tradition. Nell and I decided we are henceforth calling it: "A Gathering"

Change the name like they changed Airline Highway to Airline Drive.....Everybody knows it's still Airline Highway, but we're giving it a different spin, put our minds off the additional pressure.

Perhaps change the dynamic of the unsavory elements who may sashay in and ruin our gameday. And, hopefully rob Tammy Nunez of the opportunity to pen yet another one of her simply awful articles that she just relishes to write. Cause lawd, she's just awful. and did I mention patronizing (if she has such disdain, why doesn't she go find a more pleasant team to cover?)

Anyways, yes, I was ever proud of the Olive+Blue's effort in the second half, turning it into an exciting and winnable game. But lawd we tried just as hard to give the game away as well. I quit counting how many TD interceptions and fumbles we had that produced points for Rice. So maybe if we enact this name thing, it will take the pressure off.

Le Sigh...
this mascot planter, another pintrest inspiration

Well, one thing I do look forward to as the Coach Curtis Johnson Era continues to unfold is whipping up a Brazilian Themed tailgate for senior day 2013 in honor of Cairo Santos! Caipirinhas and all, y'all.

Cairo is all of 4 inches taller than me, y'all it was so cute and funny to see him tossed in the air like a rag doll in celebration when he kicked that monster field goal just before the half. (picture from Times Pic)

Oh Happy Moment!

Of course, I can't neglect to mention Ryan Travis genius interception giving us our 3rd Q Mo. Cause that was some kind of awesome reminiscent of our Days of Yore at Tad Gormley Homecomings. Oh if only Griff had seen the open lane for him to run in the 2 point conversion on his own. And if only at least a half a dozen other things, like me remembering to take a friggin picture with the Monday Night Football cameraman to have proof of my hospitality in offering him a free plate of food.

Coach Hullabaloo made me these too. Cute serving stands from spray painted terra cotta planters. Love, right? Totally inspired from pintrest.

But yes, Oh for the days of Yore....or days of the future if we manage to get ESPN gameday to The Y in 2014, but that marketing coup might just be too high to aim for our "right for Tulane's situation" mentality that TPTB insists on. I could have used my aforementioned photograph with their MNF camera person as evidence that my tailgates are not to be missed and deserve ESPN Gameday treatment all. on. their. own.

Here a rogue Tulane fan in Baton Rouge. My new favorite person in the universe. He says he is not an LSU Fan. At All. He begrudgingly goes there because it was the cheapest place he could go to school. I knew I'd found a kindred spirit when he tweeted today "LSU fans are a little mad #ha" (genius, a hashtag for "ha" lol).

Anyways, I just LOVE his irreverent humor, especially as it pertains to Red Stick. Follow him for genius commentary.

So bouquet of roses to my new twitter crush Cal for representing at Gameday. And Bouquet of roses to Alabama for silencing Baton Rouge for the weekend. Yes, Indeed. And bouquets of something to them classy tigah fans for their equally classy chant emanating from their student section. For real, it's not an Urban Legend. Because me, in my naive-tay thought, no...this couldn't have possibly! but no - they even have a whole twitter account for it! Oh, dare to dream y'all!

Next Week: Memphis!